Journey to Japan
by The Grey Coincidence
Summary: Li I, an orphan and mediocre Martial artist, travels to Japan in search of his long lost father. What follows is his many attempts to find any trace of a man he barely knew. On the way he is joined by friends, new and old...however, he is not the only one visiting the Land of the Rising Sun... just as night follows the sun he is being followed by something less than pleasant...
1. The Expedition Begins

**A/N: You have no idea how long I've wanted to start this fic for ! Like since the beginning of March ! Anyways, I will give a full intro next chapter. Other than that, not much to say here. Enjoy.  
**

The ship churned violently in the storm. Badr heard thunder in the distance, growling hungrily. Han Guan was huddled in the corner, whimpering like a frightened pup. Li II was cackling at the wolverine's discomfort. The Thing stood still on one leg, it's creepy painted grin nearly washed off completely. Badr rubbed the pellet that held the Deathworm affectionately. This was all that was left of Chang Shuimian's great promise.

Badr Tamod was a shadow of his former self. As thin as a twig, his fur was matted and dirty, his eyes were still an emerald green, but there was a certain oldness that was creeping slowly into them. His teeth were missing or yellow, and his clothes were as clean as a latrine. He wore a black cloak over an old and rusting plate of once-golden armour that now showed it's true, coppery colours. His pants were also plain black. He sat hunched, his claws outstretched, slowly dragging them across his now best friend and greatest weapon.

His companions were similarly disheveled.

Two of them had died, another had never been alive.

Han Guan had once been the shame of his clan. He had come to the House of Tamod to try and regain some honour...his dream had shattered in his face when the Thing had punctured his heart and killed him. Then Chang Shuimian had come along and brought the putrid thing back to life. In life Han Guan had been annoying, now he was intolerable. He spoke in a lighter Japanese accent, but put an honorific after every noun. He spoke faster then rain could fall, and his voice had somehow gotten higher in pitch.

His fur was still the same light brown, but his attire had changed somewhat. Death had also made him like the colour red...for reasons. He now covered his paws with bright red bandages, and wore a bright red rice hat. He went shirtless, and had a scar on his belly where the Thing had killed him before. He also wore a small bright red neckerchief and dark blue pants. Right now he was whimpering at the thunder and biting at the small remnants of his once foot-long claws.

Li II was also a ghost of his former self, and was barely recognizable. He had once been the identical duplicate of his creator and 'twin' Li I. Now however he couldn't be more different. Eyes that had once shone reflectively, were now pure balls of black anger. His fur had once been light brown, but was now a ghostly white. He wore a large black jumper that fit him like a robe.

Now as the thunder crackled outside the relative safety of the shaking ship Badr admired his last, more useful and not breathing companion.

The Thing was a large wooden line, built thinly, but with a certain sharpness to it. It's mane was made of sharp planks of wood, it's arms were tipped with three long sharp claws. The Thing had also been manufactured a bit further. Both it's feet now were made of katanas, which extended after the lion's knee. It had once been an arena puppet of innumerable bright colours, but in order to hide the fact that it was not a living thing, Badr had wrapped it in the garb of a ninja, and painted it's wooden features black. It also had one other modification. It had once had a plain face, with a painted grin, now Badr had incorporated a working jaw, so that the Thing could open and close it's mouth.

It was a super weapon. Due to a mix of one of Duyao's stronger poisons it had gained a twisted mind of it's own. Thankfully however it was still loyal to Badr. It could feel no pain. It obeyed orders. It could kill, as Han Guan was so painfully aware of. It didn't need food or water. It was perfect. But Badr had no idea how to replicate Duyao's potion, not for want of trying. He was a dead man as far as most people were concerned, and dead men had time to tinker. He had created several more puppets of death, but none of them were as effective as the Thing.

As Badr basked in the awe of his creation he couldn't help but let his lips curl at the sight of his other, miserable companions. Li II was not as strong as the Thing, or effective. Han Guan was neither that, nor as loyal. He had lost all his previous memories, but deep down they were still somewhere in his heart, and the wolverine's heart made him hesitate for far too long. Still, he was hopeful of the mission's success.

He would find the one that had wronged him, and in Japan find favor amongst the Daimyos. Once he had built himself an army he would return to China, and reign pain down upon those who had caused him so much pain. And on the way he would tick two names off his list... And when revenge was done and dusted and his army had found their victory, he would settle for no less than China. The Daimyos could have the rest.

He smiled at the thought, but that was not the task at hand. "Don't worry Safi, I will not let your death go by unavenged." He murmured to himself as teh storm outside continued to shake the ship and the sea.

* * *

Li I rubbed his tired eyes and stifled a yawn. It had taken him three hours to write a letter he could barely read. Still he was satisfied with the result.

It read:

 _Dear Jiao'ao,_

 _I hope this letter reaches you...it would be awkward if you're not Lord La's son...But I did do my research, so I think you are._  
 _As you probably guessed upon receiving the letter I woke up. The comma was...well I don't remember any of it XD. (XD btw, is my way of trying to show you what my mood is while I write the words down, it's like a laughing face.)_

 _It's odd though, I woke up surrounded by a lot of angry looking rhinos, who asked me what I was doing there. I explained my commatose position and then asked them what they were doing here. Apparently I slept through the capture of the villainous Gutou Daisui (in case you didn't know he's some sort of assassin) and he assassinated Badr Tamod. 0.0 (That by the way is my shocked face and shows that I was very surprised by this). If only I had woken up earlier...I could have stopped it !_

 _Anyways, after they realized (it took them long enough) that I was not involved in the murder they let me go with all of my belongings. You know Shifty left a note saying goodbye to me ? Do you have his address or something so I can write to him as well ? And if not could you try and get someone who does to send him a message that I woke up ? Please ? Thank you._

 _Anyways, I visited Han's and Li II's and Wugu's graves, and I was so pissed. Someone broke into Li II's and Han's graves ! If I ever find them I'll beat them bloody !_

 _...I was also very sad that Wugu and Han died. Honestly I still think about them. It's hard, but I don't ever want to forget my friends! Especially... Those guys..._

 _You might be wondering why this letter's from Japan...well you remember how I entered the tournament to try and find my father...well I have reasons to believe that he is here in Japan ! So I bought the next ticket here, and am now continuing my expedition._

 _I hope things are going well with you._

 _Love, Li I_

 _(Not the gay love by the way, just the friend sorta thing.)_

 _(I'm not gay.)_

Li I sighed, sealed the letter and posted it, before crossing the rode to the nearest inn.

His fur was completely soaked by the time he opened the door. The light brown of it had been rained down upon by a storm of immense power that seemed to rage through the whole of Japan all at once. His robe was also soaked, but still shone. It was an odd piece of clothing, bright yellow with small bubbles of red, green and blue sown in. He walked over to the counter, where he hopped onto a stool and stared up at the large bovine in charge of the empty place.

"Um, hello ? Do you speak Chinese ?"

The bovine looked down at him for a moment. "What do you want rabbit-kun ?" He said in an accent so strong Li I had barely understood it.

"I need a room to wait out the storm."

"You share, and pay double. I'm all full."

Li I blinked. "That's not fair !" He said hotly.

"Is best deal ! If you no want, then get back in rain." The bovine pointed out the window.

Li I sighed. "Fine."

The bovine nodded and handed him a spare key to room five. Still slightly livid, but containing his rage Li I hopped off the stool and proceeded to try and find the room. He stifled a yawn. He wouldn't have any money left if the storm continued at this rate.

* * *

 _"Mrs Yang Li's not sharing !"_

 _"Yeah, he's being selfish again !" The children complained to the old sheep, who sighed and got to her feet._

 _"Li, how many times have I told you to share the dominoes ? They want it too. "_

 _The kit looked up at the sheep from behind a pile of dominoes. "They can play with something else, right now I'm going to make a tower so big that when I stand on top of it, my daddy will come back !"_

 _Mrs Yang sighed again, exasperated. "Li, your father will come-"_

 _"Li, you really shouldn't waste your time. Your daddy ain't coming back. For all you know he's dead."_

 _The light brown rabbit glared at the larger albino rabbit. "My daddy's not dead. If he knew I was here he'd come immediately !"_

 _Lee, the albino bunny, pushed over one domino, which slammed into the other ones, and brought Li's great tower tumbling to the ground. "Whoops, now he'll never come for you."_

 _Mrs Yang gasped. "Lee, that was very mean of you ! That tower took a lot of time and-"_

 _Li however had already pounced on the other rabbit, so that they were now neck and neck, Li shaking his small fluffy fist in front of Lee's face. "You take that back !"_

 _"Never !" Lee replied._

 _The two rabbits were suddenly rolling over each other, trying and failing to hurt there opponent and cause lasting damage._

 _The old sheep pulled the two of them apart roughly, and held them both away at arm's length._

 _Li however was still livid enough to continue fighting. His strong feet kicked the air as he thrashed every which way to try and get back at the albino bunny._

 _"You're just jealous that my dad can come back !"_

 _Lee's eye twitched as well, and the rabbit started thrashing as well. "Come here and say that to my face you punk !"_

 _"Jerk !"_

 _"ENOUGH !" Mrs Yangs said, shaking them into submission. "Both of you go to your rooms now !"_

 _She put them down and they turned away from each other, muttering evil thoughts about the other._

* * *

 _Footnote: Not much for a first chapter, eh ? This story is going to be a real slow starter. Not much action (but a good amount later on ) and mostly humour for the first few parts. I decided it would be a good balance for my tournament fic...you'll see why later on.  
_

 _Anyways Han Guan is alive XD. Yeah, but he's not quite his old self. You guys are probably wondering why I decided not to drop that in as a bombshell...well I'm gonna try and do things very differently in this story. Like really differently. The focus is on comedy (for once) but it's still a serious fic (hence the T rating)._

 _Anyways that's it for now, any questions, please ask._

 _Keep Reading._


	2. A New Friend

**A/N: Short chapter right ? Well I'll explain why in a second.**

 **So basically when I started planning this story, I wasn't sure whether to make it just a prequel on Li I's backstory, or a sequel as it is now. So I decided to do both. Any chapter that is an 'A' something is a prequel chapter, like this one, that looks back on Li I's childhood. Any other chapter is set after House of Tamod, and is a sequel to it.**

 **And naturally the prequel chapters will be far more light-hearted. While the whole story is meant to reflect that mood, the sequel parts will have some dark (well I AM the one writing this ) elements here and there.**

 _The orphanage was a huge building, divided into five parts. It stood in the center of a small town called Suna, and was by far the largest building, dwarfing even the town hall._

 _There was the Earth section, for children younger than ten, who didn't need to go to school, and had to be taught the basics of everything, and needed day to day care._

 _There was the Water and Fire sections, for the younger girls and boys who were under sixteen, and went to school to learn, these were the ones who were adoptable._

 _There was the Metal and Wood sections, for the older boys and girls who were over sixteen, but under eighteen, these were the ones looking for apprenticeships and what to do with their lives. These were the sadder, fewer cases where the children were left unwanted._

 _By now Li I had grown into the Fire section. He was ten years old with three months under his belt. He wore a bright yellow shirt, with a pair of bright red pants. Today was his first day at school, and he was determined to learn everything, or die trying. He skipped merrily across the street's cobblestones, a bright wide grin spread across his face as the Suna School's gates stood wide opened._

 _He skipped all the way in. He was going to be the best student in this school's history, that way, when he managed to meet the emperor everyone in China would know who he was and his dad would come running over and then they would reunite, and then somewhere along the way he would give Lee what he deserved.  
_

 _Two hours later..._

 _Li I had never been happier to leave a room than now. The second the teacher opened the door to let the class out he bolted out into the grounds, in his haste shoving aside at least twelve of his classmates._

 _School was a nightmare._

 _It was full of things called 'rules' and 'teachers', and wasn't filled with things like 'learning' or 'education'. His classroom was small and stuffy, with fifteen other kids all packed in a room with ten seats. Li I had been made to sit on the floor after Lee had pushed him off his chair. The brown rabbit was about to hit the white rabbit, when their teacher had walked into class._

 _She was a bitch, and not only because she was a female dog. She had come in, shouting for silence, before arranging the seating plan. Li I had been put in the back of the class, behind a fat pig with a cast on his right arm. He seemed alright, but was too quiet for Li's liking, and refused to pick up on any strands of conversation Li tried and failed to start.  
_

 _The rabbit raced into the small, but thankfully not cramped playground at the back of the school. It was plain, with a small sand pit, a single swing made up of a cart wheel, and the rest was just grass. The sun was shining brightly, and Li soon decided that despite the fact that school was soon going to be the death of him, the playground itself wasn't to blame._

 _He let his feet feel the soft grass beneath them as he walked, his arms hanging loosely at his side. This was the life, no worries, just grass and sunshine. And his dad was walking towards him and then-_

 _"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you !" The sound of jeering was soon picked up with Li's incredibly strong ears. The rabbit turned to see the pig he had been sitting next to, surrounded by what seemed like half the school._

 _"B-but you can't give me birthday beats, my arm's broken." The pig said weakly, the argument and the pig himself were both shoved roughly._

 _"Then I'll just hit your other arm."_

 _"But then you'll break that too."_

 _"Your arm not mine."_

 _Li sighed, bullying. The orphanage had warned him about staying away from it in general, but he knew that his dad would never have stood idly by and watch as an innocent law abiding citizen was suffering._

 _Li raced into the crowd, shoving aside several of the other children, with surprising speed and strength for someone so small and young. He would stop this bullying if his life depended on it, and then the pig's family would adopt him, and then his dad would find out and come running !_

 _"Are you idiots blind as well as stupid ? It's not his birthday, it's mine !"_

 _Instantly the pig was pushed to the side and his arms were the new targets._

 _"One, two three.."_

 _"Seven, eight nine..."_

 _"Ten, and one more for good luck..."_

 _By the time the school bell rung Li was lying on the ground, his arms limp, his vision blurry._

 _The kids had vanished without a trace and Li was left there, alone with Peng You, the pig, but Li couldn't tell in the pain-filled condition he was at that time suffering._

 _"Er, are you okay ?" The pig asked, unsure of how to proceed._

 _"Huh ? Oh, I'm fine. Just...pain. Help me up ?"_

 _The pig grabbed Li's paw, but the rabbit winced, and pulled it away. Instead he grabbed the rabbit by the back of the neck, and with his one good arm, hoisted up the smaller mammal._

 _"Thanks by the way. For taking the hits... It was, really brave of you."_

 _"Don't worry man, it was nothing." The rabbit replied, shaking some blood into his feet.  
_

 _"So, er... do you walk home ?"_

 _"Yeah, I live in the orphanage."_

 _"Seriously ? You're an orphan."_

 _"Yeah. It's quite fun actually. Wanna play?"_

 _"Well, we, my arm's a bit." He showed off the cast once more._

 _The rabbit waved it away with a flop of his ear. "It's fine. I'll play and you can watch."_

 _And from that day onward Li I had a best friend/Accomplice/Partner-in-crime/BFF/Sidekick/Guy-who-gives-good-advice-that-is-ignored. But mostly a best friend._


	3. An Old Friend

**A/N: Hey guys. How do I put it... things are going to start slowing down really quickly. For starters I might go on my first proper vacation in two years soon, which means that unless I'm visiting a place that has wifi (unlikely) I won't be able to publish anything. If I am...well updates will still slow down anyways. Secondly I have exams... which are important unfortunately (not as important as fanfiction of course...but I can't really put the Stories of Saras on my CV can I ?). Lastly is the story itself. After all the blood and darkness of Between Brothers I need to remind myself how to write humor (something I'm not too accustomed to doing in the first place).**

 **Anyways, Enjoy.**

Li I woke up suddenly. The cracking of the wood had alerted him to the danger before it could strike, but still half-asleep and exhausted he only just managed to roll out of the way. The figure on the top bunk also woke up, from the impact of hitting the ground. Sluggishly they rose to their feet, and stumbled to the side.

Li I gazed on in horror at the destroyed bunk bed, where was he going to sleep ?

Then the sound of knocking woke him up completely. The innkeep was at the door. "What was that noise ?" He bellowed in his accent, hammering the poor wood with his hoof.

Li I's eyes widened in terror, he was already getting ripped off, and if he was forced to pay for the bunk he would have no money left to continue his journey. If he couldn't continue his journey he would have to go through another few months of saving before he could continue... and by then maybe his dad would have left, or traveled somewhere else.

Li I set his jaw, there was only one other exit, and that was the window. They were on the second floor but Li I had jumped from higher places.

"If you don't open this door I'll beat you both bloody !" The innkeep shouted out from behind the door, continuing to hammer it brutally.

At this rate he'll break the door down.

By now his roommate had opened the window.

Li I looked at him, before figuring out his intent.

The figure bent forwards, and poked his head out the window, trying to figure out what floor they were on.

Then the door finally came loose, and the innkeep began showering spit and swear words at them both, in indescirnible Japanese.

"Thanks for the room." Li I said, bowing, before giving his larger roommate a kick that sent him flying through the window, only to get stuck halfway in.

Li I sidestepped the downward swing the innkeep had thrown at him, before retaliating with a kick that caught the ox on his knee. The bovine buckled and fell, simultaneously trying to grab the rabbit's leg. Li I proved too quick and bounced backwards, before kicking against the wall to propel himself forwards. Mid air he spun, so that his feet connected hard with his roommate's but, sending him and the bear flying out the window.

The innkeep, poked his head out of the window, his eyes widening. The bear had landed on his back, and the rabbit had landed on it's stomach, which had catapulted him upwards again.

The ox's eye twitched, before bellowing so loud the whole town heard him. _"TASUKERU !"_

 _That can't be good._ Li I thought as his feet finally found the ground. And it wasn't. Another window was slammed open and the cry was echoed by it's occupant. Then another, and another, and another. Before soon 'tasukeru' was the only word Li I could hear... and he could hear it everywhere.

He began walking quickly, away from the inn, when he was grabbed from behind by a small raccoon dog, known here as the 'Nai Enchanteddo Tanuki', the regular, not magical tanuki that were incredibly common here in Japan.

Li I guessed what he was here for, and instinctively swung at him. The tanuki moved backwards, avoiding the blow, but Li had only been feinting, and the raccoon dog received a strong kick in the gut, that knocked him backwards.

Unfortunately, this alerted a small group of the tanukis to his location. Surrounding him, unarmed, but paws clenched tightly into fists. Li I grimaced. He had not expected that. _All this over a bunk bed_. True they weren't exactly menacing, but it was ten to one. One stepped forwards, and held out his fist towards Li.

"This town is under the protection of the Otsukaru Cl-"

Li cut him off with an uppercut that sent the raccoon dog reeling. Another tanuki swung, but he ducked under it, and back handed him across the face. Li then twisted, taking the raccoon dog with him, throwing him into one of his comrades. The tanuki he had just uppercut came back with a swing that missed pitifully. Li I responded by twisting behind him, and pulling his pants down, before tugging hard, and forcing the raccoon to kiss the ground.

Three down. Two came at him at once, with a kick and a punch respectively. Li I dodged both in quick succession, before pulling off one of their belts. The tanuki he did this to grabbed hold of his pants, only for him and his comrade to be whipped across the face.

Li I dropped the belt and crossed his arms. "Are you really going to waste time I could spend sleeping trying to beat me up because a moldy bunk bed got broken ?"

The remaining five tanuki shared a look, clearly none of them had understood a word he had said. Apparently, only their leader had known Chinese.

Li I stomped his foot on the ground impatiently. It didn't occur to him that they couldn't understand anything he said in his mother tongue. "Well ! Don't you lot have anything to say for yourselves !?"

Again they shared a look and blinked in confusion.

Li I barged past them. "Don't start a fight if you're going to be too scared to end it !" He yelled back at them as he walked away angrily.

One of them charged as his back was turned but the bear from earlier grabbed them and tossed them towards the remaining tanuki, who leapt to the side to avoid their comrade.

Li I meanwhile was ranting. "I didn't even break the bed, that was the bear, but of course _I'm_ going to get blamed for it, because _I'm_ the foreigner, not the _bear_."

Another tanuki swung at the bear's belly, the ursine tensed and let the raccoon dog's fist slam into his muscles. The smaller mammal's shriek of pain was cut short when the bear knocked him away with an effortless slap. Three tanuki remained.

"Like, it was an old bunk ! It was squeaking when I got on, and I only weigh a couple of ke !"

Two tanuki charged as one, and punched the bear's belly simultaneously, the ursine grabbed their paws and threw them onto his stomach, un-tensing at the same time, causing the two mammals to go flying backwards. One tanuki was left.

"Then again, the bed itself looked really out of date. Maybe if this country has a legal system I could sue the innkeep."

The tanuki darted forwards and tried to kick the bear inbetween the legs. Fear caused him to hesitate, and in that moment of hesitation the bear was able to grab the tanuki by the head and send him flying into the inn via a now-broken window.

That was when Li I turned around. It took one second for recognition to hit him. "Kunjingle !" He dashed forwards and leapt into the air, to wrap the far larger mammal in a hug around the neck. Unfortunately he fell short and was forced to try and hug the bear's belly, which was too large for him to get his arms around. Slowly but surely he was slipping down.

Kunjingle was a large bear, with light brown fur all over, save for his chest, where he had a patch of golden fur, shaped like the sun. He was a sun bear, with warm purple eyes, and a belly to boast about. He wore a golden belt, and dark purple pants that matched his eyes. He also wore a somewhat goofy smile.

"So, er, how have you been ?" Li I said, trying to start a conversation.

Kunjingle responded with a grunt, followed by two clicks, another grunt, and a whistle.

"No way !" Li I exclaimed, landing on his feet, having finally lost his grip on the bear's stomach.

Kunjingle nodded in response, while Li's jaw dropped. Then the bear whistled thrice, snapped his fingers, and clapped his paws.

"Nah, I'm just looking for my dad." Li said, waving away the statement. "It's nice to see you though ! You've grown...bigger."

He hadn't really grown bigger, wider would have been the more accurate, albeit ruder way of putting it.

Kunjingle waved a paw at that, before grunting again.

"Nah, don't worry big boy, stick with me and you'll get right back into shape." Li I slapped his paw against Kunjingle's belly, but the bear had tensed just before, making Li's paw feel like he had just slapped a brick wall for no reason.

Kunjingle tilted his head to the side, before nodding and whistling.

Li I's face spread into an ecstatic grin. "Yes ! Thanks Jingle, it means a lot !"

The bear lifted the rabbit unto his shoulders. Before the two of them walked off into the sunrise.

* * *

 _Footnote: A ke by the way is a gram in Chinese.  
_

 _I'll leave it up to you to decide what Kunjingle was saying, it's funnier that way :)  
_

 _And we have now introduced our deutargonist. KUNJINGLE ! GIVE IT UP FOR THE BIG BEAR ! XD_

 _Anyways, that's all I really have to say. Update soon._


	4. A Vomit-Inducing Inspection

**A/N: My present condition prevents me from writing any LOOOONG character descriptions up here, but I don't feel they're necessary yet. And I cant write anything above 2K words, which suits BitDtT less than this. So JtJ is getting it's chance to shine. Enjoy.**

 _"LIIIIIIII !" The scream echoed across the orphanage. Mung was the orphanage's cook. A good chef and a nice guy most of the time, but if there's one thing he hated it was kids robbing his kitchens. Which happened a lot. "That does it ! What the fuck did you fucking want with my fucking bananas !" He screamed, entirely unaware that the whole orphanage was staring at him. Then he remembered that the orphanage was under inspection that day. "Heh heh, whoops. So er I'll just like er go away now and, look over there." He pointed a paw at the sun and made a break for it, the little rat disappearing behind a pillar._

 _The inspector wrote a note on a piece of paper he was holding. "Rude, round rat as chef. Suggested appointment of new kitchen staff." He finished and looked disappointed at Mrs Yang. "And who was he looking for ?"_

 _Mrs Yang was at a loss. She hadn't seen the bunny since last night's incident. "Um, we don't have a Li." She replied._

* * *

 _A sack of bananas flew over the gates and landed at Peng You's feet. The pig looked up to see Li's familiar buck-toothed grin popping over the gate and landing besides him."I thought today was orphanage inspection." Peng You said._

 _Li sighed, the sole problem his best friend had was an apparent inability to break rules of any kind. Or at least, not until after Li I talked him into it._

 _"Peng, pengy pengy Peng, Fidget will cover for me and Mrs Yang won't miss me when this baby gets a distinction. Besides, Mung will never know what happened to his bananas and my smoothies will become so famous my dad will come all the way here just to taste it and then he'll see me selling them and take me back home."_

 _Peng was quite used to his rabbit friend's complex plans by now. "OK, sounds good ._ _How exactly are you going to get back in ?"_

 _Li brushed away the question. "I'll think of something and you'll try and talk me out of it, but I'll do it anyways. You know, the usual."_

 _"The usual ends with one of us getting hurt."_

 _"No it does not." Li scoffed, lugging off the sack of bananas that was bigger than even him._

* * *

 _An hour later, at the orphanage Mrs Yang had her hooves full._

 _The children had stayed nice and been good until Mung hit the gong for breakfast. Then the usual hussle and bussle was increased ten fold. Mung, in an attempt to save his job had pulled out all the stops and created a banquet fit for kings, until the children got their paws on it._

 _The orphanage had five mess halls, one for each section. And all were in total chaos. The inspector had never seen more violent children in his entire life. But the pinaccle of chaos reigned in the Fire Section._

 _The lemon dumplings that had once stood proud in a mighty pyramid was already in ruins. Mung was wailing in the corner. Lee and Fidget, a grey bat with more scars, cuts and bruises than your average Imperial Army General, were having a tug of war over Gongmen's famous Sweet and Spicy noodles. Flower, a skunk that stunk worse than a public latrine, was the only quiet one, though he was eyeing the chaos almost wistfully, as though he longed to join in and do his bit._

 _The inspector tut-tutted disappointedly. Mrs Yang however wasted no time in bringing back order._

 _"SILENCE !" Suddenly everyone seemed to remember their manners, Mung serving Flower a large portion of Bean buns. Lee kindly offering Fidget the noodles they had been arguing over a second ago, with the bat refusing with EVEN MORE practiced politeness._

 _"They were merely a little excited." Mrs Yang said curtly, covering up the mess as best she could. "Would you like some breakfast ?"_

* * *

 _"This isn't working is it ?" Li said, dismally eyeing the pot of vomit-inducing banana flesh._

 _"Well we had one customer." Peng you pointed out._

 _"Yeah, I'm sure my dad will hear about my amazing evil-seeking banana juice. It makes only the most fiendish puke in revolt."_

 _Peng you blinked, somehow Li's enthusiasm never seemed to end._

 _"But Suna doesn't have many villains." Li continued. "And I gotta get back for some lunch."_

 _"What do we do with this ?" Asked Peng you, indicating the unsuccessful, apparently truth seeking banana smoothie._

 _"Hmm, we can't leave it here, and if I take it back Mung will know I was in his kitchen. Ill have to dispose of the evidence. Help me up ?"_

 _Peng you let Li hop onto his back. "What exactly are you doing ?"_

 _"GERONIMO !" Li jumped into the pot._

* * *

 _The inspection hadn't gone any better. Mung had served several lemon dumplings, salvaged from the floor, to the inspector._

 _"Hmm, language is a bit off, but I must say you can cook." The inspector complemented._

 _"Why thank you," Mung said, glad that it looked like he still had a job. "Lemon Dumplings are a specialty of mine."_

 _The inspector threw up, all over the poor rat. "Sorry. It's just lemons. I'm... Allergic."_

 _The rat ignored him and seemed to swell in anger. "You motherfucker ! I have never been more fucking insulted in my entire fucking life !"_

 _He pounced and bit into stork leg. The inspector leapt up and hollered. The children all turned and started laughing. Until Mrs Yang silenced them with a look, before deftly ripping Mung off of the inspector._

 _The rat was calmed by a slap across the face. Mrs Yang then examined the leg._

 _"It's just a scratch." She said, trying to calm the stork._

* * *

 _Li was dizzy. His belly had bloated and he was covered in banana snoothie. He and Peng you hobbled along to the orphanage wall. Li shook his head, to try and clear the dizziness._

 _"Peng you, this situation calls for operation catapult."_

 _"But you ended up sleeping on the roof last time."_

 _"... It wasn't that bad, and it would explain why I wasn't here this morning."_

 _Peng you sighed. Noone could talk Li out of anything._

* * *

 _"Sir you really shouldn't scream so much. The last person that bit me gave me this." Fidget hoisted his peg leg up for the stork to see. The avian snapped under the impression that Fidget's injury had happened in the orphanage itself_

 _"This facility is getting shut down. These children deserve better ! As for the rat, I will be reporting him to my superiors. Good day !" With that the stork left the mess._

 _Lee gave chase. "Wait mister, you can't close the orphanage. It's our home !"_

 _The stork turned to reply but a banana coated brown bunny crash-landed into his head._

 _Li rose to his feet, and vommited half digested banana smoothie all over Lee._

 _The rabbit was too stunned to do anything other than blink. Li on the other hand noted all the people staring at him. "What did I do ?"_


	5. A Bit of Good News

**A/N: Don't you love short chapters ? I know I do ! Again on Li's past, but that's what I feel like writing these days. It feels more vacation-ey.**

 _Li and Mung sat in chairs opposite Mrs Yang. They had washed thoroughly, and had been called up immediately after._

 _The Inspector had been knocked out and placed into a comma, that had been an accident, but Li was also informed by Fidget that to some extent he had saved the orphanage. As such the young rabbit found it quite unfair that he was now getting punished._

 _"And what on earth were you using the bananas for?" She asked._

 _Li stammered. Any mention of getting his father's attention would land him in trouble, just like it had for the last seventy nine times. "I was hungry."_

 _Mrs Yang facepalmed. "And how on earth did you end up flying into him?" She asked rubbing tired eyes that had seen it all before._

 _"Er... bananas make me gassy."_

 _Mung chortled. Mrs Yang sighed._

 _"And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me the truth." The old sheep sighed again. "Li, I asked the villagers, you and Peng you were doing the usual. And now you could have cost us the orphanage."_

 _Li gulped._

 _"People don't stay in comas forever. And when he wakes up you can expect him to be livid."_

 _Li looked down cast, Suna couldn't close the orphanage, could it?_

 _The sheep looked him right in the eye. "I'm warning you, step out of line one more time and then it's over for sure, do you understand?"_

 _Li gulped. He nodded wearily. Mrs Yang motioned for him to leave. And left he did. He walked away slowly, his sad face pointing down at the ground as he hobbled along to his room._

 _Mrs Yang then turned on Mung. "Right. We're not loosing this facility. So, any ideas?"_

 _"Well...we could start packing now and make a break for it with the kids?"_

 _"That's ridiculous."_

 _"You're right. We'd never beat the Imperial Army in a race."_

 _Mrs Yang's eyes widened. "That's it! A charity race! It would be like an open inspection, everyone will come! And then if all goes well everyone will see that we're doing a great job!" Mrs Yang got to work immediately._

 _Li flopped onto his bed. His room was an utter mess. Junk littred the floor, and the wall was covered in darts, from his time as Suna's Junior Dart Throwing Champion. His bed was also littred, but with scrunched up pieces of paper, where in an untidy scrawl and splodges of ink he dared call art, he had thought up all his plans. He threw the blanket and the paper off of his bed and flopped onto it. He sighed. They wouldn't close the orphanage. They couldn't, not so quickly anyways. Surely there had to be some kind of legal system._

 _He heard a tapping at his window and looked to the side to see Peng you dangling from his window sill. The rabbit hopped over, opened the window and helped pull in the pig._

 _His normally light shade of pink had gone red from the effort of climbing up the orphanage wall. He wore a scarf, made by his mother, striped pink and blue. His clothes were plain. Green shirt, blue pants. There was nothing that really stood out about Peng you, except perhaps his black as night ears, but Li was used to that by now._

 _Then the door swung open and Fidget limped in. He was an orphan for the same reason he had a peg leg, criminals didn't make good parents. Although technically his species should have been capable of flight one of his wings was in tatters, with massive gaping holes where his thin skin had ripped off. One of his ears also had a hole in them. His last scar was his grimmest, a long black line straight down his right eye. He was pug ugly as well, with a flat face and two sharp fangs that stuck out from his jaws. Still he dressed to impress, with a large shirt buttoned down the middle, with several stripes of pink and purple. Finally he wore a set of baggy purple pants._

 _"Wasssssssuaaaaaaah!" He said, entering and tripping over a member of Li's junk hoard._

 _"Hey Fidget", Peng You greeted._

 _The bat grinned from ear to ear, flashing several missing teeths._

 _"Master Pig, how you been?"_

 _Li didn't get the reference. "Master?"_

 _"Didn't he tell you? He started doing Kung Fu down at the Jadr Palace."_

 _Li's eyes widened. "You're getting taught Kung Fu? By Master Oogway himself?"_

 _Peng You rolled his eyes. "My dad took me to a couple of classes. NOT Oogways. How do you know anyways?"_

 _Fidget grinned again. "The ladies at the Water section love spreading news. And I'm all ears."_

 _Fidget was Li's friend. Not best friend. Not close friend. Just friend. But that was the same with most of the children at the orphanage. Fidget was everyone's friend. He spread gossip like wildfire-and everyone loves gossip. He had charm and he had been through more than most animals ever would go through. He had nearly been adopted thrice, and had been once...until he started sweet talking his adoptive sister. That had seen his return to Suna's orphanage._

 _"So, Li I heard Mrs Yang chewed you out. I heard she was angry at you for almost making this place get terminated. But that's Mung's fault as well, that stupid fat rat. You should have seen him at breakfast."_

 _Peng you flopped onto the bed next to Li. "I told you it was a bad idea."_

 _"Now Mrs Yang wants me on my best behaviour," said Li with a sigh._

 _"It's not all bad. Mrs Yang is arranging a race, a public performance of some kind. To raise money for other orphanages... and make this one look good."_

 _Li's eyes widened. "A race? I'm sick at running !" He then hopped onto his feet, bouncing Peng you off his bed and raising a fist into the air. "I'LL WIN THIS RACE AND THEN EVEN THE EMPEROR WILL RESPECT ME! THEN MY DAD WILL COME RUNNING AND TAKE ME BACK HOME !"_

 _Fidget blinked. "Right. By the way Lee wants your guts."_

 _"Why ?" Peng you and Li asked simultaneously._

 _Fidget frowned then grinned again showing off the gaps in his teeth. "Dude, you puked on him."_


	6. The Twins of the Road

**A/N: Things get a bit grimmer here. Hung and Hung belong to VoreLover360. Han's childhood is something else I'm gonna be developing, and maybe even Kunjingles XD. So any chapter that starts with 'There' is a chapter about Han Guan's past.**

Badr observed the tanukis. Knocked out or dazed. This was the work of someone who could fight. He grinned, clearly he was on the right trail.

"Guan ask them who was responsible for this."

The wolverine obeyed immediately with a long drawn out slur of Japanese, Badr was certain the wolverine was exagerating.

Han Guan then translated the tanuki's dazed reply. "Mr. Badr-sama, tanuki-san says that it was a rabbit-kun who took out the entire group."

Then another tanuki barked out more Japanese. "That tanuki-san says it was done by a bear-san."

Badr nodded. "Tell them that I will bring justice to this country, and make those that break its laws suffer in the deepest and darkest pit in hell. Tell them that I, Badr Tamod will vanquish their enemies, and unite the world in peace and friendship."

Han Guan said a two words of Japanese and then walked away.

Badr followed. "Never fear, I will bring justice to this world."

"What a crazy cat." One of the tanukis whispered to another in Japanese.

* * *

"And then we're gonna have a lot of catching up to do. And I'm going to tell him all about Mung, and the bananas, and Lee and Flower and Mrs Yang and Fidget and... Peng you and... Shifty and you and Lang and Jiao'ao and Dianbo and Reidak and Babirasu and and and... It's just gonna be great !"

Kunjingle grunted. Then followed up with a squeal and a giggle and a grunt.

"Yeah", Li I agreed. "We're definetly doing that."

The bear made a noise somewhat akin to a whimper.

"...I wish Han was here too. I miss that guy."

The pair's conversation was brought to a halt by the sound of several battlecries. Well two.

From one side of the road came a fat little badger, only a head taller than Li. From the other side of the road came another. Identical one. They were pear shaped, fat, with light brown fur. Down their backs was a long white stripe. They each wore nothing but a pair of what appeared to be diapers. Li I leapt into the air to avoid their twin belly slam, which sent them hurtling away from each other, and back into opposite sides of the road. Li I blinked, and landed safely. "What strange creatures."

The twins leapt out in front of them and did a lot of exagerated screaming of Japanese words. Li I blinked, Kunjingle's jaw dropped.

"Er, we don't speak Japanese..." He said wearily, hoping they would understand him.

The badgers paused, turned away from them, bent low and began discussing in low voices. Then they turned in the spot and repeated their long-winded monologue in perfect Chinese.

"Thou art foolish villains ! Trethpassing the famed forest of Hung and Hung !"

"It is by the name Hung that I am known !"

"And I Hung !"

Then they continued in the same voice. "Unless thy wants a fate worse than death thy shalt pay a toll on the roll at the very minute of this very hour !"

Li I blinked again but Kunjingle merely shoved past the pair of them. The rabbit followed suite, but was halted by the pair.

"Kunjingle !" Li yelled like it was some magic word. Indeed it was for the weight of the bear fell upon the twins as the sun bear sat down.

Li stuck his tongue out at the pair and walked around Kunjingle. The bear stood up and walked forwards, leaving the badgers dumbstruck and flattened.

* * *

Han Guan trudged slowly along, deep in thought. This whole land seemed de-ja-voe to him. But he couldn't put his claw on it. Had he been here before ? He couldn't remember. All of his memories were with the Thing or Li II, before that all he could remember was pain...a lot of pain. And if he ever tried to see beyond that all he got was even more pain. He sighed, he would never know. But he wanted to know. Why did he feel pain whenever he disobeyed Badr, why did it feel like his soul was leaving him whenever the cat was angry at him ? Why was there a voice saying something undiscernible in the back of his head ? He sighed again, he would probably never know the answer to those either. He was stolen from his thoughts by a pair of pear-shaped badgers charging towards him. They were both fat and wore the garb of a sumo wrestler. The Thing was the first to react, swinging it's mettalic claws at the pair of them. It missed and the Thing was sent flying into Badr due to the twin's momentum. Han Guan extended his claws and swung, his claws dragging through fat to draw blood. The sumo leapt back suddenly, as realization hit him.

"Hung, it's Han Guan."

The other badger stared wide eyed at the wolverine.

They stood staring at him for half a second before memories hit them and they started laughing.

"Do you remember-"

"When he asked Nikiimi-"

"Nikishiro-"

"About how to-"

"Climb a tree-"

"And then Katsuga-"

"Kishuna threw-"

"Him up one-"

"And he was-"

"Too-"

"Scared-"

"To get down !" Their laughing continued and shook the forest.

"And then his mum-"

"Had to-"

"SHUT UP !" Something inside Han didn't like this, deep down Han could feel the pain, not the Pain of Disobedience, not the Pain of Death. The type of pain that hurt the most, the one that hurt the heart. Tears ran down his eyes as memories hit him hard. Memories that belonged to someone else. Someone long since dead.

The children were laughing. All around him they were laughing. Pointing and laughing at the Tail of House Guan. Han Guan didn't want to cry, but he felt his eyes watering. Laughter hurt. It hurt a lot. And he was scared. He couldn't let go even if he wanted to. His claws were stuck to the tree, and he was scared, he couldn't fall, he hated falling, he couldn't look down. And the laughing didn't stop.

Han came back to his senses, his paws were covered in blood, the twins were whimpering. Han pulled himself away, breathing heavily. Li II was eyeing him with...was that fear ? The Thing had no emotions and Badr looked approvingly at the wolverine's blood soaked paws. The black cat approached the wolverine and put a paw on his shoulder, it was tight, and brought Han back to his senses entirely. The wolverine began whimpering, as if in fear of himself, but that was slapped out of him by Badr. The black cat leaned in close and whispered into Han's ear, and the wolverine smiled, his head filled with his happiest thoughts.

Badr then continued walking the direction Li I and Kunjingle must have taken. Li II and the Thing followed suite. Han Guan's tongue lolled out of his jaws. He felt so dopey as he followed their footsteps. For the first time in his entire life, the only emotion Han Guan had was happiness.


	7. A Kung Fu Club

**A/N: And another prequel chapter. It's just I have all the prequels planned, not all the sequels. But I'll soon have to take a break from all this prequel stuff. And write a bit more sequel stuff. Enjoy.**

 _Li was exhausted. He collapsed onto his bed, not even bothering to throw off the junk. A month had passed since he had been forced into being a goody two-shoes. The race was in three months time, when the Inspector was due to wake up. Li had gone out of his way to guarantee a victory. He was the fastest in the orphanage, but could only keep it up for so long. He couldn't keep it up for half a li, let alone the twenty he had to go through. The race started at one end of Suna, mid way was the orphanage where one could, if desired take a break._

 _He couldn't run twenty li. He couldn't keep going forever. He would have half a li's headstart on everyone else but still end up last, which was saying a lot because Fidget only had one leg. He heard tapping at his windiow and saw Peng you standing on his window sill, a bit wobbly but considering Li couldn't even reach the window sill it was enough to impress the bunny. Peng you must have had a very good teacher. The pig could climb most trees as well as a squirrel. Li hopped off his bed and opened the window to his friend, only for Peng you to fall on him. Fidget then let_ _himself in from the door. He saw Li's ears sticking out from under Peng you and grinned._

 _"I'm not interrupting anything, am I ?" He asked. taking his seat on Li's bed._

 _"Nothing." Came Li's muffled voice from under Peng you._

 _"Good." Said Fidget. "So Li, how's your racing going ?"_

 _Peng you rolled off of Li, and the bunny looked grim. "Don't even ask. I can't run twenty li to save my tail, let alone this place. I just can't do it !" With a frustrated sigh, Li hopped onto his bed, bouncing Fidget off of it. "If only there was a way."_

 _Peng you hopped onto the bed as well, bouncing Li I off of it, the bunny landing on Fidget. "You should try Kung Fu." The pig suggested._

 _"Bless you." Fidget and Li both said, picking themselves up from the tapish of junk._

 _"No, Kung fu. The thing I do."_

 _"Ooooooh yeah, I forgot you were Master Pig. You still take classes ?" Fidget asked, tripping and falling on his ass against the floor._

 _Li cut short Peng you's reply. "Kung Fu is a way to kick butt, not run twenty li. I think I'll pass."_

 _"Kung Fu is not a way to kick butt !" Peng you replied indigantly. The bat and the bunny gave him a look. "Well it's not only a way to kick butt. It helps with everything. How do you think I climbed onto the window sill ?"_

 _Li hopped over and peered out the window. He was on the second floor..._

 _"I reckon it's worth a shot li. I mean if they taught fatty to climb, teaching you to run should be a piece of cake !" And it was Fidget's last sentence that changed the course of Li's life, forever_.

 _The Kung Fu Club was unimpressive. It stood in a back alley of a back street. It was irrelevant, almost entirely so. And Li knew the moment he entered that he had made a mistake. It stunk. The teacher must have been a chain smoker, as the cloud of tabbaco that greeted him said. Li began coughing, his eyes wattering. Still it had made the unimpressive Peng you a master of breaking and entering. Peng you had been excited by the prospect, and had then, uncharacteristically began showing off. He was the best student, he had said. But now Li realized that his friend had been telling the truth. He was the only student. The whole place was empty. It was illuminated by a few torches, sandalwood incense and a small, dismal fireplace. The door opened behind them. Li turned and saw an equally bewildered Flower staring right back at him._

 _"What are you doing here ?" They asked simultaneously, before following up with the standard, "I asked you first !" Also simultaneously._

 _Then Li turned to Peng you. "You never told me Flower did Kung Fu."_

 _"You never told me who Flower was." Peng you replied. "And he doesn't come here for Kung Fu, he takes the cookery classes. "_

 _"What cookery classes ? You can cook ?"_

 _Flower turned pink, thinking it was a compliment not a question._

 _Flower was an outcast. He stunk so hard most people avoided him, and therefore Li knew little about him. Li had always been too busy looking for his father to consider the skunk, clad in dark green, with a thin black star etched onto his shirt. He was white everywhere, save for a thick black stripe going down the tip of his snout, and ending at the tip of his tail. His arms were also striped black, though it was thin._

 _Li also noted that he couldn't smell Flower, though that was probably because the room was thick with tobacco._

 _Then the cookery teacher and Kung Fu Master walked in._

 _Mung's eyes widened. The small brown rat was fat and round. And wore only a set of small but baggy pants. Currently his black eyes were looking right into Li's reflective ones._

 _"What are you doing here !?" They bellowed, suddenly face to face, what with Mung hopping onto a stool for extra height._

 _Then they both rounded on Peng you._

 _"You didn't tell me your teacher was Mung !" Li cried out._

 _"I thought it was another Mung." Peng you said defensively._

 _"You didn't tell me your friend was Li !" Mung criticized._

 _"Yes I did !" Peng you replied indignantly._

 _"Oh, er-well I thought it was another Li !" Mung replied, as if trying to change the subject._

 _To be continued..._


	8. The Spy and the Old Woman

**A/N: Another short chapter ! Yay ! Hurah ! Danzaburo Danaki belongs to Berserker88. Enjoy !**

Danzaburo Danaki meditated on the branch of an oak. He was on the border of a town, hidden amongst red-orange leaves of autumn, one of the few places he could wear his original form in peace. He was a small creature, who's arms and legs were entirely black, despite his predominantly brown fur. He had a black mask of fur over his eyes, and his tail as well was striped black and brown. He wore a black conical hat on the top of his head, which matched the black of his pants. From the side of his mouth hung a leaf. Finally he wore a sleeveless jacket, with the kanji of mimicry etched into the back.

He was in short, a shapeshifting spy. He was the Spy of a Thousand Scents, the one responsible for practically every bit of info Japan had taken from China. And he was bored. There was little to do here, and even less to meditate on.. Life was complicated like that.

He heard talking, which he recognized to be local bandits. Often he would come to them in a new form, just to tempt the fools into attacking him. It had been funny the first few times, but they were no longer even a minor threat. Their fighting pattern waa repetitive and boring. Danzaburo had once took them all out with a branch, while reading about his latest mission, and that had been in mouse form. He heard a grunt of pain, and with mild curiousity poked his-now reptilian (you could never be too careful)-head out from amongst the leaves.

It wasn't anymore the bandits he cared about. But rather their intended targets. One was a brown bear, patches of golden yellow fur on his chest giving the appearance of a sun. The other one was a small brown rabbit, wearing the outfit of a clown. Both however were more then competent enough to take out the bandits with ease. Danzaburo was surprised when the bear did nothing and let an ox hit him on the chest with an axe, only for the axe to snap at the handle and the blade to plummet-dented-onto the ground. The bear replied with a bitch slap that sent the ox hurtling through the air and crashing through several trees. The rabbit however didn't let himself get hit. He dodged their attacks and stuck darts on their butts from point blank range. Clearly ge had little honour. But for a while Danzaburo was entertained, watching the happless bandits get pummelled by practitioners of what he suspected was Kung Fu, although both were styles he had never seen before. The tanuki enjoyed a trick the rabbit did with his fan to get his opponents looking right up at the sun without knowing it. He also liked how the bear rebounded a punch from fat alone. Soon however the bandits were all dispatched, lying dazed on the ground. But the tanuki was most interrsted by what the rabbit said next.

"I don't care about the inn ! It was a moldy bunk bed and you should be glad I got rid of it for you !"

Danzaburo wanted to laugh. The rabbit didn't know a word of Japanese, and the bandits didn't know any Chinese either. But that interested him more. One, probably two fighters of Chinese origin had come here to Japan. Of course seeing someone Chinese in Japan wasn't wholly uncommon, but rarely did warriors come here. Deciding that it would probably be more entertaining following them around, Danzaburo ducked behind the leaves.

* * *

They were lost, but at least not in the middle of nowhere. It was a town, and if not for the constant sound of Japsnese that met his ears Li I would have thought it to be China. The stalls were there, the rice hats, the lanterns that hung from houses. People ate noodles, dumplings and bean buns, like in China. The girls waved air into their faces with intricately decorated fans.

Li I realized with a sinking feeling in his gut, that finding his father here would be no easier than in China. In fact it would be even harder.

Kunjingle made a noise between a cough and a grunt and Li nodded.

"Yeah, we could use a map." He agreed. But who amongst these sprawling pile of people would understand him, or have what he needed ?

Suddenly any laughter in the street died down and as if a funeral was in mid-procession, the people made way.

The wolverine was old, with white tips to her otherwise jet black fur. Her eyes were covered with a patterned shawl that matched kimono in colour and design. It was blue, with pink dots all over. The old lady hobbled along, tapping at the ground with a blind stick.

The crooked wood found Kunjingle's nose and buried itself inside it. The bear was perplexed, and the wood drawn out. It then proceeded to tap him all over, getting a measure of the bear's width and height. Then the stick found Li I and she proceeded to search him in the same way, tapping along at his feet, ears, arms and legs, while the whole town watched on, and the rabbit continued looking confused. Kunjingle's purple eyes were narrowed however, as if in recognition.

Then words of Japanese came, but Li didn't understand them. There was something familiar about her. Something de-ja-vou. She barked again in Japanese, but the pair were still deep in thought. Then another villager spoke for them. Li I recognized one word. 'Guan'.

"You're Han Guan's mother." He blurted out in Chinese.

All eyes widened at the mention of that name. The town was silent again.

"How come to that name ?" The elderly wolverine asked, her voice controlled, her accent thick.

"He's our friend." Li replied, the town's aura of fear affecting him as well.

Then the wolverine barked an order, and another younger wolverine came. He bowed low to them. "I am to escort you both to our estate. Please follow me."

Li blinked. He wanted to refuse-his quest and all... but Miss Guan deserved to know what happened to her son. He nodded, and he and Kunjingle followed the wolverine, while Miss Guan hobbled away tapping with her stick. The town seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and then slowly went back to normal.

* * *

Danzaburo cocked his head to the side. Someone had earned the closest thing to affection the head of Clan Guan had shown in years. He followed after the bear and the rabbit from the treetops. This was indeed proving interesting.


	9. The Room Full of Memories

"So you're Han's cousin or uncle or ?" Li I asked, trying to start a conversation with the Wolverine leading them to what he assumed was the Guan Clan's place of residence.

The Wolverine scoffed. "There are many Han's in this world. If you are referring to Miss Guan's son, then to me he is nothing more than a cowardly bastard." He said it so bluntly that it hurt. Li would have noted his impeccable Chinese, but was too angry to note down anything. That and he didn't have paper.

"Han Guan is not a cowardly bastard ! He took a katana to the stomach to save a friend." Han had died of a katana wound, but Li I had made up the other details, he hadn't been there when the wolverine kicked the bucket. "He dressed up as a Geisha to save a girl he didn't even like ! He kicked ass and would be kicking yours too if he hadn't-"

The wolverine silenced him. "You don't know my cousin as well as me. We are of age. In school, in town everyone knew he was a stupid child. He would always cause troubles. He brought shame to our clan -

"Shut up ! You have no idea what he did !"

"And you do ? He left my brother a cripple ! Because he was too scared to do anything about a fucking crocodile !"

Li felt his paws clench into fists. No one made fun of his friends while he was around. His fist was about to connect with the wolverine's ugly, angry face, but he found that Kunjingle's own had already connected and sent the filthy mammal flying.

The wolverine crashed into a tree, but got up quickly, drawing a katana from his back, hissing in rage. "You're just like Han, too scared to fight fair are we ?"

Li charged at him, drawing his fan and expanding it behind him. He was about to throw forth a volley of darts, but he was stopped when he found a long wooden stick connecting with his gut, and knocking the wind out of him. He dropped the fan and tried to catch his breath. He looked up in time to see Miss Guan in all her polka dots, whacking the other wolverine on the head, with the same stick she had just used to deal with him. She was also shouting Japanese at him like there was no tomorrow, and sent him away with his tail between his legs. Then she turned to Li and Kunjingle.

"It is unwise to flaunt my son's glories. Here he is known as Akuto."

Li did not know what Akuto meant, but judging from everything he knew about the wolverine, it wasn't a compliment. Then he felt more anger rising in him. "That's your fault ! You're a shitty mother ! You didn't love your own so-" He found the stick connect with his stomach again.

" _Don't_ you _dare_ say I never loved him !" Then she relaxed a bit. "I will admit I was not the greatest mother, but you will have nothing to hold against me when you come inside. Please, follow me."

* * *

The thick, sweet, creamy jelly that had made Han Guan so happy, disappeared after a short while, leaving the wolverine with the thought of the two laughing badgers, laughing and pointing, in his head. He walked sullenly behind his companions, his head pointed down at the ground, his expression blank. He didn't know what to feel. Was he meant to be happy that someone remembered him ? What were those memories, and why couldn't he remember them ? And why was there something gnawing at the back of his head, something he couldn't quite place.

He felt Li II staring up at him.

"Wakey wakey ! Japan to Han Guan, do you copy ?"

"Shut up ! I need to think ?" The wolverine barked.

Li II of course, didn't listen. "Aw, do you need some alone time ? And since when could you think ? I admit, I thought you were incapable of it."

Han Guan tried to ignore him. This only provoked Li II further.

"Han Guan, you really need to-"

"You !" Both Li II and Han Guan turned at the sound, though Badr walked on, oblivious. Han Guan turned and found himself staring at a wolverine, one who held a katana in his paw, which was currently being pointed at him.

Han Guan pointed a finger at himself, and with a nervous gulp replied. "Me ?"

"Yes you !" The wolverine barked, glaring daggers.

Li II pointed up at Han. "Him ?"

"Yes him !" The wolverine barked again.

Then Badr Tamod noticed the commotion, and strolled between the katana wielding wolverine and Han Guan. "Is there a problem ?"

"It has nothing to do with you, _kitty_ ! This feud is between _me_ , and _him_." He spat, pointing the katana right back at Han Guan.

"What did I do ?" Han Guan asked with genuine confusion in his voice.

Then the black wolverine lost all control. " _DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME !_ " He roared, waving the katana around half-madly, half-aimed at Han.

Badr dodged and pulled Li II out of harm's way with him. Han Guan took the blow on his small, short little claws. The katana was stopped mid-swing. The black wolverine's eyes widened in amazement, then narrowed again into anger. Then he noticed the scar on Han Guan's gut, made by a long, sharp blade. _He didn't do it protecting a friend_. He thought with certainty.

* * *

Every single cupboard, bookshelf and wall, was lined with portraits, some of Miss Guan, some of other relatives, one of her father, holding her as a pup. But most were of Han Guan. There were so many pictures, and so many memories, and Li I found himself sobbing into Kunjingle's purple pants, while the bear himself lay down his own grieving. Han Guan was dead. All these pictures only served to remind them both of all their memories with him. Their short acquaintance. It had been too short. Miss Guan looked solemn, though her eyes were covered, Li I would have liked to believe that she was crying as well.

There was one small one of him as a baby, looking incredibly adorable.

"Han Guan was my only child, and ever since Han left me, he was all I ever had. But I regret to say I never showed it to him. He was a bastard. A shame to our clan, and I had to act like he was. He stopped me from pursuing my own heart. I would have been married, with more than one child, but I sold it all away for a moment's joy with a man I barely knew. And all he left me was a goodbye, and a son I never wanted."

There was one of him as a child, lying flat on the ground, his face staring up at them, his paw holding up a weak thumbs-up, while his tongue flopped out of his mouth. There was another, where he was looking uncomfortable as hell in a brand new kimono, that was all black, with the Guan Coat of Arms on his shoulder. There was another of him tripping over. Another of him looking dopey, with a black eye and a puffed up face. There was another of him getting sat on by a far larger and stronger wolverine. There was another of him sleeping with his thumb in his mouth. There was another one of him with his claws stuck into the walls, his face contorted in an attempt to free himself. There was another of him looking incredibly scared, while a grim looking grandfather held him in one paw.

Li I cried even harder, his eyes now closely resembled waterfalls. "That does not mean I never loved him. It means, I could never show him. I always hoped he would accomplish something, that way he would be looked up to by more than just his mother. That way I would face no scorn to love him."

Kunjingle lifted Li up, so that the rabbit could sob into his chest, and so that the bear could wipe his own tears on the rabbit's ears.

Then there were the more grown up pictures, but Han Guan was just as clumsy. There was one of him with a flute stuck up his nose. There was one of him with his head inside a violin. There was one of him looking ready to collapse while wearing a heavy suit of armour. There was one of him collapsing in a heavy suit of armour. There was one of him collapsed in a heavy suit of armour. There was one of him wielding a sword effortlessly. There was one of him trying to pry a sword free from a tree. There was one of a tree collapsing on him. There was one of him bashing himself with a hammer, there was one of him hitting his groin with a nun-chuk. There was one of him stuck up a tree.

"In short Han was no coward. I was. I feared scorn and shame, and so I raised him as what everyone else thought he was. A bastard. Someone unworthy of a mother's love. If he had known, perhaps he wouldn't have moved away." She let out a long, deep sigh, that spoke of years of pain.

There was one of Han Guan looking overjoyed. There was one of him sniffing a flower. There was one of him sneezing.

"You say you know him. How does he fare ?"

This was the question Li I had been dreading. It took a whole five minutes to register the question itself. Then another to think of the answer. Then he tried to tell her the truth, as bluntly as he could, but found that his throat had no more place for words.

"Well ? How is my son ?" She snapped, impatient.

Li I took a gulp of breath and lied his ass off. "He's great. We met him in a Kung Fu Tournament ! You should have seen him ! He kicked ass ! He was so strong ! And smart ! And had muscles larger than a gorilla's ! He won without competition, he stomped everyone he fought ! He was amazing, a real bada-"

"This does not sound a thing like my son." She said solemnly.

"Well, would saying that he did everything he did just so that he could come home and see you again sound like your son ? Because that's exactly what he did ! He should be back here in no time ! He just has to finish his...er world tour ! It was a massive tournament, very public ! Everyone wants more of him !"

Miss Guan would have blinked, and Li I thought she did, but couldn't tell because of the blindfold. "Are you serious ?" She asked slowly.

"You bet I'm serious ! I love that guy ! He was- is-he still is-amazing !"

"Of course." She said slowly, in total and absolute disbelief.


	10. The Orb

Han Guan was stunned. Something about the black furred wolverine reminded him of... something, but nothing _he_ ever knew. It was like he was living someone else's life. The one holding the katana towards him was someone he should have known, but at the same time did not know. Han Guan was burning with questions. Why was this whole place so familiar ? Why was it so de ja voue ? Instead he went for a plain and simple one.

"Who are you ?" He asked, almost innocently, but with an undertone that so badly craved answers.

The glare only increased a hundred-fold. "Do not _pretend_ ! You _know_ who I am _Han Guan_ and you will suffer for what you did to _my brother !_ " The wolverine swung madly, with enough force to slice Han Guan's head off. Of course Han Guan was not stupid enough to stay in it's path. Han Guan dived forwards, catching the other wolverine off guard and knocking the katana out of his grip.

The two tumbled on the ground, with the black furred wolverine's foot connecting hard with Han Guan's nose, and pushing him off. Then the black furred wolverine leapt onto Han, who had a fist ready, and punched his opponent across the face, knocking him away.

* * *

The room had gotten quiet. Kunjingle was too depressed to use his own language. Miss Guan seemed lost in her own memories. Li I was avoiding his own, and focusing purely on the silence. Some things were made to be broken, and silence was one of the many things on that list.

Li I opened his mouth to break the overwhelming quiet. Miss Guan stopped it before he could. "What brings you to Japan ?" For once Li I could note down her impeccable Chinese, her accent was perfect, she didn't even seem to use honorifics, as was typical with the Japanese accent.

For a moment Li I was stumped... if Han Guan had a dying message to tell his mother, now was the time to say it... but he couldn't say he was dead now, after all he had just lied his butt off. He went with the truth. "I'm searching for my father. He's... a rabbit-like me."

"Most of them are." She muttered. "That does not narrow down your search. Do you know what time your father came to Japan ?"

"Um... no. I'm not even sure whether he's in Japan. It's mostly a hunch."

Miss Guan would have blinked again. "So you are searching an entire _country_ , for one rabbit ? That is like finding a fish in the sea. Not as easy as you'd think. Japan is not as you Chinese have always believed- a small, irrelevant island- it has cities as large as yours, villages everywhere. Unless you have _fate_ and the _Gods_ on your side you will not find your father."

It felt like a hammer had come and crashed into his ribs, and sent a thousand pieces of splintered bone flying into his heart, but that wasn't the worst part, the worst part was that she could be right, and Li I was searching a haystack for a needle that wasn't even there.

Han Guan's mother must have realized she had hurt the rabbit, and continued more kindly. "I won't be able to narrow down your search- but I do know someone who might. She is an old friend of mine, tell her you're from me and she will help you with anything you ask."

Li I jumped at the opportunity. "Okay, take us to her and we'll be out of your fur !"

"Nothing is ever that simple. She lives many miles away, in a small, remote village called Kentikarukage. The only way you could arrive is through an Orb."

* * *

Danzaburo had lost sight of the Chinese as soon as they had gone into the Guan's grounds. He could have and would have snuck in after them, but a brawl had attracted his attention. The combatants were a pair of wolverines, one with the typical Guan black fur, and the other with a shade of brown fur. Neither seemed particularly adept at fighting, beyond throwing a couple of swings and kicking out from under them. The fight was clumsy and boring, but Danzaburo had found something else to interest him.

There was a white rabbit and a black cat with one arm, both watching the fight but taking no part in it, save for the rabbit's occasional support. Standing next to them, and radiating a strange kind of energy was what appeared to be a lion. It was pitch black all over and clad in black as well, but there was something off about it's mane. It was too spiky, almost sharp, and didn't even seem to sway like normal fur. It's back was turned to him, but Danzaburo could still recognize it's distinct lack of movement, that and it didn't appear to be breathing.

Suspicious, he decided he would need a closer look.

* * *

 _Two minutes later_

* * *

The wolverines were pulled off of each other, rather roughly, by a strong, burly ape, with a greatsword strapped to his back. "What do you pair of _numpties_ think you're doing ! Not only are you incapable of even _fighting_ like men, but you're also causing a great big _ruckuss_ ! _Do I look_ like the type of guy who enjoys his peace and quiet ? Well, _do I_ ?"

Han Guan blinked. "Um- no?" He was promptly flung into a tree.

The other wolverine however struggled in the gorilla's vice-like grip. " _Sir, this is no business of yours ! This feud is between me and that wretch !_ " All of this was shouted in Japanese.

To Han Guan's great surprise he had understood every word of it, and he replied in his own, spotless, Japanese. " _I don't even know who you are ! You just attacked me and now you're saying there's a feud ! Get off the alcohol you two-faced son of a-_ " He caught himself speaking a language he wasn't meant to know, and blinked in surprise, before looking at Badr with a look of fear and questioning mixed onto his face.

Badr stepped forwards, and put a paw to Han Guan's shoulder, before addressing the gorilla. "I'm sorry, there was a misunderstanding. It won't happen again." He was about to leave when the gorilla stopped him.

"You seem familiar ? Are you from around these parts ?"

"This is my first time in Japan. I am traveling with my close friends," He waved a paw at Li II, the Thing and Han Guan, "We are searching for a rabbit and a bear that go by the names Li I and Kunjingle. They were both wanted criminals and killed my daughter. I have come here for revenge, any help and support I receive in finding them will reap great reward."

The black furred wolverine's eyes widened. Badr noticed this.

"Any who hide them from me will suffer a fate worse than death." He said, and as expected the wolverine cracked.

"They went to Kishimiwage. It is far south from here. Up in the mountains." He blurted out. His aunt had wanted the pair for a reason. Miss Guan was the head of his clan, anything she said (that was not related to Han Guan) was law and fact, surely his aunt would not have let two murderers into her home. The lie had come easily. Kishimiwage was far away and remote. They would probably die trying to get there. And even if they arrived all they would find was Lord Kunbatsu.

Badr smiled. "Thank you for your help." This time he turned and left without interruption.

* * *

Miss Guan opened an old door that creaked to the side so loudly the whole mansion could have heard it. She lead them through the passageway it opened into, past old doors, long since locked. She reached one near the end of the hall, and put an old and rusted key into an equally old and rusted lock, she turned it once and pushed to no avail, so just rammed her shoulder into the old wood instead. Inside was an old table, coated in dust. The room was alive with cobwebs and there was a strange light coming from the object on the table.

It was an orb, and shone light blue. It was otherworldly and reminded Li I of the stories he used to be read to in the orphanage, about witches who saw the future in crystal balls.

"These Orbs are practically extinct. Many hid them away after the tanukis were cleared away, and many have never used them since. They are a form of transport. This Orb will take you to the main one in Kentikarukage, and only from that one can you return here. It only works two ways. For it to work you have to place your paws on the orb, and they will take you to the other one." Miss Guan explained.

"Wait, wait, wait hold up. I had to take a two week boat ride from China to here but there are magical balls that can take me anywhere I want at just a touch ? And this thing hasn't been commercialized because ?" Li I asked.

"Because many fear retribution for using them. The tanukis were exterminated for being a potential threat. With one of these you could transport an army anywhere. What do you think the Daimyo would do if they found out this was being used extensively ? And in secret ? And it is unwise to commercialize this, it leaves you more exhausted than a three month boat ride. Granted it will tire you less as there are two of you."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight. So I just put my paw on it, say some magic words and puff, I'm transported ?"

"No, there are no magic words, just put your paws on it."

Li I and Kunjingle did as they were bid and placed a paw each on the Orb. They could feel slow, pulsing power rising through their arms, steadily growing stronger.

Miss Guan bowed to them. "Thank you for bringing me news of my son. I hope your quest ends well."

"You're wel-" A sudden, huge pulse of power came from the orb, flashing the whole room light blue. When the blinding light disappeared Li I and Kunjingle were gone. Miss Guan walked out of the room, and closed the old door behind her. They had lied to her, that much she knew. Han Guan was too much like his father to change, Miss Guan just hoped he would come home soon.

* * *

His infiltration as the gorilla had gone smoothly. Neither party had suspected the illusion, and he was now hot on their trail, watching from the tree-tops. He had to be careful of the dead thing. The lion had not breathed up close either, and it's movements seemed almost... mechanical. The rabbit and the bear had not appeared to be murderers, they had spared the bandits, and what reason would they have to kill an old, one-armed cat's daughter ?

This whole thing was too suspicious. Danzaburo followed silently. He would get to the bottom of this.

* * *

 _Footnote: Yeah, finally a decent-sized chapter, eh ? Well this should keep you happy for now anyways. The Kentikarukage Arc should be more fun, I promise.  
_


	11. Welcome to Kentikarukage!

**A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm in China ! Pretty much this whole chapter was written mid-air ! I just couldn't wait to start with the Kentikarukage Arc- boy this is gonna be fun ! As a fair warning updates might slow down, but I highly doubt that seeing as I only do like two a week. Enjoy !  
**

Li I woke up. He was lying on a soft bed, with a thin silk blanket over him. He could feel a gentle breeze coming from a window. He didn't remember going to sleep, or finding a bed. Indeed the last thing he remembered was the blinding blue light that had enveloped him and Kunjingle. He sat up and looked around the room for the bear, instead he found a vixen staring at him.

She was beautiful, simply put. Li I had seen pretty, but this was just... Her fur was a bright shade of red, and seemed to glow faintly. She wore a silken garment of golden complexion and her eyes were the deepest, most marine blue ever. Was this Zorari ? Was this beautiful, beautiful vixen his guide ?

"Hello." She purred, in spotless Chinese.

And she could speak his language as well... she was positively perfect. Li I found himself goggling at her. He tried to return the conversation but felt that any conversation or pick-up line would fail him. For the first time in his life Li I found himself positively and absolutely speechless.

"Do you want a kiss ?" She asked in her same purring voice, standing up and walking closer to him.

Li I could have said no, he didn't know her, and for all he knew she could well be a demon. But he was positively attracted to her. He tried to stutter a polite refusal... he couldn't just go smooching every pretty girl in the world. But found himself incapable of disappointing her.

"Just close your eyes." She purred.

Li I did as he was bid, forgetting literally everything in the intensity of the moment. He felt something press against his lips, it was surprisingly cold, and felt wooden to the touch. Then he heard a bark of laughter and his eyes snapped open. There was no pretty vixen. And he was kissing what looked like a flat stick.

What there was was a short, thin fox, with bright, albeit messy red fur. He had bright turquoise eyes, and had two black claws on his paws and feet. He wore a vest of light blue, with some intricate lines of black silk stitched in, and a set of darker blue, more marine, pants. But his most prominent feature were his tails. He had ten of them, all bright red with black tips. For a moment Li I forgot all about the vixen, who was this boy ?

But the boy's childish laughter brought him back to his senses, and Li glared at him. "What's the big idea !"

Between laughs the kitsune managed to try and say that the whole thing was 'freaking hilarious' and that Li should have 'seen his face'.

Li glared at him harder. "And what's the stick for ?"

The kitsune held his breath before laughing a bit more, he halted for half a minute, enough time to hold up the stick and say. "It's a chuugi, and is used for anal-"

" _-WHAT_ !?" Li yelled frantically wiping at his mouth.

"Cleansing. Anal cleansing." The kitsune then burst into more fits of laughter, before taking a deep breath, grinning like a maniac and asking Li I. "What do you think you were kissing ?"

" _WHAT_ !?" He yelled again, a note of absolute fury in his voice.

"It's a new one, don't worry I'm not a total-" He was forced to duck as a dart flew over his head and landed with a thunk in the wooden wall behind him. Only then did he notice that the rabbit was positively pissed. "You know what? I think I should be leaving." And with that he turned tails and ran. Li of course gave chase.

The kitsune turned wildly, and slid down the stairs, before making another wild turn and racing out of the building.

Li I forgot all about the stairs and hopped out of the window, landing right in front of the kitsune. He swung with his fan, but the ten-tailed fox was light on his feet, and running for his life.

Li I chased after him.

If he had been strolling through Kentikarukage he would have admired the architecture. Buildings were made into trees, or above them, or under them in the case of one particularly large oak. The road was made up of flattened roots, that gnarled and twisted and turned over each other. Windows were just holes in trees, or gaps in roots, doors were the same, but larger and covered in an equally large blanket. It was positively beautiful, but the only thing Li I had eyes for was catching the kit.

He turned wildly at a tree, expecting Li to not be able to turn as quickly as he did, to his great surprise the rabbit did it as well as he did, and was closing in.

They raced past a small hut, built under the remains of a peach, and the kitsune snatched a pipe from another old fox (only two tails this time) and threw it back at the rabbit. Li I blocked the hot part with his fan, caught it by the handle and passed it back to it's owner all while still hot on the trail.

* * *

Kunjingle on the other hand was surrounded by smaller children, all were kitsune, though some only had two or three tails, and the largest number was eight, and they were all about five or six years old. They stared at him in wonderment and fascination as he recounted his life story to them in his strangely poetic language. They climbed over him, on him, surrounded him, poked at his sun, his belly, pulled at his ears, stared into his mouth, tried to tickle his feet with their tails. It was strangely relaxing, looking after all the smaller beings. It would have been more relaxing but another kitsune raced right past him, while being chased by a rabbit. Kunjingle had a short mental battle before deciding that he really didn't want to know. Still Li I was his friend, so putting the children down he slowly walked after them, admiring the scenic beauty of the place, especially the path, the roots were very well bonded.

* * *

Zorori ducked behind another kitsune and let Li I slip in his attempt to not crash into her. Both stopped running, Zorori looking down at the rabbit from over his mother's shoulder, his tongue sticking out at Li, who continued to glare, and poked his own tongue out.

It took Zorari two seconds to put two and two together. Then the kitsune grabbed her son by the ears and smacked him right across the face. Li I, and the kids that had inevitably followed Kunjingle erupted into fits of laughter

Zorari was the Soncho of Kentikarukage. The Village Elder. She had bright red fur and the same turquoise eyes as her son. She had only four tails, tipped in white, not her child's black. She too was bare foot, and only had two claws on each paw, like most kitsune. She wore a lightish blue robe, with dark green leaves patterned onto it and a small scruff of yellow wool around her neck. Her hat was also strange, a blue band that attached a flat green cap to her head, and from that cap stemmed a cone of yellow. It looked absurd but was the mark of her title.

"Hey, what was that for ?" The younger kitsune asked, rubbing his wounded cheek.

Zorari ignored the question and began ranting, gently pressing her claws against her temple. "How many times have I told you not to use the Seduction 'Technique' ? How many times have I told you that tricking people into kissing a chuugi is not funny ?"

"Hey at least this one was unused." Zorori defended.

Zorari slapped him again. "How many times have I told you not to disobey me ? Now apologize to our guests."

The slap must not have hurt much as a second later he was bowing down to Li I and Kunjingle. "Hello, and welcome to Kentikarukage ! My name is Zorori, son of Zora 'Black-Tip' Pom-Poko and Zorari Chan. Aaaaaaaaaaaat your service."

Li I would have well-liked to be allowed to slap him, but decided against it. He then looked at the kit's mother, who with considerably less showmanship introduced herself. "I am Zorari. Kentikarukage's Soncho. What brings you to us ?"

Li I forgot all his anger as excitement filled over him. So this was the one Han's mother had sent them to ! "We our Li I and Kunjingle. My companion and I are searching for my father, we were sent here at Miss Guan's recommendation, she also supplied the Orb we used."

Zorari narrowed her eyes, considering Li I. "And the bear follows you ?" She asked suspiciously.

"He's a good friend." Li I replied.

Zorari nodded. "Very well. Follow me. Zorori look after the bear and make sure he has all the comforts he desires."

"Sure mum." He replied as Zorari with a nod of her head signaled for Li I to follow her.

* * *

 _Footnote: The chuugi joke was borrowed from a scene in Silver Fang by Empressimperia, where Po visits Japan and finds a strange object ;)  
_

 _Zorori is named after the titular character of a manga/anime called Kaiketsu Zorori, though he's not exactly based off of that fox. As a result my other kitsunes Zora and Zorari are named similarly as a kind of in-joke._

 _Enjoy_


	12. Kitsune and Everything Else !

**A/N: Don't worry, I'll update more often and give you some more content, but for now be content.**

"Zorori has always been spirited, it is his way of coping. I'm sorry he pranked you, but you must know he meant no wrong."

"Ah, hah. Cope ? Cope with what ?" Li I asked.

"You are a very nosy little creature." Zorari condemned, but satisfied his curiosity. "His father died many years ago, before Kentikarukage was first founded, Zorori was a child at the time. He went through a lot of pain at the time... he probably still does, but he masks it all under his pranks." She sighed. "So tell me about yourself ?"Changing the subject.

Li I began. "Well, my dad was a rabbit and my mum too. My village was raided when I was really young, my whole family was killed and I was dumped in Suna's orphanage. But I know my dad is still out there ! I can just feel it !"

Zorari narrowed her eyes, she could see his passion quite clearly...but she had doubts. The world was a crazy place. "If your father still lives why has he not returned to you ?"

"Well I suppose he doesn't know where I am, or it could just be he doesn't know I'm alive."

Zorari grimaced. "You do realize by now he may have passed ?" She asked, not unkindly, but with a blunt undertone.

"Pfff, my dad can't be that old ! I mean I'm only nineteen, so for all I know he could be forty-"

"Not all men marry at twenty." Zorari pointed out. "But I will help you anyways."

"Thanks !" Li I said ecstatically.

The two walked on in silence for a short while.

"So where exactly is Kentikarukage ?" Li I asked finally.

"It is forbidden we tell strangers of the location of our hidden village."

"But, why ?" He asked with continuous, stubborn curiosity.

"Do you know of the tanuki ?"

"Uh, those guys ! I had to fight like twelve of those dweebs on my first day here !"

Zorari raised an eyebrow. "The tanuki are extinct-"

Li I's jaw dropped. "I exterminated a species !?"

Zorari rolled her eyes. "Must you say the first words that come into your head ? No, I'm not referring to the racoon dogs. I speak of those that possess natural magic-our eternal rivals-"

"You mean the big-balled bastards with little dicks ?"

"You Chinese... so vulgar. Essentially yes, though I will confirm that their 'balls' are not as big as the myths say. And the 'dicks' are smaller."

"Right... but how would you know ?" Li I pressed on. She ignored that question.

"When Daimyo Masuta ordered the extermination of the tanuki race, some forty years ago, we figured we were next. If tanuki were being hunted now, kitsune could be hunted next, so we traveled here, and our only way in and out was by the Orbs. Some clans know of our existence, and can tell you which direction to go- but not how to get here."

"So the Daimyo-"

"Has no idea we exist, or so I hope anyways. Still, if he did he would find us much harder to kill that the tanuki."

"Did nobody stop the Daimyo ?" Li I asked. "I mean, like some people wouldn't have been okay with the extermination of a race-am I right ?"

"Well some did, naturally. But they usually got the same treatment... my husband died trying to save a friend... he protested against the massacre... and was killed in turn." She sighed heavily, and Li I was sorry he brought it up. "He took some down with him, and made me take Zorori and our clans, and leave. Thus Kentikarukage was born." She sighed again. "Here we are."

It was a door, made of wood intertwining over each other, and matched the floor work quite well. She placed her paw on it, mumbled some Japanese and the gnarled woods turned and twisted apart, revealing a room of bright blue. It shone with the glamour of about thirty orbs, and Li I had to blink for about a minute before his eyes became accustomed to the glow.

"This is the Travel Room, if your father is the man I think he is, then he is either in Kiwa, Zuko, Iga or Himawa. However there is no way to narrow it down, I have not spoken or heard from him since... a long time. Still, I will take you to Kiwa and Zuko myself, but Iga and Himawa are too large and I cannot risk bringing Masuta down on my people."

"Riiiiight." Li I was stunned, he had never expected to come so close... so quickly. "Thank you so much." Li I found himself saying.

Zorari smiled. "But for now I suppose that's enough. Let's get back to the rest."

* * *

The village of Kiwa was raining. Badr, the Thing, Li II and Han Guan stood underneath a large parasol in the street, one which kept them dry, but stopped them from moving. Badr was proud, they had covered roughly fifty li in the space of twelve hours. Han was exhausted and worn out, Li II was dripping wet and dirty, the Thing didn't seem to care- he had surprisingly proved to be the biggest hold up, what with his bladed feet getting stuck to about twelve different surfaces, and then there was Badr, he too was dripping wet, but he seemed perfectly fine with that. They would have made greater progress, but Han Guan had stayed on the ground, while the remaining three had traveled with squirrel-like skill through the tree-tops.

Danzaburo was lying under his own parasol, hidden amongst the trees of Kiwa. He had almost found it hard to keep up with the quartet, but over that time he had found a lot about Han Hoki Tokugawa Shinza Guan. The wolverine was scared of heights... that much was painfully obvious- this wouldn't be hard to use to his advantage.

Han Guan meanwhile was stuck deep, deep in memory lane...

* * *

 _Footnote: And the next chapter should be Han Guan's emotions. And some other things :) Enjoy_


	13. Rain in Mind and Weather

**A/N: I like this story a lot because I can mix the darker and lighter tones of my work so well ! Enjoy !**

Japanese Food beat Chinese Food… by a lot. The varieties of noodle flavours were uncomparable. Sweet and spicy, salty, so hot it hurt… and then there were the innumerable amount of this strange, rice-like substance the kitsune called sushi. They were all different… and all so good.

If the food was any less good then maybe Li I wouldn't have stuffed himself silly. Maybe his manners would have been better, but he really couldn't think about using a chopstick properly or not looking like an absolute slob… not when it was this good !

"This is soooooo good !" He exclaimed for further emphasis, through a mouth stuffed with noodles, two chopsticks clenched tightly in his paws, both were totally and completely covered in sushi, so that they closely resembled kebabs. Not that he knew what those were anyways.

The kitsune looked half proud, half aghast at the rabbit. On one paw he clearly enjoyed their food… on the other hand the Chinese really should have been taught better eating habits than what was currently on display.

Kunjingle was more or less the same. He gorged through platter after platter of food, and now had a tremendous pile of the gleaming silver plates next to him, polished to near-perfect satisfaction, they would have been perfect, but his tongue had done the polishing for him.

The only kitsune who seemed capable of matching the pair of them, both in their power of consumption and their lack of manners, was Zorori. He, like Kunjingle was polishing platter after platter.

The entire village was seated on a long table in the town square, a massive hollowed out tree stump. It was a large village, with about a hundred residents, all of whom were seated here. There were children, old geezers, adults, and a couple of toddlers. Being the only not-kitsune there Li I and Kunjingle stuck out like a dent.

It didn't help that this was the pair's first meal since they had left the tanuki behind. Zorori, however was just being glutinous.

Zorari, however, tolerated them, and the towns-folk did the same.

At last Li I sat back, completely finished, stuffed to the brim… and then some. He was definitely staying here…

* * *

The rain was so thick the expedition had to be halted. The quartet were sharing a room in a cramped and overcrowded inn. Badr stared out the window… wondering whether or not his prey would be washed away in the downpour… how pitiful, that for all he knew they could all be dead, but he was unable to know for sure… and could now be wasting his time chasing corpses.

The Thing was wary, for some strange reason it felt on edge, like it was being watched.

However, if Li I suffered, surely Li II would know ? Li I had been put into a coma due to the 'death' of his twin. The connection between them had been almost entirely severed at the time… but if one's pain could be explicitly felt by another, the strength of the connection would surely have to be very strong, and therefore… hard to break… and not broken completely. If Li I was dead- Li II would know. As for Kunjingle… if the bunny lived-why not his companion ?

The Thing hacked ruthlessly at a potty plant located in the room, obliterating it in one swipe, sending dirt and roots flying everywhere. There was nothing there…

"What the hell is wrong with you ?" Han Guan exclaimed, having received a generous coating of the earth.

The Thing gave the wolverine a look, before continuing to look sullen.

Danzaburo breathed a sigh of relief. It had been a close call, but he had noticed the beast's killing intent before he got the opportunity to strike. He was currently a fly, minute, tiny, almost invisible. Still, he would have to be careful around the lion...

* * *

 _"What's he doing here !"_

 _"That bastard, he took the swings for himself again !"_

 _"The swings would be cool-if he didn't hog them !"_

 _"How could the Guan have made something like that... I bet he's adopted- just look at his fur !"_

 _Han Guan heard the whispers and felt the pain at the bottom of his heart. It hurt a lot to be laughed at, to have noone appreciate him. He could just go and die in a hole... and nobody would give two tails about where he was..._

 _He had come into the school with high hopes. He would make friends ! He would be the top student ! He would make the Guan clan proud ! But his first week had crushed all his dreams._

 _It had all began with the lesson on tree-climbing. One of the students had 'helped' him up, and thrown him into the tree tops, where he had ended up stuck and frightened. He had clung onto the tree so hard his teacher had been unable to pull him off. He became the laughing stock of the group._

 _"Hey Guan !" Hyng approached the wolverine pup, his twin following close behind._

 _"Do you want to play with us ?" Hung offered._

 _To Han Guan this was like a dream come true... He was being accepted, people were letting him join in with their games. "Sure !" He said, trying to control his excitement._

 _"Well sure, let's start with the swings !"_

 _The swings weren't what he expected it to be. He was basically just their slave, made to push at their backs while they came swinging towards him. But he pretended not to care... like he was having as much fun as them. It was exhausting. Both were fat and he got no time to breathe as the second he pushed one the other came at him._

 _Then when he was just too tired to swing Hung decided it was a good idea to jump off. The badger landed hard... into the mud. For once the children laughed at someone other than Han, but the wolverine knew the pain, and did not join in the laughter. He walked over and helped Hung to his feet._

 _Hung shoved Han hard. "This is your fault ! If you had been pushing properly !"_

 _"I didn't do anything... you jumped." Han Guan defended weakly... not wanting to bring further laughter onto Hung. The badger swung for Han in a fit of rage, but the wolverine's claws had already slashed open his cheeks._

 _That night was the first time Han Guan shouted at his mother... and also the last time she treated him with any kind of care._

 _"I told you mama ! He swung for me first ! I only acted in self-defence !"_

 _"Han, how many times have I begged you to learn your place ! You have only brought dishonour to our clan, and now you have harmed another's child. How many times have I asked you to just stay away from trouble !"_

 _"I-I can't !"_

 _"You can and you will !"_

 _Han Guan burst into tears. "You act like it's easy ! To live without lo- To live with you! Well it's not! And that's why dad left !" He broke down completely and ran away to his room._

 _Miss Guan followed after, but stopped at the door. "Han-"_

 _"I'm not my dad ! I'm your son too !" Then all she heard was sobbing. She placed her head against the locked door, and silent tears streamed down her eyes._

 _From then on Han Guan had stuck to the swings... forever alone._

* * *

 _Footnote: Geez, poor Han am I right ? Let's just hope his family issues can get some resolution. And sneaky Danza, can he stay hidden forever ?  
_

 _Okay, so the Prequel Arc needs a bit more work done on it ! The next chapter will be a mix of Han Guan's and Li I's pasts._

 _Enjoy and Update soon !_


	14. The Battle at Iwa's Inn

**Originally this chapter was 2506 words exactly, and I would have deleted six words just to get my OCD satisfied... but I decided I'd just give you a pointless author's note instead !  
**

"Confound this stupid weather ! It's been raining for three days straight ! When will I get the chance to continue ?" Badr snarled, smashing a mug to pieces.

The innkeep, a light brown rabbit, swiped up after him, cleaning the broken pieces of china and dusting the table off in the space of a few seconds.

Badr was not the only one pissed off. The inn was packed and the four of them were lucky to have rooms, some people slept on tables, on stairs, and even in the latrines !

Han Guan however, tried to soothe him. "Well if we can't go anywhere, they can't either ? Relax Badr-sama, I am sure once the weather gets better we will be able to catch up."

Badr glared. "Keep your muzzle shut if you want to keep it ! Do I make myself clear ?"

"Yes Badr-sama."

* * *

"Today I will accompany you to the village of Iwa." Zorari told Li I. To the rabbit it was like being told he could have all the sweets in the world.

"Yes ! Finally ! Oh boy, oh boy, have I been looking forwards to this !" He said, throwing his arms into the air and running in the wrong direction.

"You're meant to follow me." Zorari commented.

"Uh, yeah, I knew that... I was just- warming up !" Li I said, turning and running off in the other direction.

"Wait a moment. Zorori is getting ready."

To Li I it felt like a slap across the face. "Why is he coming ?! That brat ! He tied my ears together while I was sleeping !" Li I had been in Kentikarukage for three days now, and Zorori had been the only thing that had bugged him about the place. The ten-tailed kitsune was so annoying ! Every morning he would pull another prank out of his ass and try it on him !

"I promised I would take him ! He hasn't left Kentikarukage since last year, I thought it would be a good idea to let him have some fresh air."

Li I sighed. "Fine, but Kunjingle has to come as well !"

"He's already waiting." The Soncho soothed.

Li I huffed, but something was really fishy. "If you want to keep low profile isn't it best to just travel alone ? Won't your son attract attention ?"

"If someone in Tokyo sees me, then there's a problem. If someone in Iwa sees me they won't care. If someone from Tokyo in Iwa sees me, they'll think they're smoking something. Understood ?"

"Yes." Li I said, nodding vigorously, his heart pounding. He was so excited he could barely hear what she was saying.

Zorori emerged from the tree-house, looking as excited as Li I. He frowned upon noticing the bunny, but shrugged and skipped off to the Travel Rooms.

Li i hurriedly followed him, with Zorari bringing up the rear.

They found Kunjingle waiting, surrounded by his usual entourage of kitsune kits, many of whom were hanging from his back or clinging onto his fur. When he noticed them he patted the children goodbye and they scampered off.

"Alright let's go !" Li I shouted as soon as the gnarl of roots had moved apart and revealed the room behind.

Zorari led them to an orb around the back of the room. "I'm guessing you already know what to do ? Since there are four of us, you'll find yourselves a bit less tired than when you first got here, and since Iwa is comparatively closer, you should all be able to stand upon arrival. Now, put your paws on it."

* * *

Danzaburo was beginning to feel like his cover wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be. He was currently in the form of a pig, pretending to be depressed and stuck to sake. However, the Thing had been staring at him since he had first put on the disguise. He was sure by now that it knew something was wrong, but for some reason was not telling it's comrades. Still in all his time Danzaburo had never seen anything like it. It was made of wood, yet acted and lived like a normal animal. Still it was undoubtedly a deadly opponent, it's arms were swords and it's feet the tips of tridents. There were no ropes around it, so it wasn't a puppet. There was a possibility that someone was inside it, controlling it's action from within, but that would make it easier to deal with. Due to it's wooden nature... a bit of fire and the puppet and it's master would both be goners- unless it wasn't a puppet. Nooone came out of it, not to sleep, not to eat, not to drink... the lion had never even visited the latrines. And Danzaburo couldn't even begin to imagine how such a thing could live... some powerful magic ? If so would a little fire be enough ?

The door opened suddenly, and for a second Danzaburo thought it was the wind. Instead his eyes widened-if only slightly- as four figures walked in. The first two, dripping wet and panting, were the bear and bunny he had seen pummel the bandits. The other two were more intriguing. A pair of kitsune. One wore the traditional robes of their clan's Soncho... the other was a child, around thirteen or twelve, but possessed the rare ammount of ten tails- all tipped with black. Was this the Pom-Poko clan ? Were they still alive ? He had lost track of the kitsune since Masuta-dono's... declaration. But they were the eternal rivals of the tanuki...

* * *

Li I noticed the eyes staring at them. He searched for any signs of a rabbit in the crowd, but spotted only one...

The innkeep was a light brown bunny, with an ugly round head, a pair of buckteeth that weren't the same length, but were yellow and... curled ?

"Uh, dad ?" Li I asked hesitantly, half hoping the old man was not his father.

The innkeep blinked, he didn't understand a single word of Chinese.

Zorari sighed and put a paw on Li I's shoulder. "I'm sorry, we came to the wrong place." She was about to address the crowd in Japanese, but was cut short when Badr finally noticed who had strolled in.

" _You !_ " The feline yelled, getting to his feet, glaring at Li I and Kunjingle.

"See, I told you we'd find them !" Han Guan cheered.

Kunjingle made a strange noise and cocked his head to the side.

"Han ?" Li I's jaw dropped, then he spotted Li II, and his eyes practically exploded out of their sockets. No amount of change would prevent the two from recognizing one another. After all... they were the same person. "And the other me! Man this was so worth it! How you been guys? Wait, Han I thought you died! Am I dreaming?"

Kunjingle whistled, clicked, made a popping Boise and sneezed.

"Yeah I'm not dreaming either! This is the best day ever!"

Then the Thing stood up, Badr stood up, Li II stood up cackling, and Han Guan looked confused.

Zorari looked from her entourage to that of Badr. "What is it Li-kun ?"

The Thing made the first move, dashing forwards with a sudden burst of speed, and slashing at Kunjingle's neck. The sword hit the neck, and found it was as solid as rock.

Kunjingle made a grunt that probably meant 'my turn' before uppercutting the wooden lion into the roof.

The innkeep, acting quickly, ordered the people to head upstairs, while he himself ducked behind the counter.

Badr also charged, slashing the air with his claws as he prepared to kill the rabbit. Li I readied himself, and drew his fan, Badr was tripped however, when a small plant suddenly grew out between the floorboards. The feline landed on his face, and Li I brought his foot down on the back of his head.

"Zorori get behind the counter !" Zorari ordered while tapping the points along her paws.

"But mu-"

"Just do it !"

Zorori reached the counter quicker than expected when a dart just barely hit his eye.

Li II thew his darts forwards, while Li I blocked them with his fan. "Li, whats wrong with you! And Badr! What're you fighting us for?"

Kunjingle grabbed the Thing and threw it against a table. The piece of furniture was obliterated by the force of the landing. Kunjingle then leapt into the air and free-fell onto the wooden lion. The Thing raised it's blades and caught the bear, who just managed to tense in time, before hurling him with impressive strength behind the counter.

By now the inn had been evacuated to the second floor, leaving Pig-zaburo as the sole observer of the battle.

Badr swung for Zorari, but the kitsune was too quick for him. Her tails reared up around her and created four separate balls of pure light, which with a single wave of her paw were sent flying towards Badr Tamod. The cat back-flipped away from all four of them as they obliterated the floor of the inn.

"Not bad... for a woman." He taunted.

"Not bad... for a handicap." She threw right back, before slamming her paws together. A pair of vines crashed through the floorboards behind Badr and caught him round the torso. "But I think you'll find I've been doing this for too long to be caught unprepared."

She summoned four other balls of light from her tail.

Han Guan stood up. "Guys, why are we all fighting ? I thought we were all friends."

"We are Han! You're a very good friend!" Li was promptly kicked between the legs.

"Han Guan you imbecile ! Release me or I'll die !" Badr yelled in desperation.

"Okay Badr-sama !" With one flick of his wrist he extended his claws and sliced the vines clear off the cat. Badr leapt out of the way just as the balls of light made another huge hole in the floor.

Li I kicked Li II away from him. "Naughty clone ! You're meant to fight with me " Li I tried to summon the orange chi that had once created and kept back Li II. He could feel it's warmth reach his eyes. "You're going back in !"

"No I'm not !" Li II punched Li I in the gut, breaking the collection of chi, before following up with an uppercut. "I'm not part of you anymore ! I'm no longer Li , I'm my own person !"

"Don't be ridiculous ! I created you !"

"I have nothing to do with you !" Li II said, burning with rage. "You let me die ! I have no memories with you ! No similarities ! Nothing ! I am no longer a part of Li I !"

Li I blinked. "You can't say-" He was promptly punched in the gut again.

"Less talk more walk !"

Zorari glared. She would be destroying the cat... but there were people here, she couldn't use her most destructive justus. She could head back to Kentikarukage first, recuperate and fight another day. But her allies had to leave first.

"Zorori, Kunjingle, Li I, run for the orb ! Don't leave without me !"

Kunjingle smashed the Thing into a wall with a powerful thrust of his belly. Li I kicked Li II in the balls and raced for the orb.

"Got it Soncho !"

Kunjingle was the next out the door, but paused when he spotted the Thing going for Zorori and the innkeep. The bear roared and ran back... he wouldn't get there in time !

" _Harem Technique !_ " The Thing stopped functioning as it was faced with three nude vixens, all of whom were blowing kisses at him.

Pig-zaburo facepalmed. _The most vulgar technique I have ever seen. So distateful yet... Familiar.  
_

Zorori then hopped over the counter, while the innkeep headed for the stairs. The Thing turned to catch the kitsune, but was sent sprawling by the head of Kunjingle.

"Thanks big guy." The bear picked up Zorori in his jaws, tenderly just keeping hold of the back of the neck, before racing to the orb on all fours. "Hey, I did not say you could mommy me around !" Zorori exclaimed, thrashing around in Kunjingle's grip. The bear however didn't let go. Unbeknownst to him they were being followed by a pig, who looked like he had had a little too much sake.

"Hey kitty, what do you say to taking this fight outside ?"

"I'm all ears !" Badr exclaimed.

"You'll have to catch me first !" Zorari teased, throwing a normal kunai at the cat.

Badr avoided it easily. "Get her men !"

The Thing, Li II and Badr raced after her. Han Guan stood confused for one more second. "But aren't we friends ?" He shrugged his shoulders before following the group.

* * *

"Finally, you're here. Let's go !" Li I placed his paw on the orb. They were under a tree, soaking wet, with their paws dripping with mud. Still they felt their remaining chi filling up at their paws and connecting with the orb.

Badr came running into the clearing. "No !" Instinctively he grabbed hold of one of Zorori's tails.

"Get off !" Zorori demanded. The Thing slashed downwards, but his metal arm connected with the orb instead. Li II grabbed hold of Li I's ear and felt his stomach get tighter.

"Where are we going ?" He asked nonchalantly.

Han Guan came under the tree, looking even more confused.

"Grab the orb !" A drunken pig suddenly barged him forwards, so that his nose connected to the sphere of blue light, while the pig himself held onto the wolverine's tail.

There was a bright flash of blue light, and then there was just the orb and noone else, lying under the tree in Iwa... where it seemed to only rain more and more.

* * *

 _Footnote: Finally some action ! You can expect lot's more of this in this story ! MOOOOOORE COMBAT ! I left you on a bit of a cliffhanger though, didn't I ? I guess we'll find out what happens next... after I do some work on the 'Prequel Arc' side of this story. I left you on a cliffhanger in that as well didn't I ? And I left you on one in BitDTT, what can I say ? It's a good technique !  
_

 _Enjoy !_


	15. A Couple of Tests

**A/N: Much like last time I write useless author's note to get this to 1.5 K :)**

 _"Since you asked nicely, I have come here to learn the art of endurance, so that I can win the li race, smash Lee's ugly face into second place and finally get my father's recognition !" Li bellowed, waving his fist in the air._

 _Then Mung followed up, pointing at Li. "Since you asked nicely, I am the Kung Fu teacher here ! If you want to learn anything from me you will have to pass through my strict training regime !"_

 _Li I brought his fist into his open palm. "Let's do this !"_

 _Mung grinned. Since pretty much forever he had disliked the rabbit. Li I was loud, rude and hyper-active. How was he meant to make top-quality food when half his ingredients were getting robbed for rubbish experiments ? He was going to enjoy this !_

 _"Very well Li, welcome to the club ! Your first match, Peng you will show you what I have taught him ! Peng you, no mercy !"_

 _The pig looked a little nervous as he stood in the center of the room._

 _Li I looked apologetic. "Sorry Peng, but I can't let myself get defeated by the-" He was promptly floored, landing hard on his back. Peng you then sat on him._

 _"Get off !" Li yelled, trying and failing to push his friend off of him._

 _Mung stared into the rabbit's face. "I don't think you have what it takes." The rat mocked._

 _Li I glared. "Give me another chance ! I wasn't ready last time !"_

 _"A Kung Fu master is always ready !" Mung snapped. "But fine, I'll give you another test !"_

* * *

 _"Is this safe ?" Li I gulped.  
_

 _"Oh, it's not very difficult." Mung assured._

 _They were standing on the roof of one building, with a thin rope stretched over to the roof across the empty street. Peng you and Flower were watching from below, where -Mung assured- they would be able to catch a falling rabbit._

 _"Let me demonstrate !" Mung took a running start, before flipping mid-air to land on his feet. He didn't even wobble... or make much of a dent on the rope. He walked forwards, almost as casually as if he was in his kitchen, frying some dumplings. He reached the other side with ease, before turning round and blowing Li an infuriating kiss._

 _"My turn !" Li roared, taking a running start and hopping onto the wire._

 _It was over as soon as he made contact. The rope snapped and he just barely managed to catch hold of it, just as it came swinging into a wall._

 _"That must have hurt." Flower pointed out, standing next to Peng you, who was currently pinching his nose shut._

 _"Ya think ?" Fidget asked, also holding his nose shut._

* * *

 _"Fine, since you asked nicely I'll give you another chance. Since you failed one style of balance, we must check up on how well you do in your other style !"  
_

 _"Yes sir !" Li I yelled with applaudable enthusiasm._

 _"Stand on your paws." Mung ordered. "Your paw-paws, not your foot-paws !" He added upon noting Li I's confused expression._

 _"Oh-okay. " With some difficulty, and arms that wobbled precariously Li I managed to perform a paw-paw stand. "I did it ! I passed the test !"_

 _"Not quite. Fidget, stand on his legs !" The bat looked at the rat with a befuddled expression._

 _"Uh, are you sure that's a good idea ?" He asked worriedly watching Li. "Besides, it's not like I can fly." He indicated his wing._

 _"Just do it !" Li I and Mung shouted simultaneously._

 _The bat huffed and climbed on a stool, before hopping on to the rabbit's feet. Somehow he managed to land on them, but was suddenly kicked into the air when Li I burst out laughing._

 _"Ow, that tic-hehehehehehehe-les !" Li I cackled, rubbing his feet, before he noticed what looked like Fidget kissing Flower's nose. "Aw, what a happy landing."_

 _Flower blushed, but Fidget pulled away, going extremely red. He looked at the skunk. "No homo, you got that ? It was an accident !"_

 _At this point Mung and Peng you joined in with Li I's laughter, making Fidget and Flower go a few shades redder._

 _Fidget attempted to crop up some excuse, but it was all pushed away by the laughter._

 _"Do I pass the test for humour ?" Li I asked between bouts of laughter._

 _"You certainly do !" Mung coughed out._

 _Peng you stopped upon noticing the apparent uncomfort of Flower and Fidget, both of whom refused to look at each other._

 _Eventually the laughter died down. "But you still failed the test of balance ! You kicked Fidget off the second he made contact. It was funny, but let's be honest, you didn't do that on purpose." He then turned to Flower and Fidget. "You two should really be more open about it !" He winked, making the pair of them go red (out of anger and awkwardness respectively). "So my final test ! Flower, show Li what you got !"_

* * *

 _The two stood opposite each other in the center of the dojo._

 _"This time I will not let my guard down so easily !" Li I vowed._

 _The skunk looked apprehensive. "Er- I don't think this is a good idea..."_

 _"It's an excellent idea! Sorry Flower, but I'm going to have to wipe the floor with you here."_

 _To be entirely honest, Flower was a cooking student taking lessons from a Kung Fu Master. In other words he was at a disadvantage. He knew this and Li knew this. One thing the rabbit didn't know was what happened when the skunk got nervous._

* * *

 _He woke up three hours later in Suna's hospital. He sat up, feeling incredibly energetic despite all that had happened to him earlier that day. He was surrounded by Fidget and Peng you, who both had tissue stuck up their noses, and Flower who was biting a claw nervously, and Mung who looked like he was going to laugh.  
_

 _"So... I guess I didn't pass ?" Li I mumbled._

 _"Oh no, the tests were just for fun, I'll teach you next time." Mung said, before roaring with laughter and walking off._

 _Li I glared as the fat rat left. he would have been angry... but he'd have done the same if he had the chance. He sighed, before looking at his friends._

 _"How bad do I look ?" He asked worriedly, patting his head everywhere to get the feel of it. "Do I have any black eyes, or something I'd need to bandage, or a bump to hide from Miss Yang or-"_

 _"Li..." Peng you looked from Fidget to Flower, neither of whom looked like they wanted to explain._

 _"You don't look too bad." Fidget encouraged._

 _"But ?" Li I asked, sensing there was more to it. He sniffed the air. "Hey Flower... you smell different. Did you get rid of the stink ? I told you that soap-thing would work !"_

 _"Er, that was last week and it didn't work, remember how my clothes stuck to my fur ? I told you it was glue! That was humiliating! And er- I don't smell different actually... it's just that."_

 _"You do." Peng you finished for him. "Flower basically... skunked you."_

 _Li I almost fainted. He fell back onto his bed with a groan. "Do I smell as ba-good ! Do I smell as good as him ?" He would have said bad, but remembered that the skunk himself was among them._

 _"No Li, you don't. You smell... exactly like him." Fidget said, confused as to whether or not he should laugh or be sad about it._

 _Li I put his paws over his face. Then he shrugged. "At least I can't smell it !" He said, grinning._

 _"Li, that's because I er-disabled your nose." Flower pointed out nervously._

 _"Wow man, thanks for that !" Li I said, rubbing his nose. "If you hadn't disabled it I would be smelling you everywhere !" Then he realized that he might have hurt Flower and corrected himself. "Not that that's a er- bad thing. It's just er, I like my own-"_

 _"Li it's okay. I know I stink. It's just I... Can't help it. I said it was a bad idea! And I didn't mean to do it! It just kind of... Slipped out..." Flower explained from between chewed claws._

 _"Uh... right. So shall we come up with an excuse for Miss Yang ?" Li i asked._

 _"Mung already told her everything." Fidget said, finally unable to contain himself as he started laughing._

 _"He did what !? I'm going to kill that rat !"_

* * *

 _Footnote: I figured I couldn't leave yall on the SAME cliffhanger for too long, so I gave you this instead. I had a lot of fun writing this, especially the 'tests'. Well next time we get to see a bit of Mung's training. I intend to finish the 'training arc' before continuing with the main Kentikarukage stuff, so you're going to see a lot more from Mung and the Orphans.  
_

 _Enjoy_


	16. The Battle at Kentikarukage

The entourage were thrown all over the Travel Rooms, crashing into Orbs of Light Blue, which were scattered all around the room.

Danzaburo found his cover blown, he was no longer a drunken pig, but showed his true colours as the only tanuki left. Normally he didn't get his cover blown. If it were to happen he would have to either kill all those who knew, or commit suicide. And Danzaburo was not the suicidal type... However it was safe to say that he was pretty much the least of everyone's worries and was practically invisible.

Noone however so much as noticed the tanuki lying on the floor. Han Guan was the first on his feet, his jaws dropping and eyes oogling at the bright blue orbs around him.

Noone payed much attention to him either.

The Thing got to it's feet quickly, and dived for Zorori, who closed his eyes accepting his fate. Fate had other plans as Kunjingle took the blow on a hardened stomach, before bringing a fist right into the wooden lion's face, putting a significant dent in it's features.

Badr was on his feet as well, and was closing his eyes, his palms connected in pure concentration.

Zorari was exhasuted. She had used up pretty much all her chi to get them to Kentikarukage. She could have ditched some of them, but mid-flight she had no idea who was who, and couldn't risk her son's life. Still, she wasn't Soncho for nothing. She slammed her paws together and a wave of light sent everyone flying even further around the room. Li I hit an orb and landed hard on his back, pretty much all the fight knocked out of him. That didn't seem like enough to stop the rabbit, however, who slowly crawled back to his feet.

Han Guan was knocked out however. His muzzle was firmly planted in the center of an Orb, with cracks stemming every-which-way from the point of entry.

Li II landed on his feet, and sent three darts flying towards the Soncho of Kentikarukage. She just managed to get out of their way. Then from out of nowhere, a black fist surrounded by golden chi smashed into her cheek. She was sent flying into a wall, but Badr gave her no respite, following up by punching her in the gut, so that the pair of them went through the wall, and out into the village.

Quite a few kitsune gasped, and then terror seized them. Many hadn't seen another animal for a long time. Li I and Kunjingle had been friendly, and therefore no cause for concern, the cat however looked ready to kill them all. He grinned wickedly and lost in his bloodlust charged forwards, slashing open a cheek, while simultaneously flooring one kitsune.

Then panic set in, and everyone began running.

Badr cackled with glee. He was going to enjoy this. Revenge was such a sweet dish. He reached into his cloak and removed a pellet. "Safi... this is for you." He crushed it open in his palm, and threw it onto the ground.

There was a cloud of smoke that filled the heavens, and only made the panicked villagers run faster. Then the smoke cleared.

What remained was a Deathworm. It was huge, so large it seemed to touch the sky, and riding atop it's head as it curled, snake like, was a black cat laughing his head off.

Li I peared out of the window, and felt his jaw drop to his knees. He had seen the Deathworm before, Lang had beaten it in the Second Task... but back then it was almost minuscule to it's size now. It towered over the trees, and looked large enough to devour the sun. He felt something sharp crash into his back and heard his former twin cackle with joy as he collapsed. He was paralyzed, both by fear and pain.

If Li I had been shocked, Danzaburo was beyond words. He had heard stories of the fabled Deathworm... but this was just absurd. It was so large... and the cat controlled it... how ? This was something not even he had seen before. What's more he had seen the kitsune, and now as he payed more attention to the fleeing villagers he realized that every single one of them was a fox with more than one tail.

The kitsune had not been wiped out like the tanuki, but they were so rare that the Daimyo hadn't even considered them a threat.

 _Why does their species get to survive ?_ He felt his paws become fists. _Why could they have a secret village ? Why was he the last of his kind and-_ He was forced away from his thoughts when he saw the Deathworm moving towards the small building that was the Travel Department. Danzaburo leapt out of the hole in the wall, just clearing it after Li II and the Thing. He landed hard on his side, but that was better than getting obliterated. Han Guan... Kunjingle... Li I... the son of Pom-Poko... they were surely goners.

There was another cloud of smoke after the attack, Danzaburo watched warily, ready to make a break for it if he had to. To his left he could see the Soncho rising to her feet, but she was paying him no mind. By now the villagers had somehow gotten far away enough that their terror was no longer audible.

Zorari felt a few tears welling up behind her eyes... this this couldn't be happening. Her son... her only son...

The dust cleared, and noone had died yet.

Kunjingle was clearly in difficulty, straining back against the humongous jaws of death with both paws. Around him were scattered the orbs and ruins of the Travel Room. Han Guan lay to his side, his muzzle still stuck inside an Orb. Li I was nearly unconcious and Zorori was cowering behind the bear. He could have still been swallowed whole but the Deathworm's beak, which separated into four, had somehow gotten stuck amidst the gnarling roots that made up the floor.

Danzaburo was surprised by the strength. The bear was gifted, even if he was struggling to do so he was successfully holding back a worm the size of a hill.

Zorari wasted no time with praise, but merely tapped the points along her paws, before slicing open her palm and smashing it into the earth.

As if a giant squid lived under the village, tentacles of vines crashed out from the ground, wrapping themselves around the worm, and choking it hard, while also keeping it still. Kunjingle let go and fell to his knees, panting. Zorori was watching the bear with a jaw that hung open, Li I was slowly getting to his feet, and Han Guan was still dead to the world.

Zorari then ran up the side of the worm with incredible speed she reached the top, where she faced Badr.

The two stared each other down.

"As Soncho I'm responsible for this village. You will not lay a claw on it while I still live."

"Ah, so I shall have to kill you then ?" Without waiting for a reply Badr charged, swinging with his sole arm. Zorari dodged effortlessly, before summoning more vines to grow out from within the ones she had wrapped around the Deathworm. They latched onto Badr's legs and pinned him.

"I already pointed out. You won't find killing me easy." Zorari was all out of chi. It was a miracle she could still stand. For now she had to buy her time. "Why did you attack us ?" She demanded.

"I have no ill will against you." He grunted, trying to get to his feet as he thrashed around wildly in the grip of the vines. "But your guests murdered my family."

Zorari stood in her stance. Li I was not a murder, and neither was Kunjingle. "That is a lie." She finished.

"No !" He seemed to thrash with more determination now. "I had but one daughter ! The last of the Tamods. And the rabbit went and butchered her alive !" Somehow he snapped through the vines, and pounced forwards, smashing a fist into the Soncho's face, sending her flying.

 _That determination... Is he telling the truth ?_ Badr pounced up after her, kicking her in the gut and sending her flying down towards the ground. She crashed with a resounding crushed and Badr stood over her dead body.

Until Zorari punched him in the spine that it, knocking him forwards, into her duplicate. The 'dead' Zorari grinned, and grabbed hold of his arms. She couldn't kill him now.. she needed to wait at least three minutes before she could use any finishers. With no blade in hand she couldn't stab him, and she didn't trust her strength enough to beat him should he try using any Kung Fu. She had to stay at a distance, and finish him from a distance.

"Tell me what happened." She stalled.

* * *

Danzaburo had seen enough. Between a giant worm, a village of kitsune and a half-mad maniac who controlled the said worm... he really hoped he had had some sake the night before.

Kunjingle collapsed, lying next to the smaller figure of the already knocked out Han Guan. Li I couldn't get to his feet. Li II was watching Badr and Zorari's fight intently. The Thing however was nowhere to be seen...

Danzaburo walked off, certain that nobody was going to follow him.

"Hey mister !" Danzaburo turned around to see the ten tailed child looking at him. "What are you doing here ?"

The raccoon said nothing, his face expressionless. "You should go help your mother." He advised.

"You didn't answer my question. You're a tanuki aren't you ?"

Right now the last thing Danzaburo needed was attention. He threw a kunai at a point on the boy's chest. His aim was good, and if he hit his mark the kitsune would be knocked out, but not killed. The kunai sailed though Zorori as the illusion disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"So you are a threat ?"

Danzaburo turned around to look at the kitsune kit. He said nothing, but was torn between annoyed at the waste of time, and impressed that anyone had managed to pull one past him. However his face remained expressionless. "Not exactly." He finally answered, somewhat truthfully.

"What's that supposed to mean ?" The kitsune grumbled, clearly impatient. "Why can't you grown ups be straight to the point ?"

Danzaburo decided that he would entertain the child for a while, if this truly was the son of Pom-Poko, then he might know something valuable. "I am a spy in the service of Masuta-dono. Daimyo Masuta to you. I was following the cat and ended up here. I'm on my way now to inform Masuta-dono of my finidings." _Or am I ? The kistune didn't deserve to live. If the tanuki were extinct why did the kitsune get to survive ? To survive and gloat over dead tanukis of their superiority. But at the same time... could he really live with himself if he caused the extermination of an entire species ? Was he really restoring the balance by ending hundreds of lives ?_

"You can't tell the Daimyo ! He'll kill us !" Zorori looked stricken.

"That's the point kid ! I'm a tanuki, my kind were wiped out by the Daimyo. I'm going to restore the balance !" _Or would he ? The Daimyo eventually recruited the tanuki... why wouldn't he do the same for the kitsune ? Like it turned out swell the first time..._ Danzaburo was lost in thoughts. He was only brought out of his trance when Zorori next spoke.

"I won't let you !" Zorori yelled, assuming what he thought was a stance but looked positively absurd.

Danzaburo almost laughed. "What's a kid like you supposed to do against me ?" He mocked, only half interested in the battle, his mental one still taking up most of his thoughts.

"A prank king like me will send you on you way, mister !" Zorori grinned.

 _Prank king ? That sounded... familiar._ Danzaburo began by throwing multiple leaves at the kit, all of which erupted into kunais and shuriken in puffs of smoke. Zorori just managed to avoid them all. _He is definitely a Black Tip. His speed is impressive already..._

 _"My turn ! Harem no jutsu !"_ In a puff of smoke three nude foxes, all posing exotically, blowing kisses at the spy of a thousand scents appeared.

Danzaburo removed the leaf that stuck perpetually out of his mouth, and it morphed into a katana in his paw. He effortlessly sliced through the three illusions. "Does it _look_ like I'm attracted to foxes !" _The harem no jutsu... that reminded Danzaburo of..._

"Would you prefer this then ?" Danzaburo turned around to see three nude, exotically posing tanukis, all blowing kisses towards him. _That is just ridiculous... Is he a one trick pony ?_

Danzaburo cut through them with one slice of his katana... his opponent was nowhere to be seen. Then he felt something hit him right up the ass. _"The Sacred and Secret Art of the Prank King !"_ A huge burst of chi flew up Zorori's claws and right into Danzaburo's butt, sending the tanuki flying into the sky. Mid air the illusion dissipated. "B-but I hit you ?" Zorori was stunned, when did the tanuki have time to replace himself with a clone, or was he fighting an illusion the whole time ?

"Again with the prank king... where did you get that from ?" Zorori spun on his heels, and saw Danzaburo casually leaning against a tree. "Nice technique by the way... it was very original."

"Thanks, I guess." Zorori said, looking confused and suspicious.

"But the fun ends here kid-"

"Why do you want to bring the man who killed your clan down on us ? What did we do to you ?" Zorori cut straight to the point.

Danzaburo looked stricken, and his emotionless illusion fell off. "Why is it, _that your species gets to survive ?_ "

Zorori looked down at his feet. "Who says they all did ?"

* * *

 _Footnote: And another cliffhanger ! YEAH BOY ! This chapter was soooo much fun to write ! Badr vs Zorari was always going to happen, but I'll admit that Berserker88 thought up Danzaburo vs Zorori (about two days ago actually :).  
_

 _And I left you on a cliffhanger on both of them ! Okay, so the next chapter here is going to be Prequel stuff, then there's going to be some backstory behind Zorori's dad, and then there's the conclusion of Danzaburo vs Zorori and then after that there's the conclusion to Badr vs Zorari._

 _So lot's to look forwards to here ! Meanwhile I still have to get back into the swing of thing with Back in the Day..._

 _Well Enjoy !_


	17. A Lesson in Patience

_Li I had never taken much notice of Flower. The skunk was a stranger to him. But now that he stunk like a skunk, he was stuck with him. It was amazing to what lengths people would go to avoid him, not even Lee took the opportunity to gloat or make fun of him, though Li had no doubts that as soon as it wore off the ugly face would let him have no mercy._

 _Fidget would have stayed with them, but he had to go to his 'Gossip Queens', and had therefore abandoned them. Peng you was only allowed inside the orphanage until mid-evening._

 _So for the last three hours of the day Li I had nothing better to do than share a seat with Flower. He was so bored it hurt. The skunk had occupied his time with things like reading, writing, doodling, calligraphy, but Li had never been a fan of those kinds of games. He was the type of person who went around pelting people with water-balloons, or bombs of ink, not the type to sit around and do 'nothing' all day._

 _An hour later and he was practically holding his eyes open. Mung had asked him to come in early to the dojo the next morning, so that his training could begin, and to get up at exactly the right time he had to go to bed at exactly the right time. So the exact right time was two hours from now. But regrettably he wouldn't be lasting that long...  
_

 _"Li wake up !" Flower's indigant cry as well as a tapping on his shoulder woke up Li with a start._

 _"Huh-what is it ? Is it time for training ?"_

 _"Li ! You drooled all over my work !" The skunk held up the piece of calligraphy, black ink beautifully manipulated onto the paper... except for a small splodge in the corner where rabbit drool had fallen through._

 _"Sorry Flower." Li I yawned. "I'm just really tired."_

 _"So that's why you fell asleep on my shoulder ?"_

 _Li blinked. "I did not !" He replied hotly._

 _"You were asleep ! How would you know ?"_

 _"Because I don't sleep on guys !"_

 _"Well I don't either !" Flower replied defensively.  
_

 _"Yeah you do you kissed Fidget !"_

 _"That was your fault !"_

 _"Was not !"_

 _"Was too !"_

 _The two humphed at each other before turning their backs on one another, with Flower rubbing off the ruined ink and beginning to paint on top of it._

 _"I'm sorry, but how can you do that ?!" Li I was fed up. Fed up of calligraphy, or paintings, or doodles, of poems, of pretty much everything. "All you do is sit there doing nothing all day long ! What kind of a life is that ?"_

 _"It's fun ! You just have no patience. Creating something beautiful is one of the best feelings in the world." Flower said, sounding so innocent._

 _"Well according to Fidget getting and sharing news is the best feeling in the world. And Peng you says it's eating his mom's cooking, so I guess 'fun' and 'feelings' aren't the same for everyone eh ?"_

 _"Of course they're not. Because everyone's different Li, you're always going on about your dad and how you're going to find him but I don't have a dad to pick me up. I don't even go to school."_

 _"Huh? Oh yeah, your tutor the duck. Gotta say, she's hot for a bird."_

 _"... I won't tell her that. But my point is I never complain when you do what you do."_

 _The rabbit harrumphed. "That's only because you don't know all my secret plans!"_

 _"The ones you shout about?"_

 _"Yeah, those ones!"_

 _The skunk turned away and began painting again. "Besides... I want to be good at art. People don't judge you if you're good at things. And noone will have to smell me anyways, if all I do is paint."_

 _The rabbit was touched, but also a little guilty. "Sorry I drooled on you."_

 _"No worries. It's fine." The skunk held up the sheet, it was not calligraphy. "It's me and you Li." He explained, upon noticing the rabbit's gaze._

 _"Aaaaw! You're sweet Flower! Here, make my shirt this colour!"_

* * *

 _"Liiiiiiii wakey wakey !" Mung whispered (loudly) into the rabbit's large ear.  
_

 _The rabbit sat up so quickly he fell off his bed and landed on his face. He got to his feet quickly, his back-straightened, his paw on his forehead in a perfect army salute. "Morning sir !"_

 _Mung was unimpressed, his paws crossed over his chest. "It's mid-afternoon, you slept all day."_

 _Li blinked. "I'm still ready for training sir !" He replied quickly, his determination unwavered._

 _"Very well. Today will push you harder than you have ever been pushed !"_

 _"Yes !"_

 _"Now let's goooo !"_

 _"Yeaaah !"_

 _The two raced forwards, and slammed into walls._

 _"Lesson one: Control the Power of Youth !" Mung's muffled voice said._

* * *

 _"Lesson two: Patience !"  
_

 _"Why are we in the kitchens ?" Li I ventured to ask._

 _"To master Kung Fu you must learn five principles. Patience, courage, confidence, discipline and compassion. You are already over confident and have more courage than a lot of people I can name... even though that's mostly due to your lack of intellect- But anyways ! You need Patience, discipline and compassion. We will start off with patience because it requires the least amount of actual teaching."_

 _Li I was beginning to have second thoughts about his latest hare-brained scheme..._

 _"Now, I want you to fry apples."_

 _"Mung... fried apples are gross !" Li I said with contempt._

 _"They are not ! They are a work of art that takes skill and experience to master !" Mung countered, clearly offended. "To make the delicacy you need the oil to heat up to exactly the right temperature. Too hot and you'll have to cool it down and start from scratch, too cold and you won't get anything."_

 _"This is where patience comes in, isn't it ? If it's too hot I have to wait again, and if it's too cold I have to still wait."_

 _"Very good, and while waiting, you aren't allowed to do anything ! You must stand above the pot, holding the apple tray, when the oil is hot enough you add them. Once they are fried you may come to me, and we will advance to the next stage of training. Good luck !"  
_

 _Li I stood ready. This was going to be a piece of cake. He lit the fire and placed the pot above it, he could already feel the oil absorbing the heat. He stood above it and waited._

 _After a short while the oil was bubbling ruthlessly, and Li I decided that it must be exactly the right temperature. He scooped up a bunch of apples and dropped them unceremoniously into the pot. They landed with a splash that sent hot oil hissing into the air. It landed on Li I's paw and burned him. With a yelp of pain the rabbit waved his paw around, and dropped the rest of the apples, tray included, into the oil._

 _There was even more hissing and then the bubbling became violent. Li I leapt away from the pot just as several blackened apple slices, burning apple slices drizzled in hot oil mind you, were sent all over the room._

 _It was by some miracle that he hadn't been hit. He got to his feet and walked cautiously over to the cauldron. Not watching where he was going he stepped on an apple slice, and felt it's burning juices wash over his foot. He yelled in pain and began hopping on his other foot, which then slipped on another apple slice, and sent his rump right onto the hard ground... and another apple._

 _From out of nowhere came Mung with a bucket of water, the rat dumping it unceremoniously all over him. "There you go ! All better now !"_

 _Li I looked ready to explode. "You call that better !? That oil could have killed me !"_

 _"Well, on the bright side you passed the test !"_

 _"I did ?" Li I looked confused._

 _Mung pulled out an apple chip from his pocket and handed it over to Li I. "Try it."_

 _Li I took a bite and gagged. "It tastes like your ones !"_

 _"Exactly ! Even though you nearly died your patience was good enough to allow you to pass ! Now for the next test !"_

 _Li I jumped with joy, only to land rump-first in the cooled-but-still-hot- oil. With a shriek of pain he flew into the air._

 _Wow, he really has no patience..._


	18. Kitsune Vs Tanuki: The Prank King

"You may have heard of my dad..." Zorori began, but was cut off when a shuriken was thrown at him.

"Yes, you kitsune tend to try and take center stage." Danzaburo responded, charging forwards and swinging with his katana.

Zorori ducked, and went for the armpit, his claws moving up and down in rapid movements.

Danzaburo couldn't resist, and burst out laughing, though he still swung his katana back around. The kitsune rolled out of the way.

Danzaburo looked around him, luckily nobody had spotted him laughing, how utterly humiliating... then again Danzaburo would have probably done the same...

"Why are you so determined to wipe out my species? I met like one tanuki, and have done nothing wrong to your kind!" Zorori replied.

"Because it's not fair! I am just restoring the balance." Danzaburo replied.

"That's rubbish, you're just salty your kind were wiped out!" Zorori countered, continuing to avoid the tanuki's swings, edging further and further backwards.

Then Zorori stepped on a leaf, which exploded into a pool of tar. The kitsune tried to edge backwards, but was halted by the tar. Danzaburo then kicked him in the gut, and sent him flying into a tree. He followed up by pinning the kitsune's arms against it with two more bombs of tar.

"I'll admit you aren't all bad. But nothing stops me when it comes to duty." Danzaburo stalked over and swung his katana. Zorori shut his eyes, accepting his fate.

Zorori saw nothing for about a minute before he ventured to open his eyes again. He started laughing at the sight of Danzaburo, completely pinned by a multitude of vines.  
"You look ridiculous!"

The one thing the vines had allowed to move was Danza's mouth. "Look who's talking, you got pinned first!"

"But that was my plan, don't you see?"

Danzaburo blinked. "Don't even try and bluff something like that."

"Fair enough. I thought I was a goner, but I fancy my chances right about now. You can't move, and I've got ten tails. You see where I'm going with this?"

Danzaburo remembered Zorari's balls of light from the inn, their destructive power was enough to finish even someone as stubborn as him. But had this child already learned to use them? If so...

"Secret Art of the Kitsune: Ten Tails of Tickling!"

"W-what ?"

The 'attack' wasn't even worthy of being called one. It was just another stupid technique the kit had pulled out of his ass, but it worked. Two tails went for his nose, two for his armpits, two for his belly, two for the soles of his feet, and two more went for the kill between his toes.

Danzaburo was utterly helpless. The 'attack' had breached through his defenses. Spy training had never incorporated tickle-resistance… if that was even a thing. He was laughing and trying to break loose of the vines at the same time, and it didn't seem to be working. He couldn't move his arms, but he could move his paws slightly, if he could just catch his breath for one moment he would be able to break free. He began swinging his katana on the tips of his claws, back and forth, while still being held down by the vines, he needed enough momentum to get to the kitsune. After an eternity of torture he released his grip, and let the katana swing at his opponent. The vines released their grip on him, and stopped the katana from moving any further, but Danzaburo had used that opportunity to free himself, and get out of the kit's reach.

By now Danzaburo needed a few moments to catch his breath, he had never expected something so ridiculous…

"What's the matter? Don't like the sound of your own laughter?" By now Zorori had managed to rip the tar off his paws, and was free of the tree.

"I don't see anything worth laughing at." Danzaburo replied. He blinked, his vision was going slightly off, for a second he thought he had pictured the kitsune with dark brown eyes.

"Just because you're the last of your kind, doesn't mean you have to be all sour."

"That's where you're wrong. Tell me, have you ever lost anything precious to you? A toy? A favorite book-"

"My father. He was killed trying to save your kind."

"Don't lie to me," he spat. "I was alive when it happened, nobody helped my kind. Not by word or deed. Fear was a large part of it, yes, but at the end of the day we were nothing more than a pest-"

"No. To some you were a huge part of their lives. My dad died trying to save his best friend. He gave his life and abandoned his son with some half-baked lie of going to fight in a war, he left his wife to look after the village and his son… for one of yours."

Danzaburo blinked… the kit had already proved himself a bad liar, and he doubted the tears were an illusion… so a kitsune had died trying to save a tanuki? What were the odds… "He went to save his friend, but did nothing when others were being killed around him. Deep down, he was selfish, he cared only for those he knew, and not of the children of my race, eh? Just one guy he happened to be close to."

Zorori wiped away his tears. "My dad died, helping one of yours. And now you're going to kill the rest of us?"

Danzaburo had been conflicted from the start of the fight, but now he was even more so. Could he live with all the guilt ? He would be killing hundreds of children too, he would be no better than Masuta at that rate…

"Well, I won't let you!"

Zorori charged forwards, swinging with nothing more than his frightening speed and his claws, he wasn't even going to try another tickle attack, he just went in and tried to cause pain.

Danzaburo sidestepped the swing, and kicked the kitsune hard on the rump, sending him flying into another tree-house.

The tanuki walked towards the house, he let his guard drop. The kitsune wouldn't be able to kill him even if he tried, and right now Danzaburo wasn't sure whether or not to kill him.

The tanuki opened the door. Zorori was waiting for him, and whacked him across the face with something long, flat and wooden. He then sent Danzaburo back out the door with a punch to the gut. Danzaburo landed on his feet, his paws skidding him to a halt.

Then Zorori emerged into the daylight.

"Secret Art of the Prank King: Chuugi of Eternal Pain!"

Danzaburo blinked. _He's… He's… He's like me… The harem technique… the Prank King… the tickling… and even the chuugi._

 _"Harem no jutsu !"_

 _The crowd of children laughed at the face their teacher had pulled. "Danzaburo-kun ! How many times have I told you to not appear as my wife !"_

 _"I didn't know she looked like that when she's not wearing clothes Ishiraku-senpai. You always say she's a model of perfection!"_

 _This brought even more laughter from the children, and made his teacher turn a violent shade of purple. "Danza-kun, you can spend your afternoon begging my wife's forgiveness for you insufferable tongue!"_

 _The young tanuki walked over to his teacher's wife at the end of school, and presented her a flower of illustrious beauty. "I am sorry for having dishonoured your name Imawani-sama. Please accept this flower as a token of my forgiveness, I hand-picked it!"_

 _"You are too kind Danza-kun!" She took the flower in her paw, and sniffed it._

 _Then another child walked past, while Danzaburo snickered. "Imawani-sama, why are you sniffing a chuugi ?"_

 _She blinked. "I-what! DANZA-KUN!"_

 _By now, all that was left of Danzaburo was the sound of his laughter._

 _"Ishiraku-senpai! I have discovered something so beautiful you will be amazed!"_

 _His teacher looked less than impressed when Danzaburo put a crown on his head._

 _"That was… unexpected. Now class, you may open your books to page twelve."_

 _The class did as they were bid, and much to their teacher's surprise a lot of laughing began breaking out._

 _"What's so funny?" He asked, flicking to page twelve of his own book. It was an image of him, with a large bottle of sake in one hand, and a glass of it pressed against his lips in the other. He looked right at Danzaburo, who twisted his crown around to show his teacher the kanji he had written on the back of it. They read out 'Prank King'._

 _"Ishiraku-senpai ! I have uncovered the greatest secret to oxen biology!"_

 _The teacher looked down at the small raccoon, grinning from ear to ear. "Danza-kun, you have pranked me so many times I'm already well aware of what your 'discoveries' entail. Please take seat and don't bother me again."_

 _Danzaburo looked downcast, and turned to his seat. "I just wanted to make you laugh…"_

 _"Well, then if it's just a joke you can say it."_

 _Danzaburo turned to the oxen. "I don't want to say it to the whole class." He said timidly._

 _Sighing his teacher bent down and tilted his head so that his ear was lying in reach of Danzaburo's mouth. Unfortunately, his armpit was also lying in reach of Danzaburo's paw._

 _"This will make you laugh Ishiraku-senpai!" And he began tickling the bovine's armpit._

 _Soon the whole class was laughing, though their teacher was doing it involuntarily…_

"Eat this!" Danzaburo was snapped back to reality when Zorori forced the chuugi down his mouth.

Danzaburo spat it out and wiped at his tongue. "That is unsanitary!"

"Don't worry, my mother made us burn all our used chuugis, still if you know what it's meant for, the same principles apply."

 _He's...if I tell Masuta-dono about this… he'll end up like me…_

Danzaburo caught his wrist. He was unable to prevent the chuugi from going up his nose, and glared at the kitsune, who was trying his hardest not to laugh.

"Kid, don't worry… the tanuki and kitsune… aren't as different as I thought."

Zorori looked confused. "Meaning!?"

"Meaning you don't have to worry about me anymore."

Zorori blinked. "Wai-what?"

"Sayonara !"

Zorori watched the chuugi clatter to the ground as with a cloud of smoke, Danzaburo had vanished. _Why didn't he just start with that?_

The kitsune shrugged, and turned to see how his mother was faring. If Danzaburo had wanted the kitsune killed he'd have left the second he had the chance...

* * *

 _Footnote: And that's this fight done ! A big thank you to Berserker88, both for inspiring it and for helping out with the details ! And he did some proof-reading and what-not. So yeah, thank him for that as well !  
_

 _I loved the whole process of writing it, and don't even get me started on Zorori's fighting style ! I think it's my favourite, as far as my OCs go anyways. Haven't had this much fun since Sanjay ! And while we didn't get to see Danzaburo use his signature technique (shapeshifting cough cough), I do promise that this is not his only fight in this story !  
_

 _Enjoy_


	19. A Past Life

_"The second test is somewhat more difficult... for you anyways. You never really had discipline, but we'll get there don't worry. Your task is to cut this cucumber exactly twenty five times!"_

 _Li I blinked. "What the hell ? How is that meant to teach me anything ?!"_

 _Mung looked slightly unhappy at having to explain further. "Discipline means self-control. In this case we're controlling your strength. You need to cut the cucumber twenty five times, in the exact same spot, which means that you have to hit it with sufficient strength to cut only so much, and not all at once."_

 _"That sounds easy-"_

 _"And you will be using this !" Mung handed him a fat cleaver about the size of the rat himself, it was so heavy Li I had difficulty lifting it._

 _"What the hell ?! How am I meant to not go through this thing with one swing !"_

 _"That Li, is the art of discipline. Go ahead, give it a try !"_

 _With some difficulty Li I lifted the cleaver above his head, and brought it down towards the cucumber. His paw slipped mid-swing and the cleaver flew through the air. It embedded itself into the wall just above Mung's head. "See, you're already getting the swing of things ! Anyways, I'll just let you work it out for yourself !"  
_

 _Li I cursed as the rat left. He pulled the cleaver out of the wall, and swung at the cucumber with one strong slice. The vegetable stood no chance, and it's opposing pieces fell off the stool, which the cleaver had now gotten itself wedged into. He pulled it out and went flying backwards from the momentum, crashing into a small sack, who's contents fell over. It was just a few rat-sized scrolls, and one book larger than Mung._

 _It was most likely some stupid cookbook, but curiosity got the better of him and Li opened it. It was far away from a cook book. It was... Mung._

 _The first page was an image. It was strange to see Mung at about his age. The rat was still fat, his belly hanging over loose pants, his face pressed into a grin as he clung onto the ears of an annoyed looking fox with a bruised face, all while standing on the vulpine's head. The fox himself also looked familiar, as if it was a face Li I knew, or should have known anyways. Next to them was a pig, wearing a bizarre looking crown of black iron, with a crippled arm and a cloak of black and red that hung from his crippled arm. He looked slightly annoyed. On the other side there was a smug looking golden takin that also looked awfully familiar. He was the most well-looked after on the photo, with fur that was both soft and elegant, and glowing like molten gold. In the corner there appeared to be a lynx, though it was hard to tell considering he was wearing a strange mask, with a hole for only one eye. However the position of his paws showed that he was nervous, Li I had seen that paw-sitioning on Flower often. Then standing at the back was someone else that looked so familiar Li I could have known their name. He was also a golden takin, and bore a close resemblance to the younger one. He was clearly a grown-up, with huge muscles and a hammer slung across his back. He was grinning from ear to ear, and his hooves were stretched over the photo, one on the lynx with the mask and the other on the crippled pig._

 _Li I turned to flip the page, but noticed Mung's paw on his shoulder. "It's rude to look through other people's stuff." Surprisingly he wasn't too annoyed. "Know who they are ?"_

 _"Well, that's you, and the fox is familiar, and I swear I know the takins from somewhere, but right now-"_

 _"The fox is now called General Red Fire, the older takin was Iron Hammer Senior, the younger takin is General Iron Hammer Junior."_

 _"Woah, woah, woah, woah ! You went to school with these guys !"_

 _"No, don't be ridiculous ! I trained with them back when I was in the Imperial Army. It was my orphanage's way of getting rid of me."_

 _"I knew you were an orphan ! But who are the other two ?"_

 _"The shy guy in the mask is Tiobo, he died a while back... and then there's San, no idea what happened to him though."_

 _"What happened to his arm ?"_

 _"Childhood accident." Mung replied, though clearly he wanted to change the subject._

 _"So you knew Red Fire ? Damn... how come you're working in an orphanage then ?"_

 _Mung shrugged. "We lost touch after Senior passed, we all kind of broke apart. I haven't heard from any of them in ages."_

 _"Damn... that must be sad, having to once be best friends with someone and then you just move on... I'll never let that happen !"_

 _Mung smiled. "Sometimes you don't have a choice with these things Li. They just... happen."_

 _"Yeah, well I won't let any of my friends leave !"_

 _Mung smiled. "I think I don't want to teach you discipline anymore, I'll just be wasting our time. Li I, from this day forth you are a student under my command !"_

 _Li I leapt into the air. "OOOOOOH YEAH BABY ! I'M GONNA LEARN KUNG FU AND KICK LEE'S ASS ALL THE WAY TO JAPAN !"_

 _At that point Mrs Yang walked in. "Um... am I interrupting something ?"_

 _"Nope !"_

 _"Nothing at all Miss Y !"_

 _"Li, I thought I told you to stop your use of vulgar language, and Mung... never call me that ever again. Do I make myself clear ?"_

 _"Yes Mrs Yang !" They chanted._

* * *

 _Footnote: A bit short, but considering the last chapter I don't think we're all too disappointed. Mung's backstory... I'd really love to expand on it a lot more, but I'll save it for another time. Probably around halloween, mainly because it's prequel stuff, and if I do prequel stuff too early, anything that happens after that might slightly be exposed, and wanting to keep some sense of mystery, I'll have to do it later on.  
_

 _Update soon !_


	20. A Test In Endurance

_"We're not getting anywhere, are we ?" Mung said, as Li I lay huffing and puffing on the floor of the dojo.  
_

 _Peng you was busy somewhere else, but Fidget had accompanied them 'for the bants', and Flower had his own lessons to attend to. Currently the bat was trying not to laugh at the way the Li I was pushing himself. Flower was watching with polite curiosity._

 _"We need to get your body used to doing things for long periods of times. A li isn't a large distance, but it ain't a walk in the park either. According to my calculations you can maintain your top speed for about twenty five seconds, pretty good, but not good enough. It would only take you about a third of the way. We need to triple your endurance if you want to win this race."_

 _"So you need me to keep on going, even after I reached my limit ? What do I look like to you ?"_

 _It had all sounded so simple..._

 _"Li, maybe you should take a break." Flower suggested._

 _"Yeah man, you look like you've been dragged through an anthill backwards !" Fidget agreed._

 _Li I slowly got to his feet, panting profusely. "If I take a break now, I will never break my record." Li I set off at a run around the dojo. he lasted about two seconds before he stopped. There was a stitch in his sides, as if a black hole was swallowing away everything he had in that part of his body. He placed a paw against the wall, and began panting even more. "I-I can't do it !"_

 _Mung looked down at Li... he too had once been pathetic at all things physical, as had his once-close friend... but they had both proved themselves with sheer force of will, all Li needed to keep going was a distraction. Right now his mind was telling him to give up, it's too hard and things like that... He needed to get Li so angry the rabbit didn't care about what his body was doing, and just... did it. He leaned over and whispered into Flower's ear. The skunk looked at him warily, but the fat rat just winked._

 _"Li, take a break. You're hopeless anyways."_

 _Li blinked. "W-what ?"_

 _"Let's say you somehow master endurance... by some half-baked miracle, let's even say the gods send a thunderstorm and take out all your competition, and you win by default, or that you actually win fair and square... it's all hopeless, because even if you succeed... your dad's never coming back. "_

 _Fidget gulped. "Mung, will ya relax a little ? That stings ya know ! It's not an easy thing to acce-"_

 _Li I glared at the bat until he cowered down. "I don't have anything to accept !"_

 _"Easy Li, just relax, deep breaths, it's not that serious it was just a slip of the-" Fidget gulped and got quiet. He wasn't exactly scared of Li, but as a fellow orphan he knew that Mung's taunt had struck deep._

 _"Yes you do. You need to accept your own loneliness." Mung taunted again."Besides, even if your dad did find you... would he want some loud-mouthed brat ?"_

 _Li I blinked._

 _"Nobody wants you Li, you'll be forever alone !"_

 _Li I snapped."And you'll be forever in pain !"_

 _Mung leapt off the stool just as Li I came in to tackle him, letting the rabbit harmlessly crash into the furniture. The rat stuck his tongue out at the enraged bunny, before scampering away as Li I dived for him.  
_

 _Mung then began running around the dojo, Li I hot on his trail. The rat made sure to keep his tail just out of Li's reach, and winked at Flower. For two whole minutes they ran around the dojo, Li I repeatedly running into the stool, and Mung mocking him at every step. After the fifteenth circle Li I finally turned to Fidget. The rabbit pretended to be catching his breath, taking deep breaths, before muttering 'help me' silently. Then the race continued when Mung picked up the stool and threw it at them.  
_

 _When Mung next passed Fidget, the bat predictably tried to jump on him. Mung jumped and picked up the stool with his tail, throwing it at Li, who was forced to jump, before spinning Fidget over and slamming the bat onto the ground. Li I landed right on top of him, his mouth kissing the bat's nose. Fidget went red again, and muttered something that sounded awfully like 'not again'.  
_

 _Li pulled himself off of the bat, wiping his mouth clean, before sitting down, he didn't seem to notice that he was sitting on Fidget. Panting and exhausted, he huffed and puffed._

 _Mung then placed his paw on the rabbit's shoulder. "Li... how do I put this bluntly ? You just ran at your top speed for two minutes straight !" The rat held out his paw for a high-five._

 _Li I instead tried to pounce on him, but instead ended up landing on the floor, much to Fidget's relief. "Y-you, just a-act like it's all-okay ?" Li I said, between pants. The stitch had opened again, and the black hole was sucking up all of his insides._

 _"I insulted you so that I could stop your mind from working. Pain is just a state of mind, so is exhaustion. I mean yeah your body can be all worn out, but there are ways of avoiding ever feeling like you're tired, and anger is one of the principal states of mind where you feel neither pain, nor exhaustion. Many techniques, even whole styles, require the user to completely fill themselves with anger."_

 _"So you want Li to go all rage mode on Lee ?" Flower asked. "That's not a very good idea..." The skunk muttered to himself._

 _"Well, Li isn't really built for this type of combat, I mean sure rage mode is great, but nearly all techniques end up with you so tired you can't move for days ! And because your mind prevents you from feeling pain, you may notice a wound too late to do anything about it !" Mung then waved his paws in the air. "I'm not teaching any of you real combat... not yet anyways. Self-defense sure, but offense not yet."_

 _Li I looked at his paws. "So I'm not an anger type... so what am I ?"_

 _"Weeeeell, considering your nature I would say misdirection would suit you, but I told you, I'm not teaching you guys anything yet ! Just basic health and fitness with a little self-defense and sparring on the side."_

 _Fidget got to his own feet. "So, you pissed Li off so that he would run around more than he actually could ? Wow, I never knew you were smart !"_

 _Mung glared at him, but then Li turned on the bat. "So you weren't in on any if it ? But you still said that I had to accept being lonely !?" The rabbit grabbed him by the scruff of the neck._

 _"Um, who says I wasn't in on it ?" Fidget chuckled nervously. "I knew what Mung was planning the second he stuck his tongue out at you !"_

 _Mung looked thunderstruck. "What ?! How did that give me away ?!" Then the rat gazed at his paws. "Was I doing some stupid hand-gesture ?"_

 _Flower watched the three of them. I guess they're all just as smart as each other..._

* * *

 _Footnote: Now that I did it it seems kind of pointless to post two separate and short chapters on the same day... but considering I might not have access to internet for a while I guess I could give this another update.  
_

 _Enjoy_


	21. Death of a Soncho

Badr stood, his arms and legs and tail pinned to his side by Zorari's duplicate. Zorari was looking at him.

Badr began his tale. "I was born the youngest son of Qadim Ajam, the White Walker of Wittam. You may have heard of him... he was quite famous a long, long time ago. My family were poor, so I entered a tournament, and won. I married into tge House of Tamod. My wife and I had one daughter... but she was killed. The House of Tamod have always married their children to the victor of the Five Tasks of the House of Tamod. I arranged that my daughter be allowed to choose her victor and future husband. The jealous rabbit lost halfway through and killed her with his mutant bear!"

That was bullshit... not even he could truly believe that. Could he?

"Your fight is none of my concern. You tried to destroy my village, you will be punished." She placed her paws together, the roots that made up the floor of the town had sprung up around Badr now, and were pulling him into the ground. Her duplicate vanished, and Badr was left with one paw to struggle with.

"NO! I can't-I won't die!"

"Oh by no means am I killing you. I am merely taking back what is mine. You destroyed this village, now your chi shall give me the strength to rebuild it all. I shall give your lackeys a fair trial, but you will never be seen or heard again." The roots were at his chest now, pulling him in deeper and closer to his grave, he was clawing desperately, but received no grip nor any mercy.

Li II was stunned, he couldn't believe his eyes... Badr had always acted like he was invincible...apparently he wasn't. The rabbit slunk away, he would not stay here, fair or not he did not have time for a trial.

Zorori turned the corner just as it happened. His cry of "Mom!" Came too late.

Zorari was staring at the blade sticking out of her chest with curiosity. Her robes grew red around the wound, she grew faint. Then the Thing threw her away as if she were nothing. She landed hard, and slipped down onto her back. The lion tore through the roots around Badr and pulled him free of his burial.

Zorori was watching with wide open eyes, tears welling up around them... this could not be...real. Badr stalked forwards and spat on the Soncho's now pale face.

"I will have my revenge, and none shall inter-"

"I will!" Zorori shouted, throwing a rock at Badr's head. The black cat turned around.

"Kill him." He ordered the thing. The wooden lion charged.

"No..." Zorari tried to call out. She had already been drained, she couldn't do anything. She felt helpless as her son stood his ground, the wooden lion rapidly approaching.

Kunjingle managed to get up and with the rest of his strength shielded the young kitsune from harm. The bear then fell to his knees, exhausted. The Thing went for his head- Li I blocked the blade with his fan, he couldn't keep this up any longer.

Zorari watched the strain. The determination in his eyes had not died out, but he lacked the strength to carry on. Zorari sighed. She knew this was it for her, she could only use her last moments to help them. She placed her paw on the ground, and used all the chi left in her body. She collapsed. Goodbye Zorori...I'm sorry it had to happen like this... after that she had no thoughts left.

Badr cackled with glea as the Deathworm broke through it's bonds and dove into the earth. He stopped laughing when he noticed the roots surrounding Zorori, Li I and Kunjingle.

"No! Thing get them!" But the thing was unable to follow that order, it couldn't even move. Badr charged, but it was too late, his fist hit the floor and they were gone.

He could not describe the anger he felt-the injustice. He had been so close again! It had been that woman. He turned to the kitsune and punched her limp form. Once, twice, again, and once more and again and again and again and again and one more time and again. "Thing, plunge your sword through her snout. That way she can't scream."

The lion did as he was bid. Zorari now was a bloody mess, her robes stained crimson, her muzzle almost cut in two by the lion's sword.

Han gasped. He blinked. That had happened to a black wolverine before in Tokyo, an orange jackal as well, but more recently. And Han Hoki Tokugawa Shinza Guan had seen it happen twice. But who was Han Hoki Tokugawa Shinza Guan? And why did that name sound so bloody familiar. Badr had killed someone... and he had helped. Without a word Han Guan pelted into the forest. He had helped kill her, blood was on his paws, he was a monster. He was a killer. He was crying, who was he? He ran head-first into a waiting fist, and knew nothing more.

* * *

 _Footnote: Kinda sad chapter, closer to the rest of my stories now. Is this the last of Zorari-no it is not, we still have to develop more on her past, but she is dead._

 _As for Han Guan, well now that some kind of trigger's been activated in his mind, let's see what'll happen._

 _So Li I, Kunjingle and Zorori have escaped Badr by an inch, Danzaburo is still around somewhere, Han Guan is going to have to go through a lot of emotional stuff and Li II has gone off who knows where? And what about the rest of the kitsune. Where did they run off to? And how are they meant to stay hidden from Daimyo Masuta._

 _I admit it feels like a rip off giving you such a short chapter after so long a wait, but it's been eventful. Thus ends the Kentikarukage Arc._


	22. The End of a Quest

Zorori was, for good reason, inconsolable. Zorari's dying Jutsu had taken them to a village Li didn't know the name of. They had been tired, weak and exhausted, and had found shelter with a family of rabbits. Zorori had been given a room with the rabbit's infant son, Lee Junior, who was shy and timid and looked up at them with large, timid eyes. He was mostly light brown, but a large patch of black lay around his left eye. He wore a thick, fat jumper, so big it fit him like a robe. His mother was called Sakamata, and had given them all the hospitality they could ask for. Her fur was a pure black, she wore a pink dress, with a large red fan nearly always in her paw. She had once been a sing-song girl, until her true love had set her free. She was exceptionally pretty, but kept on glancing at Li I like she knew something about him. Then there was Lee, a fat, round old rabbit, with a yellow sleeveless jumper and an odd purple skirt. He had come from the Land at War with the Waves, a remote part of China. He too had been incredibly kind, but kept on looking at Li I like there was something he wasn't saying.

A week had passed since their arrival. Zorori still hadn't left his room. The kitsune rarely talked, if asked something he wouldn't notice it until it was repeated several times. He had cried himself dry of tears on the first three days, where he had blown his nose all day on a woolen rag. It was traumatic to see the once-bubbly now-depressed fox walking around, meeting no eyes and dragging all ten of his tails behind him on the floor. Any mention of anything that had happened brought fresh tears. Kunjingle was also saddened by the Soncho's death, but put on a brave face so as not to further disturb their hosts. Li I was also sad, but felt guilt come over him rather than grief. It was his fault... he had brought Badr after him, and Zorari had died saving him... the one who had just ruined her and her son's life. He had explained the whole story to their hosts of course, save Lee Junior who was still too young to understand this. It was past mid-night, Zorori was fast asleep and Kunjingle too. Lee Junior was also resting, and Li I ended his tale. "And that's how it... happened." He finished.

Sakamata gave Lee a look. Lee's face was grim. "I have some things that need explaining." With a heavy sigh he stood up, and searched a chest. Nobody spoke. He held out a silvery-golden scroll for Li I to inspect. It was a summon, to the House of Tamod, for that year, in spring.

"Badr invited you to watch the matches?" Li I asked, stunned slightly.

"I competed alongside Badr in the House of Tamod he won. Regrettably I didn't do too good. He invited me to watch this tournament, after years of not speaking to him. Badr didn't win by cheating, many say it, but he didn't. He won fair and square, but what he did to win was...horrible. I blame the Drops, but he was unstable from the start. Now he's... insane." Lee sighed and put away the scroll. "He won't stay in place, he craves grandness. He can take Japan by storm if he tries hard enough, and I think it's likely he will."

"So we have to kill him." Li I said it easily, after all the cat had done he would make it pay.

"Don't chase revenge." Lee warned."Often times it doesn't lead to happiness, it fills you up, and makes you empty."

Li I frowned."It's not revenge so much as justice. I'll give him what he deserves."

"And you know what he deserves?" Lee asked quietly.

"To rot in hell!" Li I said, fire burning in his eyes, his paws scrunching up Badr's handwriting with avengeance.

Lee sighed."You are so much like your father..."

Li I stopped suddenly."You know my father?"

Sakamata rose and exitted in silence.

"No Li... I am your father." The fat rabbit said solemnly.

* * *

Danzaburo had finished his research... he closed the last manga and set it back on the table. Han Guan's old bedroom was as good as new. The hammock was neatly tidied, and even his clothes lay in neat and organized piles. The table though, that was a mess. There lay in heaps and clumps the entire Hanzomari-sama! manga series. All eighty-five vollumes of the tale. It had come out a long time ago, but everyone knew the story. It was, predictably, about Hanzomari, a folk hero of Japan. It told the tale of how he had been born, the son of a humble blacksmith, and had forged a sword the Demon King had wanted. The tale was long and complicated, and contained many, many characters and even the Demon King was somewhat likeable. In the end one of the smaller villains built his own blade and fought Hanzomari to the end. Without any hope of winning Hanzomari had, however, refused to give up, and protected his village no matter what. This show of love converted the Demon King to his side, and together they defeated the lesser villain, and forged a peace between the men and the demons.

Danzaburo had a plan. Badr was fast moving towards the town of Han's birth, Danzaburo had sent word to the Daimyo regarding the situation, but he had recieved no reply. His whole plan, however, centered on getting Han Guan on his side. He did not like Daimyo Masuta, but at least he was sane, besides he doubted Badr was any better. He closed the door behind him and walked off. He had to get Han Guan ready before the cat came.

* * *

"You can't be my dad!" Li I said, certain the old rabbit was pulling his ear. "I mean my dad's probably worried sick about where I am right now, and Sakamata's not my mum!"

"No...she's not." Lee rose and turned back to his chest, removing an old scroll. He unfurled it. There were three figures. One was an infant Li I, grinning like there was no tommorow. There was Lee, smiling, shirtless, his arms around another rabbit. She looked more of a thug than a mother, with a broken nose, ears that stretched to her knees, a flat face, curled buckteeth-

Li tore his eyes away from the photo. He couldn't believe this...

"I'm sorry I never came for y-"

Li I exploded. "I spent my whole life looking for you! I never gave up, I pushed through it all! I did it all for you! To know you! To meet you once and for all! And for what!? So that I could learn you moved on from one family to ANOTHER ONE!?" Li was breathing heavily. "You could have been blunt! Why didn't you tell the orphabnage you didn't want me !? Why let me waste my life for YOU!?"

Li I threw the scrunched up invitation of Badr's right at Lee's face. He needed to hit something, he was angry, he was guilty and he was crying. Zorari had thrown her life away, so that he could meet a selfish,no loving father who had forgotten all about him.

"Li...let me explain..."

Li I didn't want to hear him talk. Without another word he stormed out of the room.

Zorori was awoken by the sound of Li I shouting. The last week had been the worst of his life. He had not felt this sad since his dad had left. He had cried himself to sleep, every night for a month, but back then he still had his mum to molly-coddle him, and help him through it all. He had been a difficult child, but he regretted that now... He'd have given anything in the world for another day with his mum, just so she could know that despite everything, he loved her, and missed her and...needed her. He found himself crying again, and buried his face in the pillows.

Kunjingle came in and closed the door behind him. Zorori was crying again... He lifted the kitsune onto his lap as he sat down, letting the ten tails cry into his chest, while the bear patted his back soothingly, as if in his own way he was saying 'there, there'.

Badr's claws were caked in blood. Behind him stood the remains of the Village of Iwa. Now that there was no need for subtelty he could travel faster. His Deathworm had laid waste to the village, and after such a long time curled up in a tiny pendant it had worked a monstrous appetite. Badr had spent an enjoyable afternoon, finishing off people and throwing them for his worm to devour. This was the first show. Iwa had been a small village, it's destruction would raise suspicion, but Badr didn't want suspicion. He wanted to be noticed. He would destroy the Guan Clan and their town, then someone would notice and send an army after him, which he would then obliterate. He would spare one soldier, and force them to demand Badr be given an audience with the Daimyo. If the Daimyo listened they could form an alliance, if not then he would kill him and seize his forces. Some lordling wishing to seize power would come along and swear fealty to Badr, who would reward him grandly. Others would see and catch on, and soon he'd have united Japan against China. After that he would march to the Imperial City and lay seige. He would win, of course, and then the rest was simple.

But first up was the Guan Clan and whatever their town was called.


	23. The Great Li Race I

**A/N: Damn, I'm on fire today. I uploaded three out of four stories I'm working on and am halfway through a Halloween special. Its a pitty I can't do something like this everyday... Then again if I did Mind Jack wouldn't be the only one trying to catch up XD. Also this chapter is split half prequel half sequel, prequel is in italics, the next chapter is also the same and then there are a bunch of fights and then there's the epilogue. And then I can start the Heist's rework and still be working on all four stories at once. And did I mention I have 'important' exams this year?**

Li I kicked hard at the first piece of furniture he met, and promptly hopped up and down on one foot, clutching his agonized foot. His fur was hot with anger, his blood was boiling and he was downright surprised that steam was not hissing out of his ears. He had spent his whole life searching for his father. He had done everything with that single-minded goal to push him forwards. And now that he had achieved that goal… He had gone and wasted so much time. He could actually be doing something worthwhile, and not questing after some fat useless bunny who never wanted him.

He heard footsteps behind him, and Lee walked in, looking cautious.

Li I ignored him,and continued rubbing at his foot.

"Li… I know I haven't been fair to you-"

Li snorted. Then said. "Can anyone hear a voice or is it just me?"

Lee looked at the ground and bit his lip. "It was your mother's wish." He said sullenly. "The only reason they raided our village was coz I was nosing around on some things I shouldn't have known. Well they caught me, but I got away. Then I went home and…." He shuddered and lowered his head so Li couldn't see his eyes. "They followed me. It was painful, she took an arrow to the chest, was bleeding out in my paws and made me promise I'd take you somewhere where you couldn't be hurt. I left you nothing to know me by. I wanted you to forget… To not come after me. I watched her die Li… I couldn't let that happen to my baby boy." His eyes were tearing up.

Li I didn't want to forgive him, but he had seen death and felt it… It wasn't pretty and knowing that he moved closer so he was next to Lee, patting his back. So… His father had cared but not trusted himself to look after the boy. And his mother wanted a nice simple life for him.

"What was she like?" Li I asked, his curiousity burning.

"A guy." Lee said, shaking his head and fighting back tears as he laughed at his own joke. "Loud, violent, rude… Mind you that was her way with all people. Not really pretty, but noone would say that to her face."

He had always imagined his father as some kind of hero, and his mother a beautiful girl he found on the road… Turns out it was more like the other way round. Only neither were pretty. Where had his solid good looks come from?

"What about Sakamata… Where did she come from?" Li I asked quietly.

Lee looked guilty. "I loved your mother Li… But she wasn't the one that really wanted me. Sakamata there is the reason we even ended up together, but I never seemed to notice that she... Liked me more than a lot. I think I broke her heart when I left, but then I came back with a broken heart and she was there to help. Great girl she is… Really great. She was a sing-song girl and I tried to buy her. They refused so I rescued her, we've been together ever since. I know you might be angry-"

He wasn't angry. He didn't know what a sing-song girl was, but Sakamata was a nice person. Anyways he didn't really care that his dad remarried. Love was complicated sometimes.

"Just one more thing. You knew where I was. Why didn't you ever tell me? Anything? No word, no visit. I can't believe my mum would tell you to dump me and go away."

"I did come… Many times. I knew your head, Miss Yang. She didn't know who I was, thought I wanted to adopt you I think. But she always told me about you and your stories. The time you set fire to the kitchens, the time you put the inspector into a comma. I remember them all. I came and saw your race as well. Nice trick with the peppers by the way."

* * *

 _"Aaaand done! Congratulations Li you can run like the wind!" Mung cheered, running over and high fiving the bunny._

 _Li I grinned from ear to ear, looking proud and puffing his chest out. He had made rapid progress and the race was two days away. He could keep at his top speed now for over a li, and from the ugly looks Lee kept giving him was definitely going to do well._

 _First, I'll come first and my dad will come and then we can go and be a family._

 _Fidget was also in the race, though he was unbothered and vowed to walk all the way, without even trying to run._

 _"After all it's best for last isn't it?"_

 _It wouldn't be too hard to win, after all it was mainly for the town to see what a wonderful job the orphanage was doing. The inspector had awoken from his comma, and would be seeing the race along with Mrs Yang who insisted he did, so that he wouldn't have time to finish his report/rant about the orphanage until after the whole town had seen how wonderful they were. That way there was no way anyone would shut down the orphanage._

 _Li was a tiny bit nervous. The whole village had all come out to watch, or were peering out of windows as the celebrations began,despite Li not knowing what celebration it was. The first was the Water section doing a song and dance piece that was incredibly catchy, and also annoying. Then the three other sections gave a speech about how Suna was so amazing and that they would love to stay. The older children spoke of future plans and other long boring stuff. Li was getting more and more nervous by the second and was going into a panic attack. What if he fell and hurt himself? What if he didn't win? What if he was too slow and Lee won? What if- heart hammering Li stumbled to his feet and caught sight of the food table. He crept over and stuffed the first thing his paw touched into his mouth. It was a mistake to not look at what he had eaten as it was hot. It burnt the inside of his mouth and bit at his tongue. His insides burnt all over, and then came the announcement that made his heart jump in panic and excitement._

 _"And now the Fire Section is going to have a race, from here to the other end of the village."_

 _Li felt himself freeze. The time had come._

* * *

 _Footnote: A bit short but I'm happy. Regrettably though the prequel part to this story is soon ending. I was thinking of writing some more stuff about the orphanage in another story called 'Suna's Orphanage' which I guarantee will be one hundred percent comedy._

 _In the meantime enjoy._


	24. The Great Li Race II

_"Li , are you okay?"_

 _The rabbit was huffing and puffing the air, trying to get something cool into his mouth. His tongue had gone limp and was lolling out the side of his mouth, his eyes were watering and he looked like he was in extreme pain. He turned to Fidget and threw an unconvincing thumbs up._

 _"On three!"_

 _He was so dazed he hadn't heard a thing._

 _"Two!"_

 _He spun on the spot._

 _"Three!"_

 _And everyone started running, except Fidget, who, true to his word, walked with deliberate slowness, and Li who dived in the wrong direction-into a barrel of milk. Soon nobody was paying attention to the race and Lee who was far ahead of the others, they all turned and laughed to see Li, drinking up his bath of milk. Even Fidget turned to look back at them, before scampering off after the other runners._

 _The burning in his mouth died down, and Li tried to hop out of the barrel, instead he knocked it on it's side, covering Mrs Yang and the inspector in milk. The barrel then began rolling down the race track, Li's yells sounding thoroughly over-exited._

 _Fidget turned again to see the barrel hurtling towards him. He was fast enough at jumping to the side, Li I instead knocked over a bunch of other kids, and continued hurtling ahead. Li I's screaming had stopped, perhaps it was because he was too dizzy to continue or feared puking._

 _Mung and Flower were waiting at the finish lines when they saw Lee sprinting towards them. Both looked thoroughly disappointed and their faces visibly dropped. Then a barrel came into view, rolling very quickly towards them, they looked to each other as if expecting an explanation. Lee must have noticed they were looking behind him, for he turned his head to see the rapidly rolling barrel cutting the distance like a hot knife through butter. Eyes widening he flattened himself against the wall of a house as the barrel sailed past, tearing off his clothes as it narrowly missed him. The barrel crashed into a wall and exploded into a hundred shards of wood. Li I got to his feet, spinning on the spot, looking incredibly dazed and confused. Then everyone cheered. Or at least Mung and Flower did, closely followed up by most of the town. Lee looked like he wanted to utter a disgusting swear word, but clad in only underwear he was not going to drag attention to himself. He didn't, until Fidget caught sight of him and started shrieking with laughter, people turned to the noise and errupted into their own laughter, Lee then pulled Fidget into a headlock and laughed as the bat wheezed an apology._

 _Li I however hadn't noticed much. He was still spinning round, his head was dizzy and his insides all felt dislocated. It had still not occurred to him that he had won the race, or that Flower was holding a vase in outstretched arms in case he needed to abruptly empty his stomach. Or that Mung was telling anyone who would listen that he had taught Li that move. Or the inspector looking rather ashamed and paying Mrs Yang in compliments, while she insisted to buy him lunch for ruining his appearance with the milk barrel._

* * *

Li was staring at the grinning old bunny that was his dad, who despite his smile had a worried look in his eyes.

"Look, it doesn't matter. I found you now and I still have plenty-"

Lee then threw him into a hug. "That's my boy! I was so worried you were gonna leave me again. I couldn't bare to loose you. Not after what happened last time. I'm sorry Li!"

And Li returned the hug. It wasn't quite as magical as the reunions he had imagined earlier, but this was better. This time it was real.

Zorori coughed to make his presence be known. "It's all very touching." He said in a voice that was quavering. "But I thought you'd like to know that I'm leaving."

"What?!" Li exclaimed, looking incredulous.

"I going to kill Badr Tamod." He said, with no joke nor sarcasm in his voice.

"B-but you can't! He killed your mum-"

"That's why I'm going to kill him. I'm glad you found your family Li-sama, but I'm the last in mine. I'm going to kill the two people who stole my parents. Badr Tamod and Daimyo Masuta."

"But they'll kill you!" Li snapped. "Your mum didn't die for you to throw your life away!"

"No, she died trying to save her village. My kind can only flourish if people understand our power. And leave it alone. I will make an example of them all and make them suffer for all to see. Then my clan will be-"

"Killed by those loyal to them. Revenge is a never ending cycle kid. You kill one guy and someone else will want to kill you for doing that. You can never find peace that way." Lee said soothingly.

"I don't want peace! I want them dead!"

Then Zorori came into view behind Zorori. Li and Lee's eyes widened.

The first Zorori was none the wiser and continued talking. "I will kill Badr, and you and your fat rabbit friend!"

"...You sound nothing like me!" Snapped the real kitsune. "I'm going through grief not a kill-phase! Though, I wouldn't mind killing Badr..."

'Zorori' turned to the kitsune, before he stared at the pair of rabbits. "This isn't working is it?"

"No, it's not." Said all three.

"Fine then!" There was an explosion of smoke, and Li I had no time to react as his twin launched at him. The two went rolling back across the floor under a table. Li I kicked Li II off of him, and rolled to the other side of the table. Both rose to their feet, staring at each other from opposite sides of the furniture.

Zorori blinked at the pair of identical bunnies. "Er.. did I miss something?"

The Lis ignored him. "How did you do that? I'm not a shape shifter!" The rabbit stared at his paws in awe. "Or am I?"

"You're not." Li II and Zorori said, utterly deadpanned.

"Then how come _you_ did that thing?" Li snapped, his one-second dream of having latent supernatural powers being unceremoniously crushed.

"Well I'm not you! I'm just chi aren't I? Which means I can take any form I want!"

"So you pick Zorori? Lame!"

The kitsune looked stricken. Lee continued to look confused.

"I was trying to sneak up on you!" Suddenly both darted for the other. Their paws were a pair of blurred fists that lashed out in identical and opposite motions, so that every attack was met halfway. It looked very much like a slapping contest.

 _I need to improvise..._ Taking a leaf out of Peng You's book (and the pig had a lot of them) he swept his foot behind his clone's before barging forwards, throwing Li II off balance.

"Pick Kunjingle next time! Honestly, I'm not this stupid." He said, launching a pair of darts at himself... Well... A copy of himself. Li II rolled backwards and got to his feet. He picked up a vase and hurled it at Li I who dodged nimbly. Lee dived and just managed to catch the vase.

"Yeah you are!" Li I pressed the attack, continuously jabbing at his opponent, leaving Li II to rely on mere taunts.

"Am not!" The rabbit was having none of it, and landed a particularly vicious kick into his duplicate's middle. He knew it was vicious for it hurt him too.

"But you're me aren't you?" Li II snapped, rising to his feet and charging forwards to continue fighting.

"No! You're me! I'm the real Li!" Their fight had brought them to the kitchen now. Upon kicking each other off the two assumed identical stances.

"You mean the _original_ Li! Well guess what? I'm the better Li!"

"No! You're like the sequel, which is always worse than the original!"

"Actually it's the second sequel that sucks! The original sequel is ways better than the original!"

"Oh yeah?" Li I's eyes searched for a suitable projectile until they settled on a bright red aubergine.

"Hell yeah!" Li II was still oblivious to the danger.

"Well then, eat eggplant lesser me!" The rabbit shot forwards, snatched up his makeshift weapon and hurled it at his opponent.

Li II ducked with ease. "Ha! You missed! Junior Dart Champion my fluffy tail!"

Li I promptly flew, foot-first, into his opponent. "You mean _my_ fluffy tail!"

Both rolled backwards into the living room. Li I was thrown off by his clone, who promptly snatched up a pillow. Li I had the same line of thought and both leapt towards each other, weapons raised. Both collided mid air, and fell to the ground. The original Li hurled his cushion like a frisbee, but his duplicate blocked it by using his own pillow as a makeshift fan.

"You can't defeat me!" Li II cackled as he dodged another one of Li's attacks. The rogue clone promptly slammed both feet into the rabbit's side, throwing Li I across the room.

"I'm pretty sure I'm winning." Both rabbits were rubbing the latest bruise. Which gave Li an idea. "But you're right. Beating you is difficult. Beating me is easy!"

"Huh?"

Li I promptly ran directly into a wall. His clone felt that, but so did he. He had almost broken his nose! "And there's more where that came from." He punched himself as hard as he could across the face.

"Stop! Stop hitting yourself!" Cried Li II as Li I's fist continued to slam into his various body parts.

Kunjingle walked in, looking tired and blinking blearily at the pair of rabbits.

"Jingles! Tense!" Shouted one, who promptly sprinted towards him.

"No! Don't tense! Don't tense! It'll hurt!"

The bear was unsure who to believe, they did after all look and sound and smell the same. Still, not tensing was a safer option. Li I realized this, and changed tack. The rabbit jumped and rolled over mid-air. He bounced off of the bear's flab and shot backwards, like an arrow released from a bow string.

Li II shrieked, unable to avoid Li I's incoming attack. They crashed hard against each other, and rolled across the floor before coming to a halt at the foot of a wall.

"Get in!" The original rabbit slammed his paw against his clone's forehead.

"No! I wanna be free."

"But you're me!"

"And you let me die!"

Li I blinked. "I'm sorry. But you don't even have a soul."

"So?"

"So you can't die! Duh!" Their eyes began to glow orange, and (with a cry of pain that was greatly exaggerated) Li II began to disintegrate into little pieces of orange light, which flowed like a raindrop to a river, into Li I. With a great groan Li fell back, whole once more. "That hurt."

"So your duplicate tried to kill you? You didn't tell me you could split in two!" Zorori sounded strangely excited. It was only strange because he hadn't seen the fox smiling in what felt like ages.

"I need to give that move a rest. Li II needs a time out." The rabbit said, rising to his feet and rubbing his forehead.

Lee looked at the spot where Li II had been. "If he knows you're here, then doesn't that mean Badr Tamod's on his way?" He sounded very worried, but before anyone could answer Sakamata hurried in.

"Um there's a message. All nearby villages are to evacuate. Clan Guan is under attack."

There was a very tense silence after those words. Then they all errupted into shouts.

It seemed however that none of it was discernible and a moment later there was silence again.

Kunjingle broke it. He made a sound like a whiste and a click, stomped his left foot three times, patted his belly and roared.

Lee, Zorori, Sakamata and Lee Junior blinked stupidly. "He says that me and him should go, it's our fault Badr's here anyways." Li I translated.

"I'm going too. I know Badr, I failed long ago to stop him. Now I will put that right. Sakamata take the kids and g-"

"You can't stop me from going!" Zorori and Sakamata both shouted into his face.

"He killed my mum! If anyone deserves to give him a good thrashing it's-"

"I can't look after Lee Junior while worrying about you! Guess who's coming?"

" _Me_!" They both shouted.

Lee saw that he had lost and added weakly. "What about our son?"

All eyes turned to Lee Junior. "I suppose he wants to come too?" Li said drily.

* * *

 _Footnote: And now it's just the action chapters left! :D_

 _Enjoy_

 ** _Edited Note: Honestly speaking I was very satisfied with this story already, so there was no real need to remove/replace much. Some of it is a bit cringey and I had to clear up some spelling errors and grammatical errors, but this is the one thing that I wanted to edit above all else. Mainly because, Han Guan gets to fight Badr and Kunjingle is the MVP in the Battle for Clan Guan, so I think it's only fair that Li gets his own 1 v 1. So yes, hoped you enjoyed this new revamped fight scene._**


	25. Before the Battle

_Han Guan shoved to the back of the class, found the table furthest away from everyone else and sat there. The other kids filed in dutifully, chattering loudly and taking seats close to the front. Professor Inzo gave the class a lecture about the creation of the world, and then made them all write a more creative version._

 _Han Guan didn't budge. He was slouching, his paw pressed against his cheek to prevent his head from falling. He was bored and looked visibly depressed. Professor Inzo wanted to ask what was wrong, but decided against it. Han Guan had always been unpopular and a victim for bullying, but normally he would be trying his hardest in class, in an attempt to bring honor to his clan. He was obsessed with the idea. Deciding he would ask later Inzo scolded Hung, who had written a kanji so badly it looked like a vicious swear word. Han Guan lay there, his head on the table, looking thoroughly miserable. Inzo let the class go early, and watched Han Guan stand up, and with deliberate slowness pack away his things. Inzo frowned, the children had left. It was just him and Han Guan._

 _"Sit." He ordered. The brown furred wolverine's ears drooped,and he sat down again, as if expecting a scolding._

 _"Han-kun, I am disappointed in your efforts today. I expect better work tomorrow, understood?"_

 _Han Guan nodded slightly._

 _"Is something wrong Han-kun? You're a great deal more depressed than the last time. Come on. You can tell me."_

 _"It's all pointless Inzo-sama. I will never amount to much no matter what I do. I am a bastard and have brought dishonor to my clan even if I try my hardest not to. And nobody even likes me, they just think I'm a stupid, clumsy c-"_

 _Inzo stopped him. "Wait here." He stood up and went over to his desk, where he shuffled papers and heaved books in search of something. Then he pulled out an old and tattered copy of a manga. "This Han Guan is your new project. You will read the whole series, and then come to me. Then we can discuss your lack of enthusiasm."_

 _Han Guan looked at it and frowned. There was smith making a sword on the front page, and large golden kanji that wrote 'Hanzomari-sama!'_

 _"It's a manga." Han Guan said, looking at it with complete disinterest._

 _"Just give it a try." His teacher told him with a friendly pat on the shoulder._

* * *

"They say there are soldiers sent from the Daimyo guarding the city, in addition to Clan Guan, many of the townsfolk escaped, but many are missing still."

"Daimyo Masuta?" Zorori asked, failing to sound casual. "Those men wiped tanuki off the map. It's why they made Kentikarukage." He sounded sullen, but there was a quiver of fear. His tails were shaking, a cold sweat was on his brow.

Kunjingle, while running (several feet behind the smaller, quicker mammals), grunted, coughed and spat.

"He says that they'll be too busy dying to count your tails." Li I translated.

Zorori grimaced. "That's not what I'm scared of.

* * *

 _Several hours earlier…_

* * *

They marched into the city, an entire squadron. One hundred swords, one hundred archerers, and at their front were two captains. One was a tall, muscly, well built cat, twin katanas strapped across his back. The second was a large spider crab,, his bright red shell covered in hundreds of scars. His cold, pale eyes were a harsh difference to the warm green of the feline next to him.

"Guan-sama, these are the Daimyo's men. Ordered to protect from invasion." The wolverine was shaking like a leaf.

Miss Guan rose, and held out her paw. Lead me to their captains.

She poked them with the stick, prodding their armour until she got a good measure of them. "What does Daimyo Masuta want with my humble clan?"

"Humble, eh? Looks like your whole family turned up." The cat replied. Then as an afterthought added. "Guan-chan."

Many clansmen winced, some looked infuriated. Miss Guan smiled. "You flatter me, but I'm not a young girl. Indeed, my whole family turned up to have a look at you. We are a curious clan, now be a good kitten and tell us."

"Ignore him. The promotion has gotten into his head. He forgets his place. We are here to protect this town-" The spider crab butted in.

"But this town has entrusted that duty to my clan, and we have been doing it quite well, I like to think so anyways, why the sudden need for protection?"

"Whole villages have gone missing. Few survivors, and all are saying it's some kind of monster. We are tasked with protecting you-"

The elderly wolverine chuckled. "I am touched, truly. You may search under every bed and slay this monster. Tell me is it more or less vicious than the tanuki?"

There was a tense silence. Noone had protected the tanuki, but Clan Guan had been amongst those that protested against the move.

"We will follow our orders. Allow us to stay a fortnight-" The cat said after a while.

"Do not make demands. You may stay, and catch your monsters." She then turned to her clan. "You will treat them like honored guests while they are here on their 'monster hunt',however I do not wish the children to delude themselves. There is no monster." She then tapped away with her blind stick, the crowd parting for her.

Of course describing her clan as humble was a lie. They had their katanas polished, their armour scrubbed spotless. Many wore their scales, and the sigil of their clan, three long gashes on a piece of wood. Some wore helms, large scaly things that left no part of their head unprotected. Most had bows, however, and a quiver of arrows at their side, bouncing off their hips. Every child had been polished as well, scrubbed clean so hard they could be heard complaining loudly about it, and rubbing sore limbs. Miss Guan sat down in meditation. Her clan was amongst the oldest and strongest in the region, second only perhaps to the Silver Fang, she was certain that whatever these soldiers were sent to fight, her clan would be able to handle it.

* * *

Han Guan's eyes slid open as a groan left him. He felt dizzy and there was a pain in his head that wouldn't leave, a kind of throbbing, like there was a heart pumping in his skull. He got to his feet, the wind howling dangerously around him. That was when he realized he was standing on a pole, high over the ground. Below him were clouds, and the wind roared around him like a hungry crow. His fur rustled around him, and he caught another sickening look down the pole, to the ground far below. He flattened himself on the pole, breathing heavily. Something about the height had scared him. There was a strong kind of pain in his chest. It didn't truly hurt, but it was pain, like he had lost feeling in a limb, or had a gaping hole where his heart was meant to be. He remembered laughter, the innocent laughter of children, and his claws stuck to a tree, no, not his claws, the claws of a young pup, who had needed help climbing. Han's eyes snapped open at a voice he knew.

"Han-kun, wake up."

* * *

 _Footnote: It's not climax time yet! :D But after next chapter I think you'll see why this was all necessary._


	26. Manga Brought To Life!

The wind howled around him, Han Guan clung on tightly to the pole, his head peering out in search of the voice.

Standing slightly in front of him on an opposite pole was a godly being, huge, bulging muscles, black, inky fur hung around him like a cape. He stunk of power and magic, and peered at the wolverine with large icy blue eyes. "Han-kun, look at me!"

Han Guan obeyed, transfixed by the seemingly magical being towering over him. "Who are you?" He was familiar, awfully familiar, someone he should know.

The figure chuckled. "How could you forget me? I am Tsuchikozu! Lord of Winter!"

Something was gnawing at the back of Han Guan's head, like something was looking for attention within him.

"I don't remember." Han Guan mumbled, a strong gust of wind pushed Han off his pole, so that he was clinging to it for dear life. The pole was crumbling slightly.

Then Hanzomari came into view, one arm thin and crippled, the other thick with muscles. The pig chuckled. "Remember me Han-kun?"

The gnawing was growing stronger, so much so that it was beginning to feel somewhat painful.

"NO!" Han yelped, his head coming close to a migraine. The pole suddenly crumbled entirely and Han Guan was hurtling through space, he landed on a cloud, which somehow managed to hold his weight. He was shaking, the pain in his head was growing stronger.

And then a head popped out of the cloud. It was a black furred wolverine, wearing a grin from ear to ear. "Han Guan! You remember me right? I'm your cousin!"

"I d-d-don't have a-" Han Guan swung, his fist sailed through the face, he then got to his foot and threw a chunk of cloud at Hanzomari. It hit the pig in the gut, his eyes became dark brown for a split second, before he caught a roundhouse kick to the head. The pig had become a tanuki, who whipped out a leaf from his mouth, in a puff of smoke it shifted into a katana.

"I don't have a cousin!" Han Guan snapped.

Danzaburo rolled his eyes. "You have at least a hundred cousins Han-kun."

Han Guan charged and swung at the tanuki. Damzaburo dodged but was promptly backhanded when the wolverine's paw unexpectedly came back to whack him in the face. Before Danzaburo could react the wolverine swung again, but this time Danza dodged and bought himself some time with a tar bomb. Clearly the Guan's Tail wasn't as incompetent as he sounded. The wolverine brought his paw down in a karate chop, Danzaburo sidestepped it, and tapped the wolverine's scar with his katana. Before Han Guan could react Danzaburo kicked him backwards, where he landed on what appeared to be a less soft cloud. He then morphed into the first form he could think of.

Han Guan blinked as a nude tanuki winked at him in an exotic pose. He then slammed his eyes shut. "Sorry fair lady-chan for catching you in such a-"

Danzaburo nailed him in the gut, shutting him up. Then changed into a more respectable form, a large brown sun bear with a patch of yellow fur on his chest made into the shape of the sun. Han Guan stared up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Do I know you?" He asked.

Danzaburo opened his mouth to reply, but remembered that the bear didn't talk. Instead he smacked his stomach, yawned and clapped. Han Guan promptly smacked him across the face.

"Don't you dare say that about my mother bear-kun!"

Danzaburo returned the slap, and knocked Han back several feet. The wolverine bounced to his feet, his claws extending. He charged at Danza-jingle, and slashed at his stomach. The bear tensed, but the attack sliced off some fur anyways and scratched his gut. Unfortunately any technique he used while shapeshifting, would end up slightly less powerful than the original. He untensed, grabbed Han Guan and bounced his belly forwards, sending him flying backwards. Still it was like a slightly less sharp sword.

Han Guan landed on his feet, and charged again. He had recognized the bear, perhaps the bunny too?

"Hey, do I know you?"

"Yes you do! Han snap out of whatever-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you!"

"No I don't! I don't know any rabbits." Danzaburo sighed as Han Guan swung. He ducked under and launched a few darts at the wolverine, with only enough force for it to cause slight annoyance rather than full on pain. He slid under the wolverine and chopped at the back of his knees. Han fell flat on his back.

Lizaburo hopped up and started smacking Han's face left, right and center. "Snap out of it Han! Listen to me!"

Han Guan spat in his face, and threw him off.

Lizaburo rolled to his feet, frowning. Then he decided that one sure-fire way to snap Han out of Badr's spell was his own mother.

Han Guan got to his feet again, his head felt like it was splitting in two. Then he found his mother staring at him. He blinked stupidly as Miss Guan gave him a long look.

Then the pain in his head left suddenly, leaving him dizzy. He blinked in surprise. Then waves of memories swept through him. He had died, been ressurected, served Badr and-he was home. And-

"Mama!" He launched himself at Miss Guanzaburo, knocking the shapeshifting off and accidentally crushing the tanuki as he rolled on top of him. He was then kicked away by the Spy of a Thousand Scents. Danzaburo got to his feet, and morphed into Hanzomari.

"Han Guan! You must return home, and warn your clan of the imminent arrival of Badr Tamod and his minions!"

"Hanzomari-sama? Oh my god! I am your biggest fa-" Han Guan scrambled to his feet.

"Silence! You must do as I asked immediately!"

Han Guan nodded and saluted. Then hunched slightly. "Um, what am I meant to do?"

* * *

"Shizu Guan. Crippled by his own cousin the way some people tell the tale."

Shizu sat on a chair, his legs limp and dangling in front of him. His fur was pitch black and he wore the symbols of Clan Guan all over his kimono. He was exceptionally ugly, with a squashed face and large nose, with eyes that always seemed on the verge of popping out. He grinned. "I heard you met Han on the road recently. I also heard he beat you up."

The badgers frowned. "Han Guan beat us up yeah, he's also the reason you can't use your legs. Looks like he beat you up!"

"He was always accident prone." Shizu pondered softly. He shrugged. "I hope he's fine. Stupid or not he was my cousin."

"Yeah, I think he's already left Japan."

"Quickest ship back to the black corner he came from."

Shizu glared. "It's because people treated him like you did that he ended up the way he is!"

Hung looked like he wanted to say something, but then Han Guan turned the corner, utterly out of breath.

It was extremely hard to tell which of the four faces was more surprised. The last time Shizu had seen his cousin he had been crippled from the hips down, the last time Han Guan had seen Shizu he had been too scared to help him fight a known criminal on a rooftop and had fainted when the wolverine's muzzle had been stabbed through. The last time the badger twins had seen Han Guan he had been pulverizing the pair of them.

Shizu forgot that his legs were useless and tried to stand up, only to collapse back onto his chair. "Han…" he was stunned, what was he meant to say? Was he supposed to be angry? Overjoyed? Excited? Sad?

Han himself seemed to be having the same dilemna, judging from the way he opened and closed his mouth.

The badgers had practically been forgotten.

"Hey!"

"We're here too!"

"Yeah! Don't forget us!"

Han and Shizu both turned on them. "Can't you see we're having an awkward reunion here!" They both snapped at them.

Then Han Guan found his voice. "I'm sorry.. I know I should have tried to h-"

"Forget it Han! It's okay to be scared. Damn it's been so long." His eyes darted to the scar on Han's stomach. "Where have you been?"

Han remembered his fight with-what the hell had he been fighting?-and more importantly what his childhood hero had told him to do. He swallowed.

"So there's this madman that hates everything that breathes and he kinda wants to kill everyone, so I think it's important that we er- evacuate everyone before be shows up?" For a horrible moment it looked like no-one was going to believe him, then Shizu turned to the badgers.

"Spread the word."

* * *

 _Footnote: And next chapter the climax begins. I look forwards to writing it immensely. This will be the first 'battle' of the series, and seeing as I'll have a lot of those to write in the future... Let's just hope my writing stays decent so I can give you all a satisfying finish._

 _Tsuchikozi and Hanzomari-sama both are characters from Han Guan's favorite manga. While I don't think any of today's titles existed back then I am sure that manga was invented. Either way with all the magic in this story and the rest in the series the invention of manga is the least of our worries._


	27. Bloody Chaos

It was lucky, Han realized that Clan Guan was already assembled. They wouldn't have done so at his command.

"Badr Tamod is coming. He is brutal. He is merciless, and he will kill us all. Send your children away, and the elders and the townsfolk-"

"Haven't seen you in years, Han-kun. Why come back now?"

"Yeah bastard! You crippled my cousin!"

"He's my cousin too!" Han Guan shouted into the sea of black and blue. He was shaking for some reason. Fear, probably fear.

"Didn't act like he was!"

"Whether he made a mistake over five years ago is irrelevant!" Shizu roared. "What matters is what happens next!"

"You believe him?"

"Yes I do!"

"Well we don't! Plus there's what he's saying! He says a giant worm is coming for us all!"

Gales of laughter broke out from the crowd. Han Guan whimpered, he hated being the laughing stock.

"What's so funny!?" Barked Miss Guan dangerously as she walked in on the rest of her clan. As she was blind she had no idea that Han Guan was standing nearby, looking very much like he was about to faint. "Well!?"

"It's your son... He is er-returned with rumours of a madman and a monster destroying villages. Just another joke-"

"Is it a joke? Because Masuta's men don't think so. And as he is our Daimyo, I expect you respect his beliefs?" There was a long silence, and she could feel the tension melting like ice. "Han... Come forwards."

Han Guan swallowed something and approached. His paws were wringing and he was biting back a whimper.

"Speak." She commanded. Looking directly at him from behind blind eyes and a blindfold.

"M-m-ma-". He hadn't known what to expect, but being seized into her warm embrace and clutched there tightly he felt like he could touch the sky. A part of him almost tried. Then Miss Guan pulled back.

"Do as he says."

* * *

Most of the townspeople had left with Shizu Guan. Hyng and Hyng had remained behind, to help rally the small crowd of people stubbornly refusing to leave. A few old men, a woman who was still desperately counting the number of children around her and one old lady who whacked anyone who asked her to move with a long and crooked walking stick. Aside from Shizu and children the rest of Clan Guan had stayed behind, dressed in full armour, with all weapons at the ready. Masuta's men were more stubborn-in particular the newly promoted Captain.

"And we're meant to prepare for a giant worm, because a bastard like you apparently worked for the psycho cat who did this? Have you drunk much sake today?"

Han Guan glared at him. "I don't drink Cat-kun! And I am telling the truth! If you get I don't know… Something that shreds armour up front-."

"Yes. I'm up front Guan-kun." The captain replied icily. "Now we don't have to worry about a giant, pink noodle."

"You're being an idiot!" Han Guan exclaimed.

"And you just fought a manga character? You're insane."

"I am not!"

The cat shoved past him. "You're a bastard and I don't take orders from bastards!"

Han Guan glared at him. "Then you'll die! We'll all die if you don't listen!"

"Listen to what? Towns have disappeared, that does not mean we are dealing with worms. It is an invader, and we will deal with the invaders."

"Call off your men! Save their lives and your life and get out of here while you still can!"

"A bastard and a coward."

Han clutched the sides of his head and unleashed a colourful volley of swear words.

Badr clapped his paw against his chest in want of another arm. "Wonderful Han, wonderful." He said over the loud volume of their Japanese shouting. All eyes turned to him, every Guan, and every part of the army. Han Guan went very pale, next to him stood the Thing, glinting in the low moonlight. "I am Badr Tamod. Bow to me and swear your allegiance to me, and you shall be spared."

Those who knew Chinese well translated it to their neighbors.

Badr smiled. Han Guan had translated it to the captain. The cat fixed him a cold look. He stalked forwards, katana drawn. Then told Han Guan to translate something.

Han gulped audibly. "Badr-sama… He has requested you to surrender. You can't win against our combined forces…" Han Guan gulped again, he was shaking like in a high wind. "Surrender or d-d-die."

Badr paused in mock thought. "Tell them I said n-wait. Let me reconsider! You don't need to tell them anything Han. They should understand this."

Out of the earth behind him, shrieking in a primeval voice, came the large deathworm. It's plates gleamed in the moonlight, and it's roars seemed to be like a high wind, shaking all in the area. It's large form cast a shadow over the troops, many of whom found their pants considerably hotter and wetter.

The captain was shaking all over, his katana raised. He never got the chance to do what he had planned to do, as a second later he had a katana belonging to the Thing stuck through his heart.

The Guan were not cowards and neither were Masuta's men, all of whom were trained to remove fear. But fear of another army charging at them was very different from fear of ghosts and other supernatural creatures. All hell broke loose when the Deathworm lurched forwards to dive into it's meal.

Hyng and Hyng grabbed Miss Guan and pulled her away. Masuta's army released a small volley of crossbow bolts and arrows, but the majority bounced off it's thick hide. Most of the Guans turned tail and left, the deathworm tore through any unfortunate souls too slow to get out of the way, and effortlessly ploughed Masuta's men in dirt as it charged forwards, crushing anything in it's path. It reared up again and dove into a building that had once been the blacksmith's, sending rubble flying everywhere. Han Guan got up, having thrown himself to the side as the worm lurched forwards. The Thing thrust at him, one of Masuta's soldiers parried the blow, and found himself scewered by the wooden lion. Han Guan rolled into it's feet, so that it fell forwards. Picking himself up he was too slow to avoid the tail of Badr's pet that flung him into a wall, knocking him out.

Badr relished in the screaming and put his paws together, or rather put his paw where it should have met it's missing counterpart. He opened his eyes, which were glowing yellow, and picked up a blade. This was going to be fun.

The soldiers and clansmen certainly didn't agree. Many had managed to strike the Deathworm's hide, but their weapons failed to pierce through, and they were knocked aside or crushed as the Deathworm continued on it's rampage, it's outer shell was covered in blood soon. Badr laughed madly as he ploughed his paw into the chest of a black-furred wolverine, and withdrew a beating heart-squishing it into the poor mustelid's face. Another wolverine swung at him, vengeance in his eyes. Badr casually swept aside and let the Thing chop at the mammal's head.

Masuta's men were scattered, many had been swallowed whole by the Deathworm, many had been crushed and many had been knocked aside by powerful swerves of the monstrosity's tail.

Badr's ringing laughter made the agonized screams of the dying a cacophany of noise. Badr found the townsfolk that refused to leave, cowering in an alley. He approached with deliberate slowness, letting them see the blood drip off his paws, around which there lay a golden aura. He didn't expect what happened next.

"Twin Belly slam!" Two fat badgers crashed into his sides, pinning him in their girth as they tightened their grip. The Thing slashed at them, but both slashes were parried by a blind stick, whirled expertly by an elderly wolverine. Badr twisted to one side, and bashed one badger's head into the wall, before doing the same to his twin. Both collapsed, groaning loudly. He charged at the wolverine, but a wave of rubble suddenly collapsed on top of him. Miss Guan threw the Thing over her back, before nodding for the survivor's to flee.

The Deathworm crashed through the granaries, sending the rice harvest and bits of rock flying like a cruel rain.

Badr exploded through the rubble, and wrapped a paw around her neck, slamming the old, blind wolverine into a wall. That was when a bright light exploded in front of his face. Badr yelled in pain, and was then kicked heavily into the dirt… By none other than Tai Lung... Zaburo…Not that anyone had any idea who he was.

"That's no way to treat a lady." The burly leopard snarled. Badr recovered quickly and dashed forwards, but 'Tai Lung' was ready, and caught his fist, before hurling him into a wall. The entire building then collapsed on top of him. The leopard turned and pulled Miss Guan to her feet. _"You must go!"_ He barked in Japanese, sounding far more like Danzaburo then Tai Lung.

* * *

"Aw crap!" Zorori exclaimed, watching the Deathworm tear the Guan palace to shreds. "You brought your kid here?! That is lousy parenting!" He said, trying to joke, despite the fact that even his red fur seemed to be going white.

Sakamata gave him a look that screamed 'this no time for jokes!', before thrusting Lee Junior into his paws. "Take care of him!" Li I and Lee were already ahead, and Kunjingle was using his larger form to good use as he tore forwards.

* * *

The Thing came out of nowhere and sliced at Tai Lung's cheek, tearing open the skin. Without thinking, Danzaburo changed form, now he was Master Flying Rhino, down to the armour and war hammer now in 'his' son's possession. He was lucky she was blind or Miss Guan would have feinted clear away. The wooden lion swung at him, his twin katana-arms giving the legendary armour two new slashes. Danzaburo responded by putting the rhino's weapon to good use and sent the thing flying backwards.

* * *

The majority of the survivors were now pinned as the Deathworm slithered forwards with menace, it dove forwards, it's massive jaws closing inches away from them as it was suddenly jerked backwards. It turned away from it's meal in irritation, to see Kunjingle smashing a now bloody fist into it's armour, to the surprise of any watching, it was now being cracked.

It flicked the bear away, or rather attempted to, for Kunjingle had clung on for dear life, as he was spun around and sent crashing through buildings, all while still maintaining a strong grip on it's tail.

Li I scurried along it's back, remembering every fight it had ever been in. Zorari had pinned it with giant vines, but he couldn't do that. Lang had also fought the worm back in the tournament. He had targeted it's softer spots inbetween the plates with his spear, as Li I was now doing, hurling his darts along with deadly accuracy as he went for the kill. It must have been seriously ticked off as it turned away from it's meal and made to get Kunjingle.

The bear was a bloody mess, but saw the lunge coming and threw himself above, so that the worm missed him, and he landed atop it's head. Li I joined him at the top.

"Nice view, eh?" He said, trying to relieve the tension. Then the worm turned down and rushed into the earth, the bear and the bunny clinging on for dear life.

* * *

Badr clambered out of the rubble, seriously ticked off. He was bloody and bruised, but still alive and kicking. The Thing was apparently fighting Master Flying Rhino, who had not noticed him. Rhino blocked one swing with his horn and the other with the hammer. He didn't see Badr coming for him with a swing that knocked the 'rhino' out of his form. Danzaburo rolled to his feet, drawing the katana from his mouth and swinging at the cat. The Thing blocked the blow, but not the shuriken Danzaburo had sent in it's wake. Badr hastily pulled the projectile out of his flesh, and blocked the subsequent volley of kunai. The tanuki swung for him and caught the cat by the ear. Badr felt dizzy, but soon found himself staring at a grinning, white hare. He felt his body's strength sap away, as if he had aged seventy years in one second. It wasn't painful, but was weakening.

Danzaburo was slightly annoyed the cat was still standing, sure he was using a watered down version of the Death Touch, but surely a weaker version of it was like a weaker explosion? His annoyance didn't stop him avoiding the Thing's next deadly blow, as he easily stepped aside and let the blades miss him. He swung and Yang Chaozaburo's fist dented the wooden lion's tough skull. He also lost connection with Badr, who raked his claws over his back, bringing the hare back to tanuki form. Danzaburo avoided another deadly swing and threw a tar bomb at the mechanical thing. The tar erupted, but Badr was quick on the uptake and smashed a fist into Danzaburo's nose. He then squeezed around the raccoon's throat. Danzaburo reached in for another leaf, but before he could deploy it, a chubby, brown-furred bunny, wielding a trident and a net landed a double-leg kick to Badr's side, knocking him and Danzaburo apart.

Badr got up and grinned. "Lee… my old friend!" He licked his lips. "It's been a while hasn't it? I wondered why you didn't show up before-" A blind stick smacked him on the head.

Miss Guan was glaring at him from two scarred, white irises. A black-furred bunny glared at the black cat. Danzaburo crawled out of sight. He was a spy, not a soldier, and the three looked more than a match for Badr and his Thing. Besides, if he kept fighting awkward questions would be asked... Or rather, more awkward questions would be asked than before. He heard more screaming and sighed, before assuming the form of a gargantuan gorilla. Playing a hero was harder than playing a spy… but sometimes he had to play the hero to be a spy… _Masuta would have a field day with that statement… The haiku's…_ Tin Zaburo shivered.

* * *

The earth teared at Kunjingle's back as the Deathworm plunged through the dirt, trying to shake off the mammals plastered to it's head. Kunjingle's back was on fire, but his tensed muscles prevented him from getting a fatal wound, the pain, however, was still present. Li I would have died by now had Kunjingle not flattened him under the bear's weight. Uncomfortable as it was to have the bear's wall of tensed flab squishing him into the Deathworm's thick plate, it was far better than being torn to shreds by the pressure of the earth and the worm's movement. As the worm resurfaced Kunjingle seized his opportunity and tore at the plate that was the worm's skeleton. Li I popped out from under him, looking green. Lang had been a pain to the Deathworm-but he had beat it in the end, not by clinging onto it's back or slicing in between the plates-but rather by getting it where it had no protection.

"Jingles! This may be the worst idea I've ever had, but I think we gotta get eaten!"

The bear gave him a look, and whistled.

"I am not mad! That's what Lang did, and he didn't even mean to do it!"

Kunjingle looked suddenly as green as him. The worm twisted.

"It's now or never!" Li I pleaded, looking like he'd really rather be doing anything than this.

Kunjingle bolted forwards suddenly, rising into the air above the worm. He clung onto Li I's foot as the two plummeted down into the abyss.

He made a kind of popping sound.

"My feet aren't lucky!" Was Li I's indignant reply.

Then the jaws of death shut over them.

* * *

 _Footnote: And there's part one of the climax._

 _Its fun writing Danza since he's got unlimited forms. Tin zaburo and Yang Chaoburo (reminds me of Chaonaburo that one does) are both forms he learned in One Form Too Many._

 _Yang Chao belongs to Mind Jack however._

 _I'm sorry about Masuta's men's backseat role, but let's be honest most armies would shit themselves if faced with something like this XD._


	28. How To Worm Your Way To Victory!

Lee charged forwards, swinging his trident behind him. He threw the net out at Badr, but the feline rolled to the side, and kicked at his side. The fat rabbit was knocked off his feet. Before Badr could do much else Sakamata's foot ploughed into his side and threw him off balance. She brought her fan down, it's sharp tips adding a gash to his cheek. Badr punched her chest, sending her flying backwards. Lee stabbed with his trident, it would have skewered the cat had the Thing not parried it with his blade, before swinging at Lee's face. Miss Guan's walking stick came between the rabbit and his death.

"Thanks!" He huffed, now frantically walking backwards, his trident parrying the Thing's furious lunges.

"Any time!" She barked, doing her best at not getting killed. Badr watched with glee as the Thing pressed them backwards. His smile turned into a cry of pain as Sakamata sliced his ear off with a flourish of her fan. He turned roaring and caught her by the throat, before bashing her into a wall. His grip tightened round her throat. She struggled frantically but his strength held her in place and her fan had fallen loose as soon as she hit the wall.

"No!" He heard Lee scream, and his grip increased ten fold. His determination turned to pain when he felt something bite at his tail. Roaring he turned to see Lee Junior clamping down on his tail and Zorori throwing himself at him.

Badr dived away, Sakamata caught Lee Junior and Zorori missed his original lunge. He improvised and rolled into the feline's feet as Badr was getting up, pushing him further backwards.

Lee managed to block a blow that would have vertically bisected Miss Guan, while sucking his belly in to avoid a lunge. Miss Guan roughly shouldered the wooden lion, who fell over Lee Junior and then received a scar over his eye as Sakamata sliced down with her now recovered fan.

Badr was up first and tried to end the duel quickly by bringing a foot crashing down into the young kitsune's ribs, the kitsune disappeared in a puff of smoke as Badr's foot sailed through it and into a waiting nail.

He screamed in pain as he hopped around on one foot, an easy target for the Prank King, who swept his foot out from under him, before whacking a dented wok he must have acquired into Badr's face. Before Badr had a chance to react he was laughing uproariously as something soft travelled swifty between each of his toes. The Ten Tailed Tickle Torture was just as effective as always.

* * *

Kunjingle's claws slowed the pair before they reached the stomach, several long bear-claw-shaped gashes lined the inside of the throat. Greenish blood was seeping out in little trickles.

Li breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Okay. Now for Operation-"

Kunjingle grunted and spat.

"You're right-no time for jokes." Li I withdrew a dart and plunged it into the flesh. Green blood spurted out from the gaps, coating Li I's face. Kunjingle tore with his claws and teeth, ripping through the slimy flesh. The rabbit stood on his head, repeatedly stabbing the slimy skin.

* * *

None of this was visible from the outside, all the survivor's saw was a writhing Deathworm, shrieking into the air. Many panicked and tried to push through the rubble that was their only hope for escape.

Miraculously it rose before their eyes, and standing before them, purple in the face, arms straining from the effort was Tin Zaburo-though all they saw was a large gorilla saving their lives.

The survivors rushed past, shouting in gratitude as they raced away from the chaos.

* * *

It was hard work, but the pair had made a rather large pair of holes within the beast. It's blood tore past them, rushing downwards like a ludicrous waterfall. Both were slick with the green substance. It was thicker than water, and seemed to glow rather brightly.

* * *

Lee blocked one katana meant for his infant son, Sakamata dove in and rescued the young rabbit before the second blade sliced down at the spot where he had been. Miss Guan smashed her stick into the side of the lion's head, and Lee kicked at his chest with both feet, knocking the lion backwards.

The Thing replied by slicing both blades down at Lee, who blocked dutifully with the shaft of his trident. Then the lion's mouth opened and two bolts shot out and buried themselves into Lee's gut. Sakamata kicked the lion away with a scream that seemed to echo all around.

* * *

Badr managed to recover, still laughing, and swung at Zorori. But the kitsune managed to dodge the blow, and tripped over what looked like a chair leg sticking out of a pile of crumbling mudbricks. Badr pounced on him, his fist smashing into the kitsune's unprotected face with a-relish. Zorori spat blood into his eye, and brought up a chopstick, which he promptly inserted up Badr's nose, before tucking his feet under him and throwing the feline off. Badr landed cat-like, on his feet, snarling savagely. Zorori rolled to his own and crouched so low he was practically on all fours, his tails held above him, all pointing at the cat.

Badr charged, his fist shimmering with his golden chi-the Iron Paw wouldn't last forever.

Zorori avoided the blow, which caught the chair leg instead, slicing it clean in two. Zorori pranced backwards, before suddenly tripping again, though this time Badr couldn't see over what. But he didn't care either. He pounced at the kitsune, ready to deliver a killing blow-when 'Zorori' disappeared in a puff of smoke. It was only after he felt something jam up right under his tail that he learned where the ten-tailed fox had gone. A moment later Badr was soaring through the air as chi coursed across his backside.

* * *

Sakamata rolled under the blade, before slicing the wooden lion's gut. This only resulted in her loosing her grip on the fan. She was forced to pull backwards as the Thing swung twice. Miss Guan smacked him roughly on the back of the head with her blind stick, but this only made it rotate towards her and slash downwards. She would have been killed then and there had it not been for Sakamata's timely kick that caught the wooden lion's leg and threw his attack off balance. Miss Guan then jabbed forwards with her blind stick, it's tip landed on the lion's chest with a loud snap as it promptly broke in half.

The Thing swung again, but Sakamata pulled the wolverine out of the way, and landed a flying spin kick to the Thing's knee, which caused the lion to loose balance and miss his next swing. Off balance, the Thing noted a baby rabbit, looking in confusion as his father tried to stem the red spot growing larger and larger. The Thing dived forwards and Sakamata realized too late what it was aiming for.

" _No!"_

* * *

So much blood was flowing that the whole throat seemed to glow the strange bright green of the blood. The Deathworm was shuddering violently and Li I had no idea how he was still holding on to Kunjingle's foot, and how the bear was still holding on to the side of the throat.

* * *

With a scream to rival Sakamata's the Deathworm crashed into the earth, smashing the Thing into the dust, as it twitched and writhed in agony.

Sakamata, Lee Junior and Lee's jaws dropped all the way.

"Well that was good timing." Lee finally managed to grunt.

* * *

Zorori found Badr lying face-down on the ground. He wasn't moving. The kitsune crouched next to him. "Before you die. I want you to know who did this. You killed my Soncho, Zorari Kaiketsu, my mother. You orphaned me, you took away a child's mother." He whimpered and suddenly he shouted. "She was _everything_ to me!" His voice was shaking with rage and he was fighting back tears again. He lashed out, repeatedly kicking the downed cat and pummeling his backand exposed side. He turned Badr over, and was punched in the face.

The sudden attack and rush of pain on his nose knocked him off balance. Zorori fell, his head hit a rock as he landed and his eyes rolled. Dazed as he was there was nothing he could do as Badr slammed a fist into his face and his eyes shut painfully. Before he could even cry out another punch sent him spiralling into blackness.

* * *

The Deathworm was choking up and as it shook in pain it commuted a sea of sandy sludge turned muddy with a glowing green liquid. Dazed survivors were being pulled out of the muck as the now harmless worm continued twitching.

It was surprising how few actual deaths there had been. Many were knocked out or injured, more were permenantly scarred or crippled with missing hands, legs or tails and the rest were exhausted and frightened. Out of the roughly two hundred fighters that had been assembled in the beginning, less than an eight were dead. As the survivors jumbled together to watch the Deathworm cough it's own bloody death and lick their wounds the sun began to rise. Someone pulled out a tonne of bandages and there was work to do. The crab commander of Masuta's forces was missing both his pincers, and was being treated by Miss Guan herself, who had to be told exactly where to wrap up. Lee had survived due to his stomach. The bolts had pierced his fat and nothing more, leaving him hurt and bleeding, but otherwise unharmed. Sakamata was trying to put Lee Junior to sleep. Tin Zaburo had disappeared, and Danzaburo lay resting against a wall that had not collapsed- he had assumed the form of a drunk rabbit once again. Kunjingle had collapsed and was snoozing away, Li I was about to join him when Badr's black form limped into the group. He was shaking with rage. His golden chi was still whirling around him, he still had a manic glint in his eye, and despite being covered in blood, seemed perfectly unharmed. He laughed as he saw them all, and many cowered or bit down whimpers as they set eyes on him.

"So. You chose to defy me. I asked nothing but loyalty."

Li I tried to get up, but his legs were shaking horribly.

"And I did say I'd kill you all." He paused. "Wait. I didn't really say that did I? Good. That would be such a waste. You will be made an example off. I will crush your bones to dust and squash your eyes into paste." He giggled. "Headless bodies will rot on spikes and I will burn your head off one by one and make you all watch before I-"

His sentence was cut short by Li I's fist, which Badr caught effortlessly, before sweeping his legs out from under him and smashing a foot into his ribs.

Li I groaned in pain.

Badr pointed at him. "Let him serve as an example. Behold, your fate!" That would have been the end of Li I as Badr wrenched a spear from the ground and brought it plummeting down towards the rabbit's throat. It never connected, as halfway through the spear was wrenched from his grip by a brown furred wolverine now wearing a glare and throwing the spear away, assuming a combat stance. Han Guan was still standing.

* * *

 _Footnote:Right, just like the Feral Islands, two chapters left. Which will end first? And what has become of poor Zorori? But clearly the battle is not lost yet! Enjoy :)_


	29. The Black Cat and the Bastard

Or at least he was until Badr delivered a backhand blow to the side of his head and a kick to the chin that knocked him off his feet.

The crowd winced, but Han Guan rose again, looking confident.

Infuriated Badr slammed his foot over Han's, punched him in the nose and kicked with his other leg, effortlessly dislocating the wolverine's foot with a loud ' _crick'._

Triumphant, he turned back to the even more fearful crowd. "What was I saying again?"

"What you were gonna do once you killed us all." Han Guan replied. He had risen shakily, and was now precariously balanced on one foot, the other giving him visible pain.

Badr frowned. "What on earth are you doing? I have just obliterated this town! I've won! Give up!"

The mustelid was pale, and holding himself up against the ruins of a wall. "You didn't win."

Badr lashed out, punching Han Guan in the gut before throwing him away. He landed next to an upturned table, which he used to prop himself up.

"You lost." He was wincing through every word, but they kept coming. "Your worm's dying. The Thing is gone, and you're just as tired as us. The best you can hope for is an escape route."

Badr charged, delivering a fly kick that sent his helpless opponent through a wall into a relatively intact building. "I _WON_! _You_ lost! _Your_ city is in ruins! _Your_ people dead! _I_ have won."

* * *

Danzaburo snuck off. Right now Japan's best hope was to attack with greater force. He had seen a lot of Badr's fighting, but didn't know it's limits. If Danzaburo were to fight him the outcome would be uncertain and even if he did win his cover would be totally blown. The best was for him to make a silent getaway. He was almost out of the town when he noticed the black tip of a fox tail sticking out from a pile of rubble. He knew that tail… After all it had become rather well acquainted with his toes. Danza changed directions.

* * *

Han Guan crawled out, and pulled himself up again, thoroughly pained. Badr looked murderous as the wolverine assumed a lame stance. The dislocated foot must have been killing him.

Badr closed the gap quickly and lashed out with at least twenty punches, before tossing him high into the air, leaping up after him and kicking down at his head to speed up his descent into a pile of dust. Han Guan landed with a loud _'crick'_ and the dust flew high.

Badr landed and smirked wildly. "Your hero is dead! You see! Resistance is futile! Bow before me and we shall be great! I will forgive your crimes against me-" There was a humongous gasp from the crowd, and Li I's jaw felt like it dropped to his knees. Badr chuckled. "Yes I am merciful." Then he realized they were staring past him. He turned and felt his own jaw grow slack. Han Guan was stepping gingerly to his feet.

"Thank you for fixing my foot Badr-kun. Lucky I landed on my feet, thought that was a cat thing. Oh and throwing me into the armoury was nice too!" He said all this as if he seriously thought Badr had done both on purpose. "Now I have these!" He indicated his elbows, which were padded and had three long, curving blades stemming from them. Then Han Guan grinned and waggled a finger in Badr's direction. "You really shouldn't waste a tonne of chi trying to kill someone by tossing them around. Not that I'm complaining."

"Did Han just diss out Badr?" Li I asked nobody in particular. Miss Guan was smiling and trying to hide her pride and Hyng and Hyng looked like their jaw muscles weren't working properly anymore. The crowd seemed extremely impressed in general, particularly the Guans.

Well they were, until he assumed a ludicrous-looking stance. "Let's _boogey_!"

"Ah, there's the good old Han!" Li I exclaimed, laughing at the look on Badr's face.

Badr was speechless. He charged, snarling, and swung. To noone's surprise the blow connected, and sent the wolverine reeling, he then followed up by kneeing him twice in the gut and shoving him backwards. Han Guan landed on his back, and rolled out of the way of a foot-stomp that would have crushed his defenceless ribcage. Badr punched down at him, but the wolverine caught his fist in his own paws, before bringing both feet up to Badr's face and kicking him off.

The feline stumbled as Han Guan got to his feet. Badr realized that his paws were no longer surrounded by golden chi and his eye was not glowing either.

"Looks like you're all out Badr-kun. I told you not to waste it." Han mocked, wagging a finger at the black cat.

"I already won!" Badr roared, lunging. _"You cannot! Will not! Beat! Me!"_ His lunge was slower and now Han Guan had the advantage. He blocked the blow and sliced at Badr's front, his claws shattering through Badr's rusted armour. He brought one knee into Badr's gut, before kicking with his other leg. Badr flew to the ground, but managed to get back to his feet before Han Guan could further shred him. Badr kicked at the mustelid, who blocked, but recieved another kick from Badr's other leg.

"Should we help him?" Sakamata asked, eyeing the fight with some worry.

"No." Barked Miss Guan. "This is his moment."

Han Guan swung his elbow at Badr, who ducked, but was too slow at flattening his remaining ear, which soared off spectacularly. The wolverine brought both knees into Badr's gut, then kicked him away with both feet. Han landed somewhat clumsily, but Badr crashed past a chair, and landed hard on his rump. Getting to his feet he began speaking. "I brought you back from the _dead_! You would be six feet under if it wasn't for me!"

"You brought me back as a mindless slave meant to avenge your daughter. I don't know how Safi-chan died, but if you'd go this far to avenge her, then why didn't you ressurect her in the first place?"

It was too much for Badr, to be lectured by this incompetent, idiotic imbecile. Badr became illegilible and began screaming madly as he hopped in the air with rage. _"I WON! I WON! I WON!"_ He drew a sword from the rubble and charged at Han Guan. He pounced into the air and brought the katana down, Han blocked with his elbow pads, before landing a kick on Badr's ankle, the sharp claws on his feet dipping in and out of the feline's flesh, barging him away to get some space. Badr brought the katana high, before swinging down low in a wide circle, Han blocked with his sharp little claws, the mustelid threw the blade away, off balance, before spinning close to Badr and slamming his elbow into the scar on Badr's shoulder, from whence an arm had once dangled. Badr yelled in pain, and received three long gashes along his cheek. Badr roared with rage and kicked Han Guan with all the force he could muster, the wolverine crashing through another wall. This time however, Badr followed him inside.

* * *

At first he looked like he was dead. But on closer inspection and a sigh of relief, Danzaburo saw that Zorori was still breathing. Very well, now he could continue… But he couldn't leave Zorori out in the open. Badr would kill him and if Masuta's men found out about the kitsune his fate wouldn't improve much. Danzaburo lifted him into the air, and carried the kit out of town… He would have to delay his trip to the Daimyo.

* * *

The school had been destroyed by the attack, but the garden was still intact. It was just as it had been while Han Guan had been a pup, all down to the dilapidated swing hanging off a lonely tree in the corner. Han Guan was rising to his feet, and used the swing as an aide. He stood facing the black cat.

"Why do you protest? I've won! You've lost! Why don't you _just GIVE UP!"_

Han Guan shrugged. "I never give up Badr-kun. And I'm not starting now. All my life I wanted to prove myself. To bring honor to my clan. To be more than just the 'bastard' or the 'tail'. I wanted to be respected. I wanted to be loved…" Han Guan shrugged again. "I guess you could call me stubborn."

Badr snarled and flourished the blade. "So be it!"

The garden was filling up around them as Badr charged. The feline could almost see the wolverine's blood coating the blade, when a swing flew at him. He ducked and swung at Han, who blocked with his elbow pads, the swing came back and crashed into the back of Badr's head. Han Guan brought his other elbow down on Badr's paw, the feline's fingers were sliced clean off, and with an uppercutted slash, Badr was sent reeling backwards, more rusted metal flying off his armour, the katana now held by severed, black-furred fingers. Badr tried to rise weakly, but found Han Guan's claws poking into the sides of his neck.

The crowd all gasped collectively. Han Guan had won. Then the echoing begun. 'Han Guan saved the village'. At first it was filled with shock, as if whoever said it didn't know the meanings of the words they were just saying. Then it became joy. Then celebration.

Li I was the first to begin cheering, by running forwards and hopping up to reach the mustelid's neck. Kunjingle, who had finally woken up, gave him a bone-breaking bear hug. And then it seemed everyone loved Han Guan. He was wrestled from Kunjingle's grip and then was being tossed into the air by the crowd, all of whom were crying out 'Han Guan saved the village' at the top of their lungs.

Noone noticed the black cat leaving their presence.

* * *

Zorori's eyes slid open. He felt dizzy. A blurred figure was bandaging him. "Where am I?"

"You're safe for now. I dragged you away from the fighting."

Zorori knew his voice. "You're the tanuki."

"Yes."

Then silence came. "What happened?" Zorori finally asked.

"Someone made a diversion. I used it to get away. Badr-kun is at his weakest, but we should send a large amount of our best fighters."

"Our?" Zorori rolled his eyes. "I'm not a fish Mister."

"No. You're the Prank King."

"So you're taking me to the Daimyo… Isn't he gonna just kill me?"

"Not necessarily. Besides I'm taking you with me, but you don't have to meet the Daimyo." Danzaburo offered. "I could keep you safe."

"No thanks. Most people who tried to do that are dead now." Zorori's thoughts flew to his mother. And how he had failed to avenge her. He felt bitter… Angry… And sad. She had died to save him… And he had failed to avenge her… His own mother...

* * *

"Stop!" Instantly noone caught Han Guan, who fell at the feet of his mother.

Gulping audibly he got to his feet, trying to straighten up as best he could. He felt very little like a hero now and very much like a frightened pup.

"And stop trying to straighten up. You look better slouching." She barked, making Han blink. She then pulled him into a hug.

There was a massive ' _D'AWWWWW_ ' from the crowd, and Li I and Kunjingle were crying into each other unrelentlessly. Both because it was (to Li anyways) heartwarming as hell, but also because the last they'd seen of Han Guan was his tombstone.

The euphoria was too much for Han Guan, who fainted clean away.

* * *

"I won. I won. I won." Badr waded through the forest, his eye unfocused. He was in pain like never before. No ears, missing fingers, re-opened scar. All that was on his mind were the two words he kept on repeating. "I won. I won. I won." He twisted around a large oak, and spotted a raccoon helping a fox to his feet. Only the fox had ten tails. "I won. I won. I won." Badr walked forwards, not caring about them.

Danzaburo helped Zorori to his feet, then both caught sight of Badr Tamod.

They shared a look.

"I won. I won. I won."

Zorori looked Danzaburo right in the eye. "That cat killed my mom and destroyed my home. Give me something sharp."

Wordlessly Danzaburo withdrew the leaf from his mouth, morphed it into a katana, then handed it to the kitsune.

"I won. I won. I won." The fox was walking towards him. Zorori didn't spend time with words this time. He swung the katana down, opening Badr's throat. The cat fell to his knees, his eyes rolling up. Then Zorori brought the katana down atop his head, watching with some satisfaction as it was buried deep into Badr's skull. The kitsune was breathing deeply. Danzaburo placed a paw on his shoulder. "Better?"

Zorori took a deep breath. "Better."

Danzaburo nodded, and withdrew his blade from the cat's head, letting Badr's lifeless corpse hit the ground. "Let's go get some sushi. You must be starving."

* * *

 _Footnote: I personally, loved this chapter. Han Guan has been the butt of jokes and gets trodden on more than most (but that's my fault isn't it?). Writing him being triumphant was delightful! And I also hope Badr's death was satisfying. Originally Han was meant to do the deed, but Zorori felt more fitting._

 _Now this chapter had many potential names. One was the Tabby and the Tail. Another was Han Triumphant, but that gave the game away rather quickly. So did Fall of Badr. In the end I went for this. Favourite fight scene to date IMO, if only because of the happy ending rather than the choreography._


	30. Two Letters

"..and then Han went _BANG_ and Badr was like ' _NOOOOOOOOOOOO_ ' and we were like ' _YEEEEEEESSSSSSS_ ', and then Badr hit him and we were like ' _BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!"

Li I was writing another letter to Jiao'ao, for earlier that day the peacock's reply had come.

 _"Dear Li I,_

 _I am the son of Lord La, I think several people mentioned it. But I'm glad to hear you woke up! How are you feeling?_

 _In regards to Shifty. I don't really have contact with him, but we did meet up not too long ago… Long story short he was getting married and Badr was trying to kill us. Luckily neither happened, though I'm not sure what became of Badr in the end._

 _Good luck finding your father._

 _Jiao'ao_

Li I had then detailed his whole adventure and was giving a blow by blow analysis of the fight between Badr and Han Guan. _"AND THEN THE CROWD WENT NUTS!_ _WE_ were all like ' _GO HAAAAAAAAAAAN!"_

Several heads turned in his direction as he wrote those words.

"But then Badr got away and we were all like ' _NOOOOOOO_ ' but then he met Zorori… I don't think we'll hear from him again XD (my laughing face remember).

 _Anyways Han Guan is now the hero of this village and it's all getting rebuilt. From all I've heard of him Masuta sounded like a big-ass jerk, but he's actually pretty helpful with construction. I don't know if Han's reputation will stay though, he almost set fire to the mud bricks (don't even get me started on how he did it), still I don't think anyone's gonna antagonize him after his epic battle! Well my dad and mom (stepmum but who cares right?) And my baby brother (half-brother) all live in a village next door with Zorori, who we adopted. He's still not all happy and all, but give him time and he'll be back to normal! Plus he gets free Tai Chi lessons from some drunken pig. I'm sure he'll be fine! As for Jingles, well he's helping construction. I don't know how wedge he is, but he is doing a lot, like a LOT of heavy lifting. He also made this beautiful speech at the funeral for the guys who died in battle (not Badr, we kicked his dead body into a latrine pit, which Han blew up somehow… Well he's not getting ressurected any time soon. I'm gonna stick around here and hope for the best, life in Japan is pretty cool! I'm even learning the language! 'Sayonara' means 'hello'! But sushi is not easy to get used to and their dumplings are different. Still it's tasty! So I hope things are going well with you. If you're ever on some political mission to Japan feel free to pop in!"_

Li I sealed the letter and posted it with a contented sigh. He had already sent one each for Mung, Mrs Yang, Fidget, Flower and Peng you. He grinned. Somehow he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

* * *

He wasn't the only one writing a letter either, though Danzaburo's was a different kind of Lord and his letter did not have laughing faces or blow by blow crowd reactions and it was arguably more important. It described Danza's leave of absence. Most of it was concocted half-truths.

According to the highly-detailed report he was writing he had heard of Badr Tamod as an alleged murder, upon noticing one of his goons brawling with a member of the Guan clan he had followed them on their journey. Naturally he had left out the bits involving Kentikarukage, he knew that a lot of the people involved knew about what had happened there, but Masuta had no idea it existed… And Danzaburo had no need to tell him. The kitsune were still in hiding, and most likely rebuilding the secret village, Zorori was living with the rabbit family, but had enough common sense to not go around waving his tails around. Then the rest was the truth. Danzaburo had found Han Guan and convinced him to warn the Guan clan of Badr's imminent arrival. He had done just that but Badr had still attacked. Danzaburo continued with an explanation of how he had helped save countless lives in the chaos, and how nobody could remember seeing him. There was still a search for a missing gorilla, but the tanuki knew that Tinzaburo was unlikely to be found. His cover was still intact and the town owed him one. Until he received Masuta's reply he would stay to see the progress of construction, and keep an eye on Zorori Pom-Poko. He posted the letter and left, swapping into a wolverine. He had a break for now, what need did anyone have on information on China if they didn't have roofs?

* * *

The removal of the Deathworm's corpse was the hardest part. It's outer shell had been mostly stripped and deemed valuable, with a good load of it being sent to the Daimyo for orders. It would make excellent armour. But the Guan got some as well. It's large, greyish body was a different matter. Burning it was risky as the fire could quickly go out of paw. Tearing it apart was not a job for the squeamish, so with a tremendous effort it was dragged off and buried whole in a huge pit.

* * *

The Thing tried to climb up to it's feet, but found they were not connected to it's body anymore. It dragged itself forwards with it's arms, but was stopped when Han Guan drove his sharp little claws through it's neck. It collapsed and the wolverine dropped the head to the floor.

"We should burn this as well!" He said, dusting his paws and grinning.

The past few days had been strange to say the least. He'd gone straight from 'kun' to 'sama' and suddenly everyone loved him. Countless people had apologized for things Han Guan barely remembered, and some were under the impression that he'd won a tournament and had even gone on a world tour! His mother's newfound attitude alone would have made his heart soar- the approval of his entire clan and all the townsfolk? It was like a dream come true!

Of course he was presently homeless, but that was not much of a damper. Neither was the fact that he had technically speaking been buried alive. It was frightening to think about and therefore he dedicated little thought to it. The important part was rebuilding.

"Hello Han-sama." Called several relatives he knew not the names of not had ever spoken to.

The wolverine of course waved, not that he could think of anything else to do. Luckily Li I came to his rescue.

"Hey Han! So I sent a letter to Jiao'ao and stuff, guess what, Badr tried to kill him too! Glad we're rid of him to be honest."

The wolverine nodded vigorously in agreement. "Oh yes, very glad. When did he get so crazy anyways?"

Li shrugged "Beats me! I mean we were kind of out of it, weren't we?"

"Yeah..." Han traced his scar with growing discomfort. He had become habituated to covering it up now. It would not do to be stared at.

The rabbit shrugged. "I'm going to see what Kunjingle's up to. Oh and remember, tomorrow night, Battai, my place. Dad owns a set."

"I can't do tomorrow. Mum wants to er- catch up." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Maybe another time?"

The rabbit shrugged. "Sure, anytime. How about tonight? Anyways I'll bet you're busy these days, Han _-sama."_

The wolverine's ears went a delicate shade of red. "You don't have to call me that."

"I know I don't have to! I want to! You deserve the respect man. Though I'm still going to wipe the floor with you when the cards come out. Tonight?"

Han Guan grinned. "You're on Li-sama!"

* * *

 _Footnote: A very happy ending for everyone! Except Badr, he doesn't deserve one XD._

 _Thus ends my latest fic, tying up Badr's tale and giving rise to a new life for Li, Kunjingle and the rest._

 _There will be a sorta sequel that's really a prequel called Suna's Orphanage, which is basically this story's prequel arc. I don't really need to plan for it (who needs to plan for random comedy?) and am stuffed with other projects, so I can't say when to expect it. Or exactly what to expect in it besides the characters and comedy._

 _We will also revisit Japan again in the Mongol Wars re-write (which probably needs a new title...)_

 _But for now enjoy this happy ending!_

 ** _Edited Note: Honestly I forgot how much I loved this story. Really something special. I don't know why exactly. I guess it was my first time handling lots of emotions while also being funny. Or trying to be at least. This ending is as they usually are, a happy one. And it feels good to be able to look back on something and think 'hey! This didn't totally suck!'_**

 ** _One thing I did notice while doing this editting, is that Hercules and Li have got a lot in common (Hercules' personality is basically Li's turned up to... A number with lots of zeroes.) Fret and Han Guan have also got a lot of things in common (...though this was something I noticed and so tried to subvert). Just interesting to see some parralel between my different fics._**

 ** _Of course I probably can write better now (this story has so much head hopping) but I think this is good enough to not need a whole rework._**

 ** _I changed up very little, I added the scene with Han here at the end, the Flower and Li scene was also changed up a bit and er... That's it really. Cleared up some typos, added lines. Didn't correct the punctuation but... Did I have to ?_**

 ** _Glad I got through this so quickly as well. Next up is One Form Too Many._**


End file.
